all Page 2007 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....

And Joe Lunardi Re-Enters Cryopreservation
As you enjoy the NCAA selection show and prepare to enter your own office pool, one of our readers shares a co-worker's concept of a bracket that boggles the mind....

It's Like <em>Get On The Bus</em>, Only A Lot Whiter
Due to Apocalypse-force storms in the Northeast, Notre Dame took an 18-hour bus ride back to South Bend after being bounced from the Big East tourney. Worst National Lampoon's Vacation movie ever. [WNDU]...

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gus Johnson Is Screaming About Desperation Threes In An 8-Point Game; It Must Be March
Quick looks at all the early afternoon conference tournament action....

Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Would You Let This Dude Be Your Rent-a-Dad?
The Gunderson kids did. Find out why on the series premiere of Sons of Tucson, this Sunday, March 14 at 9:30/8:30c on Fox. Trailer at the end of the delightful Ron Snuffkin gallery below....

Let Us Now Savor The Bitter Tears Of Michigan Fans
Current thread titles at MGoBlog's message board: "God Hates Us," "Michigan Hating God," and "At what point do I poke myself in the eye with a stick," which is about the football team. [MGoBlog, h/t BML]...

Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...

Evan Turner Shuts Up Steve Lavin With 40-Foot Buzzer Beater
Things were looking good for the Michigan basketball team. Up two, two seconds left in the game; it was in the bag. Steve Lavin said it was the perfect example of why the conference tournaments are so great....

Fun With Anal Beads! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific
Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]...

Women's Football Leagues Justify Their Existence
The hiring of a female coach for a boys' HS football team does more to legitimize women's football (yes, even lingerie football) than a thousand Katie Hnidas....

San Diego Padres: The Fleeing Padre
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: San Diego Padres....

Quite Frankly, NBA Players Pissed About Stephen A. Smith's Journalism
Regarding this column, ESPN's "NBA Player X" writes: "One of my NBA friends in Philly says a bunch of Sixers can't wait for Stephen A. to show up in their locker room so they can have words with him." [ESPN]...

Cleveland's Lebron Tests Positive For Horse Steroids
Sure, it's an Indians' minor league catcher named Steven Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Plain Dealer]...

C. Ronaldo’s Latest Attempt And 9 Great Football Adverts!
Listening to the various ad execs taking him through their latest idea must have caused something of a tightening in the Cristiano Ronaldo trousers....

Near-Death Experiences, Deodorant, And Eggert’s Shymen
Before we get down to business, I must note that the bottom of this post contains video of the money scene from "Blown Away," which is NSFW, but well worth you risking instant unemployment. Now, to your letters....

Texas Rangers: Reminding Them Of Steak
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Texas Rangers....

Finally, A Basebrawl With Two Separate Felony Assaults
How often does SportsCenter tease a bench-clearing brawl, only to disappoint you when it turns out the hitter doesn't chase the pitcher into the outfield with his bat? Here's one that lives up to the promise inherent in every beanball....