ah Page 476 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome to Wild Card Weekend
Praise Jesus, Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Yaweh, Zeus, Odin, Bill Brasky, and their father, Tim Tebow. The NFL Playoffs arrive today and my preferred team will be kicking things off in about four hours. Seattle have the honor of hosting the early game and the weather is about what you'd expect. T...
Knicks Take Brief 2nd Quarter Lead, Lose
On a team loaded with horrendous contracts Jared Jeffries is often overlooked. Last night the man who signed for $30 million over five years put up a line of zero points, one assist, and two big rebounds against San Antonio. But hey, when you play 16 minutes and only attempt one shot it probably mea...
NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Redskins
All right, kids, the playoffs are beginning Saturday, so it's time to start sorting some of these wild-card matchups. We find one game compelling, two somewhat intriguing and one rather dull. This is in that middle category....
Isiah Thomas Is Many Wonderful, Vibrant Shades Of Crazy
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a copy of which I carry at all times, a delusion is defined as: "A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality." There are three photos of Isiah Thomas next to the entry. Just prior to the Knicks' a 107-97 l...
Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...
SHOTY Final Four: Elijah Dukes Vs. Isiah Thomas
Because it's New Years Eve, and we're taking tomorrow off, we figured we'd go ahead and let this post ride the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. (At least until we do our "ZOOOOK" post after the Illini shock the world in the Rose Bowl.)...
Woe Is The Illini
The Tennessee State Tigers are 4-8, with losses to Belmont, Akron, Colorado State and Southeast Missouri State. It was once known as the Tennessee State Agricultural and Industrial State Normal School for Negroes. Oprah Winfrey went there. And yesterday, they beat our Illini at the Assembly Hall in ...
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
Speeding Tennis Balls To The Nads Are Painful, Scientists Confirm
The now-swollen man named Jason Fields did this in the name of science, which was curious how the heart rate changes while anticipating a frozen rope to the sack. Suffice to say, we need to bump Fields to the absolute top of the national list of people who are in desperate need of being donated a bl...
Knicks End Up Not Being Worth Protesting
So the Knicks fans had that "Fire Isiah" rally yesterday afternoon — inconveniently right before the Knicks' most impressive win of the season — and the outrage in New York was palpable. And by "palpable," we mean, "about two dozen people showed up despite it taking place in one of the most highly f...
What One Man Can Possibly Overcome
This is Darrell Mack, star running back for Utah, which plays in something called the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl tomorrow night against Navy. We've heard all kinds of stories about athletes overcoming hardships to succeed on grand stages, but, man, this guy, we have no idea how he...
The New York Knicks Will Not Tolerate Your Taunts
If you're a major sports franchise that's trying to survive rough times, you do anything you can to keep the fans on your side ... winning hearts and minds is almost as important as winning games. So that's why, naturally, the New York Knicks on Monday ejected a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah' sig...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Ron Mexico Vs. Isiah Thomas
In the first round, No. 1 seed Ron Mexico/Michael Vick/Ookie was more wobbly than we might have suspected. He could be ripe for an Elite Eight upset....
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
Bob Knight, Isiah Thomas And "Sunt"
An outstanding find from The Big Lead: An old video of Isiah Thomas, while honoring former coach Bobby Knight, explaining what he learned from the coach. The main thing he learned? The word "sunt."...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....
Isiah Says It's All YOUR Fault
Athletes and coaches will never understand one basic tenet about being a sports fan: If your team wins games, you're the loudest, most supportive fans alive. If your team loses all the time, no matter how loyal you are to your team and how devoted you are, you tend not to scream that much. It is not...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Marques Slocum
We come, AT LAST, to the end of the first round of SHOTY voting. Yes, it's taken a while; just be glad we have 16 competitors, rather than 64. We would have had to start in June....