ah Page 493 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBA Roundup: Isiah Thomas Farewell Tour Makes First Stop
Notes from yesterday's action in the National Basketball Association ......
NBA Kicks Off In Earnest, And That Means It's Isiah Time!
Well, it's a beautiful time of the year, because not only is there a full slate of NBA games tonight, but one of them involves ... the Knicks! Yep, Isiah's boys tip off tonight in the strangely disappointing locale of Memphis, as they face the Grizzlies. Of all the games tonight, we're most intrigue...
That's Nothing: We Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom
Well, it's not exactly the greatest all-time bathroom stall story, but hey, it's Seattle, not Tampa: We'll take what we can get....
We Say Replace Theismann With Borat Right Now
The Borat movie — Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — is almost here, which pleases us greatly. We're kind of confounded by the release schedule, though. There was a premiere in Los Angeles on Monday (Defamer, of course, was there), and there was o...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Utah Jazz
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Northwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlanta Hawks
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we begin the Southeast Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: NOOCH!
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
When Baseball Players Are Asked: 'You Have Haramph Like My Friend, Can I Touch?'
Like many of you, we suspect, we cannot wait for the new Borat movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Therefore, we present this old Borat clip, as he visits a Savannah Sand Gnats minor league baseball game, with predictable results. No matter how...
Recruiting Makes College Sports Double Plus Unfun
As a fan of college athletics, we will confess to being depressed by the process of recruiting. Some fans are obsessed with it, subscribing to scouting services and reading tea leaves, analyzing every vocal inflection of a 17-year-old kid as if it's going to be an insight to their deeper mindset. (T...
Your Friday Cross Dressing/She-Male Roundup
If you know us, you're familiar with our usual gripe: It's getting so that you can't stage a simple dragon-boat racing competition these days without someone breaking the rules by cross dressing. From Reuters:...
If Only There Were A Logical Time To Drink It ...
You know, we were fully aware that the Oklahoma-Texas football rivalry — if you missed it in all the playoff business roaming around these parts, they play this weekend — was a pretty big deal, but we'd always felt it lacked the critical component of beer....
Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....
Madden Curse Soon To Attack Rest Of Humanity
You know, all told, Ray Lewis never actually suffered from the Madden Curse: People always forget nothing happened to him that year....
Over There, Belichick Should Break Up LOTS Of Marriages
If you're a Patriots fan who just hasn't had every opportunity and vessel through which to express your undying devotion, worry not: You can now wear Tom Brady's jersey in Chinese....
"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....
In A Way, It's A Step Forward For Isiah
Some good news for Isiah Thomas (seen here having dinner with Dennis Rodman at an Outback Steakhouse): He is actually able to establish a functioning work environment! Who knew?!...
That's Not A Fun Way To Lose
Saturday was an outstanding day for college football — particularly if you went to Syracuse, grumble grumble — but it was not so pleasant for Oklahoma fans, who, as this video rather clearly shows, were screwed out of a big road victory against Oregon. It's funny, because one wouldn't think it would...
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
You Know This Took About Eight Days To Film, And He Kept Pinching PA's Asses
We'd like to thank The Basketball Jones for this arcane piece of beauty, featuring the Fresh Prince playing an imaginary game against a guy who just know he'll try to sign someday....
The 49ers Should Probably Just Quit
The Football Outsiders have finished up their position-by-position rankings over at Fox Sports, and arranged the Top 5 and Bottom 5 in each category in one convenient location....