al Page 6293 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
1st Round, Second Overall: Rams Take Chris Long
Did you know that Chris Long is Howie Long's son? No kidding! The media really has been doing a swell job keeping that tidbit under wraps. Yes, Long is the scion of the Hall of Fame lineman and impeccably-coiffed FOX analysis android. Howie Long was so spectacular in his playing days that a pass ru...
Dolphins Take Jake Long First Overall
Greetings, fellow podium gazers! It's great to be spending Saturday afternoon with you and not my family. And what better way to kick things off but with some four day old news! When we last saw Bill Parcells, he was sitting in the owner's box watching the Dolphins' final game, looking like a late...
Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...
Passersby Were Amazed By The Unusually Large Amounts Of Blood
This bloodied but unbowed runner is Alicia Follmar of Stanford, who took a spill at the start of the women's distance medley at the prestigious Penn Relays. She quickly recovered and managed to finish third....
Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....
Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!
Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose betwe...
Break Out The Head Paint: Sixers Win <i>Again</i>!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would be getting more sleep this weekend if the destruction of the Suns wasn't keeping him up at night. When he's not hating the absolute living hell out of the Spurs, he can be found stabbing his Tony Parker voodoo doll at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Wait...w...
March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......
Now You See T.O., Now You Don't
• Terrell Owens, vanishing from porn films. • Santonio Holmes is packing some heat. • Butterfingers for a Red Sox fan. • Jeff Passan and Terry Pettis. • Topless ladies (kinda) at Rockies games. • It's Jeff Reed night. • Yankees-Red Sox fight! • As spirited a defense of the NFL Draft as we could imag...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the Great Jell-o Snack Pack Disaster of 2008 ... • Boxing: Middleweights, Andrey Tsurkan vs. Jesse Feliciano, at New York (9:30 p.m., ET). The return of El Rayo! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Eastern Conference first round, Game 3, Detroit Pistons at Philadelphia 76ers (7 p.m...
All Right, All Right, We'll Watch The Draft
OK, so Drew absolutely convinced us: We're actually gonna watch a little bit of the draft this weekend. And not just because we're crossing our fingers that our Buzzsaw will end up with the Illini's Rashard Mendenhall. Though we are....
Previewing The Stars-Sharks
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Series Previews are being brought to you by Melt Your Face Off, where hockey is the official religion but all the editors are atheists. MYFO's Weed Against Speed breaks down the Dallas/San Jose series....
NBA Playoffs: A Friday Night Viewer's Guide
It's Friday. Take a break from thinking for yourself and let me tell you what to pay attention to during tonight's games....
So, Will Anybody Draft Troubled Tommy Blake?
One of the best stories featured on ESPN's Schaaptastic E:60 show was Michael Smith's profile of troubled Texas Christian University defensive lineman Tommy Blake. Blake, who at one point in his college career was on the fast-track to the NFL, derailed early his senior year. He was a no-show for man...
Now, Majerle's Miffed At TheDirty.com
After yesterday's legal parry with the lawyer representing Terrell Owens in his futile fight to de-Dirty.com himself from internet memory, another sports figure has also threatened legal action against the website: Thunder Dan Majerle....
Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...
Anyone Can Throw A Knuckleball!
We've always thought if there were a mainstream sports breakthrough for a woman, a sport in which a woman could compete on the same field as men, it would be as a knuckleball pitcher in Major League Baseball. It doesn't require strength, and you need to be smart. And not just women can do it: Old me...