ah Page 478 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

The Utah Jazz Had More Fun On New Years Eve Than You Did
You might have seen these by now, but in case you haven't ... here's proof that the Utah Jazz are destined to have goofy parties whenever Andrei Kirilenko hosts them....

Shiny Happy Isiah Laughing
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or filing important documents, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Seahawks-Packers, Second Half Live Blog
It appears that Winkles the Sockpuppet has found his way to Wisconsin, somehow, someway, to inspire Green Bay's comeback despite a 14-point deficit way early on. Seahawks fans — everyone, actually — would be wise to follow along for the second half of this incredibly fun game and see if Seattle has ...

Seahawks-Packers, First Half Live Blog
Vince Lombardi's grandson, also named Vince Lombardi, is Seattle-area lawyer, and despite his granddaddy's legacy he's rooting against the Packers. Jim Zorn's children had no idea this was permitted and feel rather shortchanged. (Found through SPORTSbyBROOKS.) Here's a big, hearty cheddar cheese soy...

Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...

51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...

Your SHOTY Winner: Isiah Thomas
We would like to congratulate Isiah Thomas on his ascendence to the lofty perch of 2007 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year....

Strahan Would Totally Tap That
At first glance it's moral support from an unlikely source: Giants defensive end Michael Strahan says that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson should be given their space. Leave Romo alone! He's a human being! Etc., etc. But you and I know what the real deal is here. Hey Tony, if you ever get tired of her...

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Packers Vs. Seahawks
OK, everyone, it's the best football weekend of the year. Seriously: Four awesome games, all weekend. What more could someone want?...

The 'Fire Isiah' Movement, Now In Rap
Merciless boos in his home arena, eight-foot pink slips calling for his job, sexual harassment claims; Isiah Thomas has heard, seen and squeezed it all. And yet still he stands tall; an unwavering pillar of grinning cocksureness. Until now....

SHOTY Title Game: Kige Ramsey Vs. Isiah Thomas
Well, we've come this far, and now it's time to crown a 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year. Fortunately, it didn't take very long....

Eli Manning Could Get Into This Football Thing
Look at that Eli Manning. Look at him! He's all fired up! He loves this game of football! It's so cute; Eli is PUMPED!...

Seattle vs. Washington: Second Half
image via Getty I hope you enjoyed that first half, because I sure as shit didn't. The Redskins punted the ball at a breakneck pace and once Seattle got on the board their offense began to slow down. Then at the very end of the half master timekeeper Mike Holmgren decided he didn't want to leave any...

Seattle vs. Washington: First Half
Image via army.mil It's just about that time and my fingers are shaking from the anticipation... and the delirium tremens. The Seahawks and their alleged 12th Man have opened up Qwest field to the visiting Redskins and the kickoff of the 2008 NFLplayoffs are just moments away. I won't actually "liv...

Welcome to Wild Card Weekend
Praise Jesus, Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Yaweh, Zeus, Odin, Bill Brasky, and their father, Tim Tebow. The NFL Playoffs arrive today and my preferred team will be kicking things off in about four hours. Seattle have the honor of hosting the early game and the weather is about what you'd expect. T...

Knicks Take Brief 2nd Quarter Lead, Lose
On a team loaded with horrendous contracts Jared Jeffries is often overlooked. Last night the man who signed for $30 million over five years put up a line of zero points, one assist, and two big rebounds against San Antonio. But hey, when you play 16 minutes and only attempt one shot it probably mea...

NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Redskins
All right, kids, the playoffs are beginning Saturday, so it's time to start sorting some of these wild-card matchups. We find one game compelling, two somewhat intriguing and one rather dull. This is in that middle category....

Isiah Thomas Is Many Wonderful, Vibrant Shades Of Crazy
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a copy of which I carry at all times, a delusion is defined as: "A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality." There are three photos of Isiah Thomas next to the entry. Just prior to the Knicks' a 107-97 l...