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A Glimpse Of Our Impossible Future: NFL Releases 2011 Schedule
The NFL announced its schedule for next season today, rolling out a slate of games that's supposed to excite us, even though they probably won't happen. Just like Mommy and Daddy telling you you'll still see all your same friends, as that Bekins truck rolls away, taking your childhood with it....

How To Deal With Crappy Refereeing: Quit The League
Mark Cuban take note: three teams in the Premier Basketball League have left the organization after some decidedly one-sided refereeing in the finals....

Bob Knight Continues His Solo Defamation Crusade Against John Calipari
Bob Knight can't bullwhip his players anymore, and so over the past few years he's redirected his unmitigated anger about college athletics. It now rests squarely on the head of Kentucky basketball pimp John Calipari. On Saturday, Knight spoke to some Hoosiers at a banquet in Wabash, Ind. and claime...

Is Batman REALLY A Superhero?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering whales, video games, superheroes and more....

Blood On The Walls: Choice Bits From Blazers Owner Paul Allen's New Book
Paul Allen of Microsoft fame and fortune just published a memoir called "Idea Man." Chapter 14 is about the Blazers and basketball. In it, Allen claims that he beat Clyde Drexler and Kiki Vandeweghe in a game of HORSE. He says his friendship with The Glide affected his judgment and caused him to for...

We're Not Sayin', We're Just Sayin'
The Mavericks are 2-16 in playoff games officiated by Danny Crawford. They are 48-41 in the same timeframe without Crawford on the court....

He's Not Signaling How Many Outs Remain
Your morning roundup for April 19, the day we pre-ordered our Iggy Pop action figure....

Help Us Subvert MLB Video: Submit Your Highlights To Become The Official Team Deadspin
We're truly inspired by how many of you are interested in mocking the MLB video policy by reenacting its highlights each week. We've heard from volunteers from T-ball teams, high school teams, plenty of "beer-drinking softball teams," and one from a guy who isn't "allowed within 200 yards of a schoo...

That Nude Photo Of Skylar Diggins Is Not Actually Skylar Diggins
Your first warning sign was probably the description of the explicit photo as "going around the Internet." You see that phrase, and you should put your bullshit detectors on. But Diggins herself took to Twitter to squash those rumors once and for all....

We Need Youth Baseball Teams To Reenact MLB Highlights For Us Because MLB Hates Its Fans (And Probably Children, Too)
We've been playing a fun game with the MLB video team for the past few weeks. It goes something like this: We post a highlight video from a game; they promptly email us with an informal cease-and-desist note; we take down the video and complain about it. ...

UGA Recruits Rob UGA Locker Room On UGA Recruiting Visit
We love this story, and you might too depending on your feelings toward SEC football and certain programs. Three people have been arrested in connection with stolen property from the Georgia locker room, and police say the suspects are recruits. That sound you just heard was the exploding heads of t...

Listen To Deadspin's Emma Carmichael on NPR's "All Things Considered"
Deadspin's Emma Carmichael joined NPR's All Things Considered on April 17, 2011 to talk about the impact robo reporters have on sports reporting. Listen here....

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

The Binder That Ties You To A Game
My junior year of college, my roommate Scot played Dr. J vs. Larry Bird on an Apple II, the game's original platform, always taking Bird. Scot had a Three Ring Binder. After each score he'd put down that boxy joystick… [Kotaku] ...

The 2010-11 Washington Wizards, In One Handy Microcosm
JaVale McGee on John Wall's performance as team captain: "I didn't know he was the captain. But, since you said it…I really didn't notice it I guess." [Via Kogod]...

The Greatest Facebook Fail Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Royals Grounds Crew Worker Encounters The Steamrolling Terror Of The Tarp
Luckily, "they saw it," the announcer declares — but not until after the Kansas City grounds crew rolled a giant killer tarp over their eager coworker's body. He survived the cylindrical attack with at least a trace of his pride....

A Bunch Of People Came Up With $25K So UConn Basketball Players Can Ride On Parade Floats After All
Yesterday, Mike Zaleski, executive director of the Hartford Business Improvement District, said if he couldn't get his fingers wrapped around $25K by Friday, there would be no parade to commemorate the victors of one of the worst college-basketball championship games in the history of round object...

Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...

Wally Backman Verbally Assaults His Team, Part 158
Wally's back, thanks to the creators of Playing For Peanuts, who sent over this clip of the former Mets player (then manager of the South Georgia Peanuts, currently manager of the Binghamton Mets) sharing his thoughts with his team after a loss. One thing we've certainly learned this week: Wally l...