alc Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Where You Talk About Tim Wakefield Soft-Tossing The Red Sox Back In It
Even though the Red Sox are in all too familiar territory, most sports-related "experts" think their potential to stage another comeback this year is highly unlikely. This pervasive negativity is due in most part to Tim Wakefield having the unfortunate role of stopper this time around. Wakefield, as...
Tampa Bay Fans; Not Especially Coordinated
So what are the odds that the only person wearing a Rays jersey in the Monster seats at Fenway would end up catching Evan Longoria's home run ball in the third inning on Monday? Here's Michael Aguis, shown here trying to, I don't know, punch the ball? Anyway he ended up with it after his even goofie...
Evan Longoria's Not Making a Lot of Amigos at ESPNDeportes
Nice catch by Shysterball, about a minor controversy from Evan Longoria's Eva Longoria-filled interview with Big League Stew's Dave Brown earlier this month. It stemmed from this question, where Brown pithily asked who on the team should not sport a Rayhawk: ...
ALCS Game One Live Blog: Red Sox Vs. Rays
It's Friday night. What better time than to drink away your stock market losses and vaguely remember which AL East team dominated the first game of a curiously exciting ALCS. The pitchers are Daisuke "Dice-K" Matsuzaka for Bawston and James "Scot" Shields for St. Tampasburg. The talkers are TBS's Ch...
Sox Fans To Rays Fans: I'll See Your Landing Strip and Raise You A Brazilian
Yesterday, female Rays fans garnered national attention for their fan solidarity through a Rayhawk bikini wax, but Red Sox fans, undaunted by the plucky gesture, are planning a pubic counterstrike. Bugs and Cranks picked up a Boston Craig's List ad which reveals the plan of attack: ...
Curt Schilling's Doctor Thinks Boston Could Use Another Arm Right Now
You didn't think a little thing not throwing a single pitch this season was going to keep Curt Schilling's name out the ALCS headlines, did you? The Boston Red Sox have been preparing for Game 1 against the Rays without the assistance of their ace starting pitcher, but his orthopedic surgeon thought...
You're Not A True Fan Until You're Willing To Get A Bikini Wax For Your Team
This Tampa Bay mohawk craze was good clean fun at first, but you knew it wasn't going to just end with guys shaving their heads. The women were feeling left out, so now they're getting mohawks of their own ... um, down there. Yes, it's the Rayhawk bikini wax, and the gals are lining up for 'em. Hey,...
ALCS Preview: Rays Vs. Red Sox
It is perhaps a clear indication that I drink a bit more than I should that, when I saw that the Rays and the Red Sox had both clinched on the same night, I thought, "Whew, good. Now one team won't be more hungover than the other one in Game 1." Hey, sometimes these things matter. I have to speak o...
John Lackey Will Reverse Earth's Orbit And Keep Replaying This Game Until Angels Win
So for those scoring at home, Boston's 3-2, walkoff victory on Monday was the third time that the Red Sox have eliminated the Angels from the division series (2004 and 2007 were the others), a fact that did not sit well with LA starter John Lackey. In fact, Lackey insisted after the game that Boston...
Red Sox Squeeze Into ALCS
Not even Rally Monkey's shocking murder earlier in the game could keep the Angels from setting themselves up to win Game 4 of the ALDS, with Reggie Willits occupying third base with one out in the top of the ninth. But then, a botched squeeze bunt, resulting Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek's ass tag o...
NFL Season Previews: Atlanta Falcons
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, o...
Before The Live Blog: Pour Out A Little Splash From The Mini-Keg Tonight For ICCC President Robert Paxton
You may recall on Monday when I posted a DUAN! story about Iowa Central Community College president Robert Paxton's ridiculous boat party pictures that were published in the Des Moines Register. The photos caused quite a stir in sleepy central Iowa academia. Unfortunately, Paxton's contention that t...
College Football Previews: #3 Ohio State
Today's preview is brought to us by Matt from Buckeye Commentary. We're just two days away from kickoff. Is your blood not pounding at the thought of Oregon State-Stanford? STRENGTHS Stiff-arm delivering running back? Check. Best cover corner in college football? Check. Sick linebackers and the nat...
This Man Isn't Doing Much To Help Negative Community College Stereotypes Or Mini-Keg Sales
This has absolutely no real sports affiliation whatsoever, but it is suitable for a late Monday DUAN! post. (Possibly.) The above photo is of Iowa State Community College President Robert Paxton whose questionable decision to spend the 4th of July weekend partying with his 19-year-old son and some v...
Breaking Down College Football's Championship Futures Market
Future bets are out for college football. Updated ones at least. For odds to win the national championship and over/under on wins for the season. Now that we’re about six weeks from kickoff some of these propositions start to get pretty interesting....
College Football Opening Night Conspires to Sink Obama
Proving that no angle can be left unexamined when it comes to politics, Thursday night football games are now the Democrat’s enemy at their National Convention. Because Obama’s convention speech is the same night as the opening of college football season. Uh-oh, a Democratic scheduler was just decap...
Bonds Perjury Charges Breed, Multiply, Threaten To Overrun Small Town
One reason that no team wants to take a chance on signing Barry Bonds: The perjury counts from his BALCO grand jury testimony seem to be splitting like amoebas. On Monday he had four counts of perjury, and on Tuesday it suddenly became 14. As any biology teacher will tell you, that's reproduction by...
Zero To Three In Six Seconds
Somewhere, Neal Ball and Bill Wambsganss are smiling (which is creepy, because they're dead). They finally get to welcome another member into the Cleveland Unassisted Triple Play Club, as Asdrubal Cabrera made the magic happen on Monday night against the Blue Jays. It was the 14th unassisted triple ...
Yo, Canadian
Apparently some hopped-up Habs fans thought they would take their trash-talking and intimidation techniques to new heights by desecrating the fabled Rocky statue just before one of the Canadiens and Flyers games. The culprit is this pig-masked individual, who appears to be part of some wacky Canadi...
1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice
The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone name...