ale Page 254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You May Be Taller, But You're Still Beneath Him
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
Well, we had to nominate one person whose very name makes you groan, and if we had picked Brett Favre, Drew would have never stopped stabbing me in the eye....
Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...
"Assault In The Ring" Reminds You To Hate Boxing Forever
You may have already seen the HBO documentary "Assault In The Ring," but if you haven't yet, put it on your to-do list. Just in case you've forgotten that boxing is filled, top to bottom, with unbelievable scumbags....
Arena Football Will Not Come Back To You
The president of the Tampa Bay Storm announced (via Facebook) that the AFL "will not be returning." Probably ever. Surprisingly, not playing the 2009 season didn't help to turn things around! Does this mean they file for Chapter 5.5 bankruptcy?...
LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....
Cynthia Not The Only Thing "Notably Absent" From This Scenario, Big Media
TKACIK: how are we supposed to have an opinion on kate hudson and arod PAREENE: hahaha i don't know TKACIK: apparently the news here is that "very public smooching puts to rest rumors that Rodriguez, 33, and Hudson are just close friends" PAREENE: i know how often i had heard the rumor that they wer...
Goldie Hawn's Daughter Officially Dating Blue-Lipped Boli User
They were caught neckin' at the first annual Yankee family picnic. A-Rod's guest at the next Yankee family picnic: Patrick Fugit. [DailyNews]...
Alex Rodriguez Learns Painful Lesson About Lending Out Your Car
A-Rod gave the keys to his Suburban to lady friend Kate Hudson and then her lady friend promptly smashed the hell out of it. Now he'll have to throw it away and buy a new one! [Celebrity-Gossip]...
GET HAMMERED! Tad Kubler Of The Hold Steady On The Deadcast
This week's Deadcast guest is Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler (Listen here, iTunes here.) DOUBLE WHISKY COKE NO ICE....
Look! It's Godzilla's Helmet!
"He was in great humor, which is always when he's the best, most likable Alex," Selena Roberts wrote in A-Rod. And that was before he turned a helmet into a wedding bouquet and himself into a desperate bachelorette....
Blackhawks GM Fired For Not Following Example Set By Cubs
Dale Tallon took over a terrible post-lockout Blackhawks franchise, combined shrewd drafting and solid free agent picks to build a young, exciting contender and was rewarded for his efforts with a swift kick in the pants. That's the Chicago way....
Robert Lunn Leaves Austria With His Dignity (Mostly) Intact
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UConn. He graduated in 2008 and was playing professional football in Pörtschach, Austria. Sadly, he's back in the U.S. now, so this is his final column....
Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]...
The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?!...
ERIN ANDREWS HIT BY FOUL BALL GOES TO HOSPITAL WITH CHIN BRUISE (NOT A EUPHEMISM) BUT SHE'S OKAY (UPDATE!)
Gentlemen, brace yourselves: From TMZ: "Andrews — who serves as a sideline reporter for ESPN — was struck in the chin by a foul ball hit by New York Mets player Alex Cora during the 4th inning."...
Swoosh Denies LBJ Dunk Cover-Up, Unconvincingly
The flash, apparently official: Nike is now making the implausible case that the two hapless videographers at the LeBron James Skills Academy had flouted a longstanding, super-inviolate "no videotaping" commandment and therefore had to be frisked....
Live-Streaming The Love Life And After-Life Of Steve McNair
McNair's best friend Robert Gaddy says, despite all glaring indications, Mechelle and Steve weren't getting for a divorce. Nope, the happy couple was buying a new home together. Now stop asking him about the 20-year-old girlfriend....
Lisa Leslie: Expect Bricks
The Superstars was only an hour this week! (Stupid Michael Jackson tributes.) But could they pack 90 minutes of excitement into just one tiny action-packed primetime block? Who likes missed lay-ups?...
Someone Else Actually Wants To Buy The Cubs?
Hold the phone, North Siders. Wrigley Field and its tenants have supposedly been sold for $900 million, but a new suitor has stepped in to Cubsblock the Ricketts. Will the team slip through their fingers like a groundball to short?...