all Page 1932 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

When European Basketball Fans Get Excited, They Light Their Stadiums On Fire
Here we were thinking VCU fans were having "riots" last week, but they're nothing compared to Panathinaikos BC fans. In this European basketball game last Thursday against Barcelona, Greek basketball fans torched their own stadium. Yes, what you see above is a basketball game — not a race riot....

Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...

UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...

Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Your UConn-Butler NCAA Championship Open Thread
This one's for a considerable amount of the Tostitos. Will it be the likable Bulldogs, swiftly moving from giant-killers to giants? Or the Huskies, who haven't lost since we still considered the Big East fearsome?...

Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

Your Final Four Open Thread
In the evening's first Final Four game, the Virginia Commonwealth University Rams tip-off against the Butler University Bulldogs around 6:09 p.m....

Invisible Line Helps Oregon Win A Sub-NIT Championship
The Oregon Ducks won the College Basketball Invitational tournament (presented by Zebra Pen) last night. The CBI's "history page" goes all the way back to 2008 and notes how VCU won it last year....

The Nationals Extend Their Lead In The Spelling-Fails Sweepstakes
First, they got John Lannan's name wrong on the scoreboards during introductions. Then, they were "honoriing" the heroes of 9/11. Now comes word that the Washengtin Natchonulls broadcast partner shouted outfielder Laynce Nix out as "Lance Nix" on MASN, per tipster James, who offered photographic ev...

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

John Salley Story Corner: A Teammate Has A Disgusting Hookup Failure Of His Own
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: an unnamed Georgia Tech teammate has an unexpected girl problem....

Cockblocked By Cowboys!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Texas HS Baseball Players Charged In Chicken Decapitations
Western Hills High School's baseball team is 7-15 on the season. That's not a very good record. "Change the atmosphere in the clubhouse," old-timey baseball men would say. The team needs some clutch, some grit, some hustle....

“Wait For Iiiiiit.” When Memes And Catchphrases Take Over Your Brain
The other day, I was about to walk out of my place to go do errands or something with my kid. But my kid didn't have her jacket on yet, so she said to me, "Wait for iiiiiit."...

One Day Into The Season, The Nationals Have Had Two Spelling Fails
The Nationals, a team forever cursed by one innocent screw-up, stand ready to be judged at the slightest hint of typographical imperfection. The Nats have yet to plate a runner in this young season, but they're off to a good start in other areas....

Last Night's Lakers-Mavs Game Got A Little Bit Brawl-y
The Lakers and the Mavs kept things interesting in one of the most under-scheduled nights of the NBA season last night: five players were ejected after a shoving match that began with Jason Terry and Steve Blake. The refs sent out two players from each team (Dallas's Terry and Brendan Haywood and ...

Self-Proclaimed Jersey-Chasers Bring UNC Hoopsters To Sorority Formal, Warn Sisters First
Last night was Spring Formal for the UNC-Chapel Hill chapter of the Chi Omega sorority. And three of the lovely ladies landed as dates three of the members of the basketball team: Harrison Barnes, John Henson and Kendall Marshall....