all Page 1954 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...

Explaining The Cam Newton Ruling, As Best We Can
We don't know a heck of a lot right now, since the NCAA and Auburn aren't talking. But we can parse the NCAA's statement and try to break down what happened, and what happens next....

Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...

Cam Newton Ruled Eligible By NCAA
The NCAA has reinstated Newton, after he was secretly declared ineligible yesterday (for procedural purposes after an amateurism violation was determined to have occurred). [NCAA, Birmingham News]...

A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...

Need More Proof The BCS Is Fucked Up? Nevada Cost Themselves $1 Million By Beating Boise St.
By thwarting the Broncos' BCS bowl hopes, the Wolf Pack cost themselves and every WAC team a million dollars each in BCS revenue. We're not ones to encourage immoral and illegal actions, but, yeah, they probably should have just tanked. [Business Insider]...

Bruce Pearl Gets In Amusing Zinger On "Dumbass" Lane Kiffin
Pearl, on his suspendable offenses: "I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook. I miss Lane Kiffin." [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

Can You Jack It In All 50 States? TAKE THE FUNBAG CHALLENGE!
I broke a mirror yesterday. But it wasn't my fault, because the mirror was inside a frame and my wife neglected to tell me that she detached the mirror from the frame. So I picked up the mirror by the frame and it knocked the thing over and it shattered. I argue that whoever is in charge of handing ...

Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...

Sidney Crosby And NHL Special Treatment: Much A-Slew About Nothing?
Last night, Ryan Callahan and Sidney Crosby were jostling for position. Crosby appeared to kick Callahan's skate out from under him. That's called a slew foot, and it's illegal. Callahan was called for interference....

In The Future, Even Robots Will Blog About Athlete Dong
StatSheet, a Durham-based company with only nine employees, is developing a network of sports blogs that run entirely on automated content. Their "robot army" is already producing content for all 345 men's college basketball teams. Be afraid, blogosphere....

Alabama Football Staffer Fired For Playing "Take the Money and Run" Before Iron Bowl
The university announced that the part-time employee was fired for playing "unauthorized" music at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The unauthorized music also happened to be directed at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton....

And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......

The Hater’s Guide To Taylor Swift
Apropos of nothing, can I unsubscribe to Taylor Swift? Is that possible? I'd really like it to be possible....

Canadian Football Player Breaks His Leg Like An American Football Player
Leron Mitchell broke his leg during the Grey Cup last night. It's really awful, but the YouTube description is beautifully poetic: "Leron Mitchell snaps his leg during the CFL championship game. His team also lost." When it rains in Canada, it pours....

Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....

Yeah, This Is The Best Interception We've Ever Seen
While most of the country was being treated to a meaningless Notre Dame-USC game, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State had themselves a barn burner. Unseen by most of the country? This gem: a tag-team interception by State's Broderick Brown and Shaun Lewis....

They Love Boise State Kicker Kyle Brotzman. Or At Least They Pretend To.
In the aftermath of being kicked out of national-championship contention, some Boise State fans created a Facebook page titled "The Bronco Nation Loves Kyle Brotzman." Earlier this morning, 9,570 liked it....

Hockey Player's Face Gets Bloodied While Lady With A Pink BlackBerry Cover Sort Of Watches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Having spent 16 months as a South Carolinian, I might could think USC/Clemson is the best rivalry going. I done seen how severely people turn on people who support the other side, and I revel in its peak-level sadism....