ale Page 252 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

Tells Us Something We Don't Know, Anonymous Sign Maker
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...

Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend (Again)
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by pretty much just owning these playoffs. He's like some amazing mythical creature!...

A-Rod News From The 'You Can't Make This Stuff Up' Department...
Like I do every day, when I want a dose of hard-hitting sports news, I turn to US Weekly. The periodical has not one but two bits of information regarding our heroic, purple-lipped, World Series-strikeout machine....

Fight For Your Right To Fight
Interesting couple weeks around these parts. The distractions are so prevalent that it's easy to forget that, lo, your team is in the World Series....

Send Us Your Lame Sports-O-Ween Costumes
Tomorrow is All Hallows' Eve and you may be tempted to put on a sport-themed costume in an effort to win candy and prizes. You should seriously rethink that strategy. Sorry, but there can only be one Baby Mangino....

It's #Awesome, #Baby (But Needs More Caps Lock)
Just so you know—Dick Vitale is now on Twitter. Your little "social media" playpen doesn't seem so cool anymore, does it? [Twitter]...

Phillies Female Fan Offers Sexual Favors In Exchange For WS Tickets
These stories seem to pop up every year, most of them on Craig's List ads. It figures a Phillies fan would be the one who actually gets busted for it. Come on, Mom! [PhillyBurbs, MyFoxPhilly]...

Larry Johnson Meltdown Arrives Later Than Expected This Season (Update)
The Kansas City Chiefs are a disaster, obviously, but look on the bright side—it took permanently disgruntled RB Larry Johnson seven whole games to launch an embarrassing tirade against his head coach. I think that's improvement!...

Yankees' Loss Inspires Frantic Search For New Small-Sample-Size Scapegoat
The Yankees lost 7-6 yesterday, and if it wasn't Girardi's fault, it was Burnett's fault or Hughes' fault or Swisher's fault, three men demonstrating an unmanly lack of clutch, unlike the New York media's new darling of clutch, Alex Rodriguez....

Reggie Miller Trades Restraining Orders With Alex von Furstenberg
The NBA All-Star and the son of the famous fashion designer are still fighting over a girl, even though the rest of the planet stopped caring about these three kids months ago. We've moved on to better scandals, thank you!...

Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by making everyone forget how much they hate him. Take his hand and he'll lead you there.......

Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...

The Hunt For Mr. October
A-Rod, through 42 postseason games: .291, 25 RBIs, 9 HRs, 46 hits, 158 at-bats, not a True Yankee, not clutch. Reggie Jackson, through his first 42: .265, 19 RBIs, 7 HRs, 40 hits, 151 at-bats, True Yankee, clutch. [Village Voice]...

Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....

Ice Dancing With The Goons
For reasons not yet explained by science, Dancing With The Stars is a phenomenal television success. But what if you added the possibility of dangerous neck slashings and more black eyes? Wouldn't you watch that even harder?...

Apparently "Season-Long" Suspension Means Only The Nonconference Season
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Arena Football Is Back!
Your wails and lamentations have been heard, people! A year without indoor football is not a year worth living through, which is why the football gods—the really short ones—have resurrected arena football and saved your life....