all Page 2000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Little Girl Cries Over Tweety Carter's Departure From Baylor. We've All Been There.
Via reader Ben comes this video of a 5-year-old girl who's incredibly, adorably distraught over the Baylor guard's approaching graduation. It is, I believe, the distilled essence of every Rivals.com message board in existence. [YouTube; somewhat related]...

Basketball-Playing Rats Are Amazing, Gross
This video of rats playing basketball is mounting a furious challenge to our dog-playing-basketball video for supremacy in the ever-competitive category of mammals-playing-basketball videos. What's next, an Eddy-Curry-playing-basketball video?...

The Gus Johnson Soundboard Is No More
CBS sent a cease and desist letter to the operator of the Gus Johnson soundboard. He's asking for legal advice, so hopefully Deadspin LLC can help Gus rise and fire on this Good Friday. [Gus Johnson Soundboard]...

Time For A Lady To Have Her Say. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dunker Kicks Defender In The Nuts, Hangs On Rim In Most Emasculating Facial Ever
Here's Tony Skinn, last seen on these shores helping George Mason to the Final Four, vaulting off some guy's coinpurse and dunking. Skinn, it seems, is no stranger to exploiting a man's pain threshold to attain basketball success. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...

A Jewish Fantasy Baseball Draft Kicked Off By A Constipated Young Lady
Do you remember these gals? If not, you should get to know them better. Sam and Susannah and the rest of Middlebrow media will be helping us out from time to time. Enjoy their Passover-friendly fantasy baseball draft. (Possibly NSFW)...

Kansas City Royals: Small-Town Dreams, Small-Town Problems
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Kansas City Royals....

Here's A Video Of A Basketball-Playing Dog That You Will Watch All Day
This pup has the fundamentals and requisite pizazz to dominate a rec league and galvanize a small town, something that has not been seen since the Air Bud franchise stormed into theaters and stole our hearts and our $9.95. [YouTube]...

Letter From Durham: Why You Shouldn't Hate Duke, And Why You Probably Will Anyway
The first game of Duke's season, against UNC-Greensboro on Nov. 13, was broadcast only on Fox Sports South, which meant that my friends up North had to wait another few days to get their initial glimpse of this year's team....

In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...

Philadelphia Phillies: 10,000 Losses
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Philadelphia Phillies....

They May Be Smug Unlikeable Bastards, But Damned If They Don't Have Good Foot Doctors
WVU's Darryl Bryant was treated by an orthopedic surgeon from Duke, in hopes of being ready to face the Blue Devils on Saturday. Would you be shocked if he implanted a time bomb in that foot? [News & Observer]...

Baltimore Orioles: The Stacked Deck
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....

The Rise And Fall Of A Hobby, In 12 Baseball Cards
In Mint Condition, author Dave Jamieson tears the wax wrapper off the business of baseball cards, covering everything from old-timey cigarette-pack inserts to "FUCK FACE" and Upper Deck holograms. Here, Jamieson traces the industry's evolution for us, in 12 cards....

Last Night's Winner: Steve Lavin's Wife
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steve Lavin, who is not only young, well-groomed and gainfully employed, but also married to an attractive human female that (presumably) has sex with him....

The (Other) Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Maybe I was using hyperbole with my headline yesterday — or maybe I just forgot about DePaul. I've read your plaintive emails, and I agree. The search for the Blue Demons' next head coach is proving just as pitiful....

Your Ferocious Middle-School Volleyball Spike Of The Day
Volleyball Spike Gone Painfully Awry is an underrated sports blooper, frequently ignored while its cousin Football To The Groin is heaped with praise. Thankfully, this kid is here to give us all some perspective. [Today's Big Thing]...

Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...

Duke's Bracket Didn't Do So Well, Either
Duke's precognitive Final Four gear was not exactly accurate, but the t-shirt is subject to change. (Hopefully, it still comes with a Duke logo!) I also hope they don't spend all week watching Huskies' game film by mistake. [Thanks, Garth]...

"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...