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Everyone Hates Everyone In Baseball
The Reds' ace called out the hitters. Fred Wilpon talked shit about everyone. And now Brian Fuentes is talking shit about manager Bob Geren to the media....

Ja'Juan Story Sincerely Regrets Telling Everyone His Doodoo Story
Last week, we brought you the charming story of Florida football recruit Ja'Juan Story, who abandoned all interview protocol and told Gator Country that he prepares for games by "taking a doodoo" and listening to Katy Perry songs. Today, we're sorry to report that he has reneged on his claims, and w...

MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....

Secret Service Can't Protect George W. Bush From Foul Ball
They'll take a bullet for the former president, but they can't save him from a lazy foul pop into the box seats in Arlington. Neither could A.J. Pierzynski:...

Your Mavericks/Thunder Game Three Open Thread
Dallas and Oklahoma City resume their NBA Western Conference Championship amid cover-ups relating to Russell Westbrook-gate and worries about the Mavericks's "suddenly shaky defense."...

You Survived The Rapture. So Now What?
If you're reading this on the East Coast, that means we survived The Rapture which Harold Camping pegged for 6 p.m. in each time zone....

It Was Totally Not Brendan Haywood's Fault That Kevin Durant Posterized Him, Says Brendan Haywood
Remember this dunk? Of course you do. It was awesome. Brendan Haywood, whose greatest skill has traditionally been being marginally better than Erick Dampier or Etan Thomas, remembers it too....

Russell Westbrook's Quarter On The Bench Is A Nice Reminder That The NBA Has Coaches
Here's the play, courtesy of Sebastian Pruiti over at the NBA Playbook, that allegedly motivated Scott Brooks to bench his starting point guard for the entire fourth quarter last night. It was, initially, a nerve-racking move to take in: you expect a young team to fold in on itself without its you...

Cockblocked By A Rape Joke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

A Statistical Analysis Of "Macho Man" Randy Savage's Halfway Decent Professional Baseball Career
Randy Poffo spent four season in the minors, playing in the Cardinals and Reds systems, and never rising above Single-A ball. He put down his bat for good in 1975 and picked up a steel chair and became known to the world as Randy Savage, his brief and unremarkable baseball career amounting to nothin...

Bear Plays Tennis
The Deadspin tips line received an email today with this subject: Bear Playing Tennis. It was a thrilling possibility. A bear playing tennis? You just don't see that everyday. We were prepared to make a lot of half-assed rapture jokes about it....

Ranking The 10 End-Of-The-Human-Race Scenarios
The Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow, and this is roughly the 17th time in my life that all of us were supposed to die according to some kind of vague, medieval prediction. All of these Rapture predictions, of course, are born of hubris. Everyone wants to believe that they will be alive during the ...

The Photo Of Kevin Durant's Dunk Will Replace The Taj Gibson Poster That Replaced Bruce Lee Posters Across America
With apologies to Taj Gibson, who replaced Bruce Lee just four days ago, this posterized Kevin Durant dunk over Brendan Haywood (click here to see the full view) should now be required to hang above every American mantlepiece in felt-tip form....

Your NBA Western Conference Finals Open Thread
In advance of Game Two of the NBA Western Conference Championship series, DFW.com was kind enough to post 136 "fan photos" from Game One between the Dallas Mavericks and the Oklahoma City Thunder. They're something to behold....

ESPN And Publisher Alike: None Of These Guys Are Having Any Fun
Not two days since the embargo was lifted, the giant dragon fart of a book known as Those Guys Have All the Fun has left both publisher and subject alike strategizing about a new defense. Yes, ESPN officially threw together a semi-emergency town hall meeting ("tent"!!!!) earlier this afternoon for s...

Ja'Juan Story's Doodoo Story
This week, just by sharing two details about his pregame ritual on the site Gator Country, incoming Florida receiver Ja'Juan Story became the most interesting freshman football player in the nation. This has been going around a bit now, but we couldn't let it pass by without giving it our full appro...

John Wall Also Knew The Cavs Were Going To Win The Lottery. HMM.
TrueHoop's Henry Abbott asks that we take a second look at this throwaway line from Harvey Araton's piece on Kyrie Irving in the New York Times today: "Tuesday night, John Wall — last year's first pick by Washington — whispered 'Cleveland' in [Irving's] ear before the cameras turned on." Hmm. HMM. [...

The Decision About LeBron's <em>Decision</em> Was An Orgy Of Self-Interest, With Jim Gray On Top
There's a brief section about The Decision in Those Guys Have All the Fun, and if the details aren't exactly fresh, the takeaway is somewhat new: Everyone involved was using everyone else for their own ends to produce what amounted to a massive orgy that they all came to regret the next day. And LeB...

Plane Banner Insults Are Now Played Out In English Soccer
Last Sunday, West Ham played Wigan away in a battle to avoid relegation. Things didn't work out so well for the Hammers. Rival fans from Millwall chose the very moment that Wigan sealed West Ham's fate to fly a plane over the stadium with a mocking banner. Avram Grant, by the way, is the West Ham ma...

What It's Like When The Media Circle Their Prey: A Collection Of Jim Tressel/OSU Public Records Requests
Back in March, Yahoo! broke the story that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew his players were selling memorabilia in violation of NCAA regulations eight months before the school claimed it learned of the scheme. A media scrum ensued. A few days later, we sent Ohio State a public records req...