all Page 2056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....
A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....
Arena Football Team Bounced From Playoffs Due To Bounced Check
The Albany Firebirds make the AFL2 playoffs after the actual No. 8 seed, Florida Firecats, are disqualified because they owe the league $200,000. I guess Arena Football teams are not exactly cash cows. Sorry....firecows. [Times-Union]...
Reggie Bush Prepares For Training Camp By Losing Roughly 140 Lbs.
Good news today for all you ass fetishists (that is to say, men). Reggie Bush and saucy Armenian booty princess Kim Kardashian are officially busto....
In Celebration Of A Hall Of Fame Yente
In some countries, marriages are arranged. But in America — where love reigns supreme — Rickey Henderson has the power vested in him to unite man and woman, reports this piece of cardboard....
Recruiting Information Wants To Be Free
It's hard to determine which end of the recruiting process is more corrupt. In one corner are the coaches who feed egos to drive theirs; in the other are the AAU type who extort high schoolers' phone numbers for cash....
Hank Aaron's Convoluted Logic Could Put Pete Rose In The Hall Of Fame
Reports from baseball's Hall of Fame weekend say that Bud Selig is considering the possible reinstatement of Pete Rose, thanks in part to lobbying from current Hall members—i.e., arrogant and confused old men....
Why Your Team Sucks: Indianapolis Colts
Many people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This Deadspin 2009 NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....
Talk About Hope And Change In D.C.
There are people who care about reforming the Bowl Championship Series, and there are people who go homeless to reform the Bowl Championship Series. Guess which category Brandon Kennedy, author of "The Kennedy Proposal," belongs to....
Science Throws Little League A Curveball
Little Bobby throws a curveball and, soon, he whines about a sore elbow. He blames it on his fledgling 12-to-6, but Little Bobby is just craving sympathy. Hate the player, not the game, Bobbo. It's science....
Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...
And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....
Nate Montana Finds Better Football Situation Than Notre Dame
Joe Montana's son has seen Rudy. He knows how this works. First you go to junior college, THEN you try out for Notre Dame....
That's A Terrible Bingo Card
A reminder: Rickey Henderson goes into the Hall of Fame Sunday, which means he'll give a speech. Plan your lives accordingly. [Razzball]...
Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...
We Are Gathered Here Today To Take It To The House
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
Japanese Baseball Robots Already Elected To The Hall Of Fame
Japanese nerds have invented baseball-playing robots with talent far exceeding our own Major League all-stars and they don't require Gatorade or HGH. Well, I guess that's it. We had a great ride, humanity, but our time has passed....