all Page 1969 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, You! You Seem Hateful. Help With The 2010 MLB Playoffs Hater’s Guide
I’m told the baseball playoffs start soon, which means another month of magical October baseball magic magicness is upon us, or however a cunt like Ken Burns describes it....

The Full Duke University "Fuck List" Thesis From A Former Female Student (UPDATE)
Update: Names redacted. Read here. So this is going to be bad. Or good, depending upon where some of the lacrosse, baseball, and tennis players rate on former Blue Devil Karen F. Owen's "Fuck List."...

Bye Weeks Are Satan’s Afterbirth
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Police Report Released In MSU Sexual Assault Allegations
The Michigan Messenger has put online the police report compiled after a student accused two Spartans basketball players of sexually assaulting her....

Dads In Ugly Polo Shirts Punch Each Other At Pee Wee Football Game
A lot of men in matching bright polo shirts started a sideline brawl during their sons' Pee Wee football game in Pearland, Texas. One 12-year-old was thrown "12 to 15 feet" by an opposing coach. Video after the jump....

The Baby-Holding, Foul-Ball-Catching Dads Are Not Going Away
Having learned nothing, a man attending last night's Tigers-Indians match caught a foul ball off the bounce, while holding a baby that may be his and standing perilously close to a railing. Someone put a stop to these monsters. [Sportress of Blogitude]...

If You Didn't Hate Boise State Yet, You Will Now
The Broncos backlash has been satisfying to watch, especially for those of us who love to see everything good and pure torn down. But Boise State fans have officially become insufferable, thanks to this fan-made song set to...Kid Rock. [h/t Jehad]...

Bud Selig Can't Hear You: A Gallery Of Metaphorically Rich Photos Of The Commissioner Cupping His Ear
The Dallas Observer has the latest entry in an ever-growing genre of sports photography: Bud Selig cupping his ear and straining to hear something that he'll probably just lie about anyway. Speak up, America. Bud can't quite make out what you're saying....

Sexual Assault Allegations Against Two Michigan State Players: Why Aren't Charges Being Brought?
Two MSU players were accused of sexually assaulting a woman on campus in August. Despite a police recommendation to prosecute, and one of the accused players later corroborating the victim's account, the prosecutor's office will not be pursuing the case....

Ken Burns High-Fives People When You Cry, And Other Things I Learned While Working On <em>Baseball</em>
In 1993, Alex Belth left college and began working on Ken Burns's Baseball documentary, whose coda, The Tenth Inning, is airing now on PBS. Here, Belth recalls his time with Burns, his encounter with Carly Simon, and Roger Angell's clicking lozenge....

This Is What Happens When Your Back Turns To Mush
This is a story about pain. If you've ever had it, maybe you'll feel compelled to read on. If you never have, I hope you never do....

Here's Ted Williams Talking About His Final Home Run
Updike, Schmupdike. Here's The Splendid Splinter in his own words, talking about his last home run, how he knew it was going to happen, and depriving the fans of the hat tip they wanted oh so much....

I Hope You Die, Mr. Weatherman
Bit of a shorter funbag today. I had back surgery yesterday. Fuck off and leave me alone. Your letters:...

The Day Jeremiah Pharms's Wife Attacked His New Girlfriend In The Stands
You might remember the brilliant, scary reporting about the 2000 Washington Huskies by the Seattle Times' Ken Armstrong and and Nick Perry in 2008. Now, all the stuff that couldn't make a family newspaper has been released in the book, "Scoreboard, Baby."...

Oklahoma State Takes A Page From Pee Wee Football
The Cowboys' new focus on defense includes rewarding players for turnovers with Snickers and Butterfinger bars, probably from a fun-size bag bought for $2.99 at a Stillwater Otasco. [AP]...

Watch This High School Quarterback Hurdle A Standing Defender (Update)
Watch in awe as Marky Thompkins of the East Liverpool (Ohio) Potters shows off his ridiculous athleticism by jumping clear over a defender to get into the end zone. H/T Nic....

Dear College Baseball Players: Stop Using The Internet To Ask For Advice On Taking Steroids
Last week's Villanova player asking for tips on juicing was just the beginning. Apparently there's an epidemic of our nation's stupid, stupid college athletes turning to message boards for the best PED regimen. Today: anonymous college pitcher with a pitiful fastball....

Here's A Video Of A Hot Chick Wearing Gator Colors And A 6'5" Guy Who Probably Won't Live Much Longer
The Florida/Alabama kickoff ain't for six days but after this video makes the rounds, the pack of Crimson Tide fans seeking blood shall form at the "northwest side of the stadium" or "Gate 42, Section U-1, Row 1, Seats 3-8."...

HS Football Coach Moons The Crowd
Saturday's game in Queens between Campus Magnet and Boys and Girls High School got mercy-ruled with 3:49 left in the fourth. Not because of the score, which was only 16-6. Because of assplay....

Here's A Video In Which Tim Lincecum Seemingly Says The Ball Is Juiced
This meeting of the Deadspin Lip-Reading Team is called to order. It starts at roughly 24 seconds of this video which will likely disappear with the quickness so get on it, yo....