all Page 1994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Are Happy Facebook Assholes Really That Happy?
I grind my teeth at night. I've done it all my life, and it's so bad that the sharp ends of my cuspids have been sanded down flat. Which means I totally can't be a phony vampire anymore....
Secret Of Nats Success? Pretend They're The Rays
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Dallas Braden's Perfecto: A Musical Retrospective
Dallas Braden became the world's most notable mound-owning, finger-mustache-tattoo enthusiast on Sunday when he threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history. To celebrate, here are all 27 outs set to a song Braden undoubtedly likes. [Tune-age via The Misfits]...
Other Things They Do In The 209, Apparently: Throw Perfect Games (UPDATE)
Dallas Braden, last seen hereabouts mistaking Stockton, Calif., for Tombstone, just threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history, against the Rays. They don't do much hitting in the 727, do they? UPDATE: And now Braden's grandmother starts shit-talking A-Rod, too....
Dwight Howard Copies That One Thing That LeBron Copied
Dwight Howard, the clown prince of the NBA, imitated LeBron James' sorta-not-really-his chalk toss before Game 2 against the Hawks. Dwight should go for broke next time; do MJ's tongue waggle while coming out of an Eagle County courthouse. [The Hoops Doctors]...
A Lovely Short Film For A Warm Spring Day: "Wiffleball '79"
"AJ,I thought you might enjoy my short film "Wiffleball '79." I did. I really did. You will, too. [YouTube]...
Ex-Con Minor League Pitcher Enters Game, Throws/Grabs Junk, Is Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell made a promotional appearance last night at the Houston Astros' triple-A affiliate in Round Rock, Texas, playing a Venezuelan by the name of Rojo Johnson, fresh out of the clink after doing time for illegal iguana selling....
Dallas Braden's Dumb Feud With A-Rod Manages To Get Dumber
The A's lefthander took exception a few weeks ago when A-Rod ran across the mound, a violation of one of a thousand unwritten rules in baseball that remain unwritten for the simple reason that they're stupid. And we're still talking about it....
Hooters Sponsors Youth Aussie Rules Football Team, Outrage Is Palpable
A Melbourne, Australia Hooters has been criticized by various wet blankets for sponsoring an under-16 Australian Rules Football team, the Broadbeach Cats. As per usual, there are adults trying to ruin all the fun....
Joe Torre, Foiled By His Own Enormous Hog. Allegedly. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Is Revenge Jerking A Legal Right?
I have a four-year-old, and having a four-year-old means you spend 80% of your time restraining yourself from beating the shit out of the kid. Four-year-olds do not listen. They throw shit. They punch and slap. They laugh in your face when you yell at them. It's practically as if they're daring you ...
Last Night's Winner: Eric Byrnes's New Softball Team
In sports, everyone is a winner - some people just win better than others. Like a California beer league softball team, which will have the services of the former major leaguer, without having to pick up that $11m contract....
Basketball Playing Dogs A Metaphor For Disorganized AND1-Style Of Play
The Baseline's Eric Freeman thinks these pooches are reenacting the Jazz-Lakers series. Though if Scout, the puppy, does represent the Jazz, there won't be a Game 5. [The Baseline]...
Gallery: A Roundup Of Kobe Bryant Photoshop Humor (UPDATES)
Many, many, many of you submitted your artwork to the Kobe Bryant photoshop post's comments and in emails. Keep 'em coming, and I'll update here accordingly....
A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....
The World Needs More Ruined Weddings
I was watching "House" last night and there was a wedding scene in the beginning where the priest turns to the congregation and asks if anyone has any objection to the union. You know, the whole "speak now of forever hold your peace" thing. I have been to dozens of weddings in my lifetime, and not o...
If Tevez Doesn’t Like It He Can Sod Off, Suggests Mancini
In political terms, the world of football closest in type to classic socialism. Everyone wears the same outfit, united in the one common goal, and no man is bigger than the club....
<em>Are We Winning?</em> Book "Tour" Details
The last time I did one of those book tour things, it was a massive endeavor that took years off my life. We're dialing it a bit back this time. (Oh, yeah, this book.)...
You Are There: Catching A Home Run Ball
If you're like me, you've never caught a ball (fair or foul), but always wondered what it felt like. Well, this amazing video is probably the closest we're going to get....
Byzantine Facebook Recruiting Rules Trip Up UVa
Virginia Coach Mike London is in trouble not because he sent recruit Curtis Grant a Facebook message, but because he didn't do it secretly. Oh, and the actual message is pretty weird, in a NAMBLA kind of way....