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DeAngelo Hall Really Really Wanted A Hot Dog
The Redskins cornerback was a little hungry during his last preseason game against the Jets. So much so that he asked a fan to make a food run for him....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Sean Salisbury
Now that his lawsuit against Deadspin and Daulerio has finally been dropped, allow me to take this opportunity to finally speak about the issues between this Website and the one-time thespian. So, [clears throat] ......

Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....

Now We Know Where MLS Stands In The Sports Pecking Order, And It's Not Pretty
The KC Wizards are forced to reschedule a game because the semi-pro Kansas City T-Bones need the stadium for a Northern League playoff game that night. Let's hope the new date doesn't conflict with any 4-H meetings. [KCWizards.com]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Toni Kukoc
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the frequent feature where we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their baffling soundtrack choices. Today's superstar: the Croatian Sensation, Toni Kukoc, set to Michael Jacksons's "Remember The Time."...

The University Of Miami's Jose Canseco Arrives, Shocks No One
Nevin Shapiro—an alleged Ponzi schemer and ex-University of Miami booster—is threatening to publish a tell-all book about the program. It'd be like that movie The Program, but with less James Caan and more fiduciary malfeasance. Or something along those lines....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Athlete Dong
Of all the things I thought Deadspin would end up being known for, back in September 2005, "pictures of the typically large penises of professional athletes" would have not been high on the list. But art evolves, you know?...

Historians Would Later Pinpoint It As A Pivotal Moment For The King Of Pop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

21-Year-Old Man Arrested for Playing Football Among Boys
Julious Javone Threatts really, really wanted to play football for the Town 'N Country Packers Pop Warner team in Tampa....

Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hype Machine Already Finds Its Next Strasburg
Meet Aroldis Chapman. He threw a baseball 105 miles per hour in Louisville Friday night. AOL Fanhouse broke the story! Then, Buster Olney! Then, Peter Gammons! Then, NESN! Then, NBC reported that AOL Fanhouse, Olney, Gammons and NESN reported it!...

What Shouldn't You Do In Wee-Hours Milwaukee?
If you answered "be a Brewers clubhouse attendant named Alex Sanchez who goes out for 'a late snack' with pitchers," you probably didn't get hit in the back of the head with a handgun yesterday....

John Salley Story Corner: The Time Some Boston Mobsters Asked Me For Inside Info
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: getting solicited for gambling tips by various mafiosi....

Horribly Broken Play Somehow Turns Worse
Don't really know anything about where or when this comes from. But we're going to go ahead and assume it's a St. Louis Rams preseason game....

Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.
Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Hooker Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Terry Francona: The '94 Strike Is The Only Reason Jordan Returned To NBA
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: former His Airness manager and current Red Sox skipper Terry Francona....

Real-Life Lady Football Coach Story Not Going As Well As Lady Football Coach Movie
Natalie Randolph is a woman. But she's also a high school football coach in Washington D.C. Is your mind blown yet? It shouldn't be. We've been here before....

How To Confront Your Old Man About His Ongoing Porn Habit
Before I get to your letters, some quick programming notes. First: I'm on vacation next week, as much as someone who does what I do can be considered "on vacation," so no funbags or hookup posts or posting at KSK or anything else like that. Drew needs time for whisky....

Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominations Are Out Next Week
Heavens to murgatroid, folks, it's that time of year again. Next week, voting commences for the 2010 Deadspin Hall Of Fame class commences. Deadspin turns five years old on September 8. How old we've all gotten....