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Cockblocked By Joe Mauer!

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase two heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline

Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...

Someone Is Shopping A Video Of Rasheed Wallace (Maybe) Fighting Some Dude In A White Plains Parking Lot

And we know this because we got an email about it from a tipster at 11:17 this morning:...

Mitch Albom Is The Meat In Baseball's Dumbfuck Stew

I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mi...

We Love You, Verne Lundquist, But It's Time To Go

On this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, Josh Levin makes a simple, fair case for why cuddly Verne Lundquist, CBS's lead college football play-by-play announcer, ought to call it a career. Lundquist makes a lot of mistakes on air. Levin captures many of them here. Listen up:...

Did Michael Irvin Confront A Heckler At Last Night's Game? [UPDATE: He Did Not]

The picture above was sent to us by a tipster shortly after the conclusion of last night's Bills-Dolphins game. That appears to be the NFL Network's Michael Irvin attempting to enter the stands, and he doesn't look too happy. Here is what our tipster had to say about the photo:...

An NFL Punter To Hall Of Fame Voters: Ray Guy Was Great At His Job. You Suck At Yours.

Dear Pro Football Hall of Fame selection committee members,...

This Canadian High School's Punt Return-Punt For A Touchdown Is Simply Incredible

Bravo, Canada. You've managed to take a relatively mundane part of American football and kick it up a few hundred notches. Punting back a punt for a touchdown? Sheer genius....

Michael Irvin Brought Out The PDA For Bills Running Back C.J. Spiller

The noisefest that is the Thursday Night Football post-game show on NFL Network usually proceeds like an unfunny version of TNT's Inside The NBA: full of wackiness, but lacking the charm or anything memorable. You can usually rely on Michael Irvin to do something out of the ordinary, though, and he...

Offensive Touchdowns Are So Overrated: Bills-Dolphins, In Two GIFs

Bills 19, Dolphins 14: Oh, this game. From the get-go, it didn't look very promising that these AFC East foes would light up the scoreboard, although a nifty special teams moment early on gave up all some brief flicker of hope....

Deadspin Up All Night: You're Gonna Make It

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin, and of Deadspin MVP Mike Trout. Erik and Tim will be here as soon as they're done counting ballots....

Here's Video Of Allen Iverson Throwing A Football Approximately 60 Yards

This video of Iverson airing a football out 60 yards is old, but it's still cool, so hush. If Andy Reid's looking for a quarterback solution to keep his coaching gig with the Eagles, The Answer is right there....

Here's That Alabama Fan's Video Game Meltdown, Set To The Game Footage

Monday, we brought you this, which was amazing: an XBox live gamer freaking out in his game as he watched Bama lose to Texas A&M. Now someone has helpfully set the audio to the actual game footage. Still hilarious....

Mark Buehrle's Pit Bull Is Illegal In Toronto

Alex Anthopoulos thought he hit paydirt, ripping off the miserable Miami Marlins for most of their good players in Jeffrey Loria's latest fire sale. This sabermetric-darling GM, however, is about to learn that the stats can't tell you everything you need to know about a player—e.g. whether that pla...

This Is How The World Wound Up With That Famous Shirtless Mug Shot Of Johnny Manziel

We told you the other day all about Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, including his little arrest last June, when he was charged with three misdemeanors after a late-night fight in College Station. In a nutshell, Manziel got in a fight, a College Station municipal police officer broke up the fig...

Dolphins-Bills Is "A Test Of Manhood," Reporter Writes In Earnest

Here is the Sun-Sentinel's Chris Perkins on tonight's Dolphins-Bills game:...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Antawn Jamison, Captain Of Failure

A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Have Head Injuries Actually Hurt The NFL's Popularity?

Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Marshall student writes that the school should stop commemorating the 1970 plane crash. Reaction follows as expected....

Watch DeAndre Jordan Pretend To Fart On People

Thanks to The NOC, Clippers center DeAndre Jordan has a prank show on YouTube called "Got 'Em." This is a good thing, because it has led to the creation of videos like the one above, in which Jordan uses a fart machine to make people really uncomfortable at a Venice Beach skatepark. We're just sur...