alc Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Burger King Sued Over Fed-Up Stabbin'-Ass Manager
Cold onion rings. A peeved customer. A murderous knife-wielding manager. I swear, if you've been to one Burger King, you've been to 'em all. Except you probably haven't been to any of them, since nobody goes to Burger King. Nobody, that is, but Robert Deyapp, who got beat up by a store empl...
P.K. Subban, Tactical Farter
The Canadiens defenseman sat down for an interview on Quebec radio talk show Tout le Monde en Parle, and presumably said a whole bunch of interesting things. But forget that—here's what he said about farting on goalies:...
Finnish Soccer Announcer Blows Gasket When Team Scores, Wins Promotion
There is no sweeter song extolling the virtues of a promotion fight than this Finnish announcer's guttural screams of pure delight after FC Santa Claus scored the deciding goal, guaranteeing them a spot in the third tier next season. Quick, someone give Fox Soccer this guy's number....
Here's Mike Smith Digging Deep In His Nose And Plucking A Fat Booger
It couldn't have felt very good, watching his Falcons get pummeled by the Vikings yesterday, but head coach Mike Smith had to feel some satisfaction from his nose-picking performance. Watch him dig all the way up in there:...
UMass Video Board Falls Over During Third Quarter
UMass took on Bowling Green in its first game on-campus in three years today, and it would appear they haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Early in the third quarter, the video board fell over. Unfortunately, there's no video of the actual fall, but we can see the board hanging limp in the afterma...
Hey Look, It's The Sad Cocktail Grenades You Always Wanted
Evidently these have been around for a while, but they're new to me. BuzzBallz: Regret In a Can. BuzzBallz: Liquid Cold-Sore. BuzzBallz: Convex Around the Sides, Like Your Abdomen When Fluid Accumulates In Your Peritoneal Cavity as a Result of the Liver Cirrhosis You Get From Living the Kind of L...
We'll Never See Another Player Quite Like Devin Hester
No one would've blamed you if, before watching him take a reverse to the house and then Prime Time his way to a record-setting 20th return TD last night, you had forgotten that Devin Hester was even in the league at all. It's been a few years since he's done anything notable, but his brief re-emerge...
Falcons-Buccaneers Highlights, As Called By Wrestling Legend Jim Ross
Atlanta beat Tampa Bay 56-14 tonight in a rout one might charitably call a "slobberknocker." As befitting any time a team gets truly embarrassed on the field of play, we've taken great calls from wrestling legend Jim Ross and applied them to tonight's highlights. Take it away, J.R.!...
Is This Celebrating Falcons Fan Grabbing Her Friend's Dick?
Many of you believe this Falcons fan's grabbing her friend's junk to celebrate a first down by Julio Jones. I'm a little hesitant, though. Watch the guy's face; he doesn't flinch. Wouldn't he at least react in the slightest way if she grabbed his dick? On the other hand, what else could she be grabb...
Devin Hester Breaks NFL Record With 62-Yard Punt Return Touchdown
Devin Hester broke his tie with Deion Sanders atop the NFL's list of all-time return touchdown scorers with a 62-yard punt return tonight against Tampa Bay, the 20th of his career....
Cops: Vols Fan Made Teen Son Drink Until He Passed Out
A Tennessee man was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a child and aggravated child abuse and neglect for allegedly making his 15-year-old son play a drinking game with him as they watched the Volunteers' game against Oklahoma Saturday....
Is Manchester United's Newest Savior A Fraud?
Last summer, Colombian striker Radamel Falcao arrived in Monte Carlo as AS Monaco's new signing and savior from Atlético Madrid, wearing a jacket and shirt combination that all but summed up his brief time on the Côte d'Azur. With the beautiful French Riviera in the background, the salmon jacket, ...
Come Correct To P.K. Subban About His Corsi Or Don't Come At All
The NHL is holding its annual player tour, in which it drags many of its top stars to New York for days of interviews and appearances. ESPN's Craig Custance took advantage of the opportunity (Insider link) to ask players what they thought of their own unconventional analytics, aka fancystats. ...
A Striker For You! Another For You!: Your Transfer Deadline Day Roundup
Another crazy transfer deadline has came and went, and after a couple tense hours of waiting, it appears most of the biggest moves, like Radamel Falcao to Manchester United, were squeezed under before the curtain fell. Here's a recap of the biggest moves completed yesterday:...
Report: Manchester City Join Arsenal, Real Madrid In Falcao Sweepstakes
We are in the final throes of what has already been a hectic summer transfer window, and it now looks likely that at least one more huge name will be on the move, with Falcao possibly strengthening an already way-too-good Man City attack....
Anxious About The World's Most Dominant Gymnast? Blame It On Rio.
A year and a half ago, Simone Biles was a last-minute substitute at the 2013 American Cup. There she placed second behind 2011 junior national champion Katelyn Ohashi after losing an early lead with a fall from the beam. At that meet, Biles couldn't win with a fall. But at this weekend's nationa...
Jordan Subban Scores Spinning Alley-Oop Shootout Goal On Malcolm Subban
Here's Canucks D prospect Jordan Subban putting a beaut past his brother Malcolm, a goalie in the Bruins system, at a shootout competition at a weeklong private camp in Toronto. Seems P.K.'s not the only Subban who thinks style points should count....
Georgia Football Player Joins A Book Club With Some Very Nice Ladies
Here's a cute story get you through the shit tsunami that's been the last few days. Georgia receiver Malcolm Mitchell is a literature fiend who's joined a book club in Athens with a bunch of welcoming women....