ah Page 458 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Elijah Dukes Uses His Powers For Good, Still Gets Into Trouble
Elijah Dukes spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Naturally, that led to him being benched, a crushing defeat for the Nationals, and a teammate with a broken ankle....

NHL, NBA Playoffs Not Over Yet
How was your weekend? I had no access to the internet (or TV! The horror), but I trust that things around these parts were quiet and uneventful with little or no boat rocking whatsoever....

Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

Jessica Rose A Little Unclear On This Blogging Business
"I unfortunately won't be home to view the game and don't have DVR since I just moved. This is not fun for me. Keep me updated via twitter @jessicaleerose." [Puck Daddy]...

Hannah Storm Knows She's Being Watched By Drooling Morons
"I know that when I came here I dressed differently than a lot of the anchors they had previous, but I dress like I dress...I'm really not dressing necessarily to please anyone." [Houston Press]...

Isiah Thomas Promises No More Sex Harassing, Suicide Attempts, Personal Salaries
In the latest installment of the Isiah Thomas career makeover, our hero magnanimously told the assembled press corps that his first year's salary as coach of FIU will be given back to the school....

Florida High School Pitcher Loves No-Hitters, Beef O'Brady's
Either Patrick Schuster is really good, or the high school teams in the Tampa-St. Pete area totally suck. At any rate, the Mitchell High hurler now has three consecutive no-hitters....

Famous Guy To Become Slightly Less Famous
Oscar De La Hoya "retired" today, which is what boxers do while they wait for someone to offer them $20 million for their once-in-a-lifetime comeback payday. He will be missed?...

Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....

Dodger Fan Unable To Dodge Knife
Opening Day at Dodger Stadium went off without a hitch. There was plenty of fighting, gun-waving, knife play, vandalism and general mayhem to keep everyone on their toes....

Brian Bosworth Is An American Hero
Cinematic legend Brian Bosworth is credited with (probably) saving the life of an unknown man when he hopped off his motorcycle to administer CPR—right after saving the lives of dozens of high school students....

Isiah Thomas Is Never Going Away
Rumor has it that Florida International wants to has hired organizational wunderkind Isiah Thomas to be their new head basketball coach. Unbelievable. I guess FIU doesn't have a history department. [ESPN]...

Was Michael Phelps Narced On By Careless Phish Fan?
Even though it was months ago that Michael Phelps' bong-sucking photo captivated The World and perished many endorsement opportunities, there's still some mystery as to how the photo became public. One theory: Phish heads....

Miami Feels The Pain That Will Last A Lifetime
In the annals of gut-wrenching defeats, you're going to have to dig deep to find one tougher than Miami's collapse against Boston in the NCAA hockey final on Sunday....

Boob-Looking Announcer Gains Redemption
Former Iowa broadcaster Ed Podolak—whose only crime was loving life—will be back in the booth for Iowa football games next fall. That is just and wise. [The Gazette]...

ESPN Brings Out The Sad Trombone
When your whole reason for being is fun and games, it's tough to strike the right tone when real life intrudes on your happy time. (Ahem.) On live TV—you win some, you lose some....

Angels Pitcher Nick Adenhart Killed In Auto Accident
This is sad. Just hours after he finished pitching six scoreless innings for the Angels last night, the 22-year-old pitcher has died....

It's Good To Be Bill Macdonald
Fox Sports West's Bill Macdonald has been a popular LA-based broadcaster for more than 20 years. Unfortunately, Halos Heaven ran some photos of him getting cozy with a young woman outside of Angels Stadium....

The Iowa Hawkeyes Are Already In Midseason Form
One should never go into spring break cold. It's important to ease into it with a few warmup public intoxication arrests, as these three Iowa football players can tell you....