ah Page 493 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Broncos' Secret Success Ratio
As evidenced by our 3-5 record of predicting playoff games so far (straight up, no spread), we're notoriously lousy at pigskin prognostication. It's not like this has been the easiest postseason to predict anyway; we can only think of one prediction system that would have led to a correct Steelers...
Do Not Let This Song In Your Skull
We've heard all kinds of pretty horrible team theme songs, starting with the Super Bowl Shuffle and heading all the way down to Bootsy Collins' "Fear The Tiger," the first-ever ode written for an NFL team for achieving the lofty goal of an early-season lead in the AFC North....
Isiah Thomas. Bill Simmons. Quien Es Mas Macho?
In one of those stories that almost seem too good to be true around here, it appears that good ole' Bill Simmons has been threatened by Knicks general "manager" Isiah Thomas on — of all things — Stephen A. Smith's radio show. In his newest "More Cowbell" post, a Simmons reader writes in:...
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 4th Quarter
• Hey, a 52-yard gain by the Redskins. All on one play. They are serious about cracking that 200-yard barrier today....
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 3rd Quarter
• It's official... Shaun Alexander won't be returning. Perhaps I'm crazy, but this doesn't seem like that big of a negative for the Seahawks. The Redskins aren't going to let anyone run on them today, be it Shaun Alexander, Maurice Morris, or Curt Warner. Now, they've got to put the game in the ha...
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 2nd Quarter
• Damn... Seattle WR Darrell Jackson's return is also questionable. He took a knee in the back. Losing Darrell Jackson and Shaun Alexander in the first 15:00 of play is a nightmare scenario for the Seahawaks....
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 1st Quarter
• Twenty-seven straight days of rain in Seattle? That's just disgusting. The Seahawks better win, because between the rain and the presence of Tony Siragusa, half of the city's population is probably already on suicide watch....
Playoff Pants Party! Redskins at Seahawks
Snore. Anybody else smell craptastic blowout on this one? Even though the Seahawks are notorious bed-shitters when it comes to the playoffs, it seems almost impossible for them to lose this game. Yes, the Redskins defense is great, Greg Williams is a multi-millionaire genius, and the offense is...hm...
Illinois Joins The Ranks Of The Defeated
That nasty Iowa defense spent the day sweating Dee Brown into a 2-of-14 performance from field, holding him to just six points and polishing off a 63-48 Iowa victory....
An Orgy Of Sorgi
Peyton Manning's day was limited to 12 attempts, and it's been all Jim Sorgi since. The headline might be a little misleading; Sorgi hasn't actually done anything remarkable, good or bad. He's 7/11 for 46 yards, 0 TDs, and 0 INTs. I really just liked the rhyme....
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chargers 26, Colts 17. This advice may be a little late, but I really think Tony Dungy should've rested people this week. • Pittsburgh 18, Minnesota 3. Pretty poor performance at home today by the Vikings, especially in a game they needed. They went down like Bryant McKinnie. • Seahawks 28, Titans...
Watch Your Back In Park City
On the list of Stories We'd Rather Not Report But Have To Anyway, we point out that Utah Jazz point guard — and University of Illinois legend — Deron Williams was arrested (along with another, more anonymous, rookie) over the weekend for giving false information to police. Apparently, there was a ...
Adam Morrison is a hero
"Major onions" was how Bill Raftery described it. The play-by-play guy ended the telecast by calling Morrison "the best college basketball player in the country." He may be that, I don't know, but I think JJ Redick's 41 points against the #2 team in the nation at least leaves the issue open for deba...
Gotta Support The Team
When we were a kid, we would always stay in the stadium hours after Illinois football games ended so we could watch the players and press meet by the tunnel to the locker rooms; something about balding paunchy men interviewing people 30 years their junior fascinated us even then. We never quite ha...
Yahoo's Fantasy Football Screwed Up. Don't Riot, People!
Most common email we've received this morning: What's up with Yahoo's fantasy football page? For whatever reason, the site is just showing the first names of every player and says they're all on a bye week. We're sure this will be fixed soon, but, honestly, nothing fires sports fans up more than ...
Excuse Our Excretory Humor
OK, we're going entirely from memory here, since we haven't been able to find anything else about the exchange on the Web, but that's fine, we'd like to take credit for seeing it anyway. It will reveal just how puerile we really are....
Jeremy Shockey, Premature Joculator
For anyone who missed the end of the Giants-Seahawks game yesterday, Giants kicker Jay Feely missed three field goals late to cost the team a victory. (Oh, as mentioned earlier: Daily News: "Sinking Feely." Post: "Feely The Pain.")...
"We Know This Is Off The Subject A Bit, But How Much Do You Think We Could Bench?"
We don't know if Bills fan Nate Neubauer of Lancaster, N.Y., has seen the brilliant Best In Show, but we certainly hope so....
T.O.'s 18-Year-Old Assassin
We find it amusing that people are trying to come up with alternate excuses why Terrell Owens was suspended by the Eagles — fight with Hugh Douglas, frustration over the Eagles not recognizing his 100th touchdown, so on — when it's pretty clear, to us anyway, that his comment that Brett Favre woul...
Respect The NOOCH!
Last night, the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets (NOOCH!) shocked pretty much everyone by hammering to Sacramento Kings in front of nearly 20,000 crazed Oklahomans....