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Gregg Doyel Is A Rather Disagreeable Little Fellow
When a national columnist is a guest on your radio show and he proceeds to call the local college quarterback a prostitute, and his his former coach a pimp, then you've got two things, my friend: Ratings gold, and a genuine douchebag. Welcome back to our stage, ladies and gentlemen, Gregg Doyel, who...

Dean Wormer Would Be Horrified
I suppose if one attends a conservative Christian school such as John Brown University in Arkansas, where students are required to sign a pledge that prohibits profanity, pornography, extramarital sex, tobacco, alcohol, gambling and even dancing, then activities like this are sure to be the result. ...

The Criminal Element In Canadian College Football
Canadians have a sordid reputation for being exceedingly polite, but they want to remind everyone that they can hurt your feelings with a cutting barb or scathing observation too. Of course, even Canucks who are on the other end of those vicious attacks can fight back like a Momma Palin bear on her ...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls..."Men With Balls" Is Here
It is with great pleasure and genuine enthusiasm that I get to point out to you, fair dick joke-friendly Deadspin readership, that the debut novel of not-so-young Drew Magary is ready and available for your consumption. Marvel at his use of creative profanity and his ability to talk about other spor...

College Football Roundup: Crazy Chick In Your Team's Hoodie Edition
This was the week, if there ever was a week, where you look down the BCS barrel and see all sorts of moral dilemmas coming your way. There may very well be three undefeated teams. Right now Penn State would be screwed in this equation. (Although I still think Alabama will lose to whoever wins the S...

The Horrible Revenge Of Dr. Gopher
Well, this is pretty much every nightmare I had from ages 15 to 23 ... make of that what you will. But further one might ask, how does a giant, costumed rodent chasing students on a college campus with a syringe not make it on Nightline, or at least the local evening news? It's when the assailant is...

Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through West Virginia, Son
When you're so drunk and obnoxious that you're heckled by your fellow West Virginia fans, you know it's time for an intervention. Meet someone whom I assume is named Larry ... or possibly Rodney. But first please turn down the volume if you're at work, unless you want your co-workers to start chanti...

Week Eight Of The NFL And The Phils Are One Game Away
Each Monday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the weekend. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...

College Football Recap: Giggity, Giggity!
Were there a whole lot of football games being played by college students yesterday or what? Let's recap all of the Top 25 games - you can look up the rest on your own - trying to only use about sentence or so for each one because baseball will not let anyone sleep! (1) Texas vs. (6) Oklahoma State...

What'll They Do to Joe Paterno: Embalm Him?
We'll bite: we don't know how Joe Paterno did it. We're baffled. Everyone (including us) had him written off for dead at Penn State and officials in Happy Valley looked for graceful ways to remove the body from the scene of the crime and somehow a student must have done something and now the program...

College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...

Springtime For Lou Holtz ... ESPN, Double Standards And You
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Arizona Basketball Is Kind Of A Mess Right Now
See update below ... Late yesterday, Lute Olson finally made it official—he's dunzo at the University of Arizona. (That also means Dick Vitale was ... *shudder* ... correct.) Yesterday was just the latest misstep, however, in an awkward, drawn out and at times ugly exit for a legendary coach who has...

Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...

The World Series Can Eat A Bag Of D—ks. Jamboroo, Week 8.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, hits stores on Monday but is available online right now here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

Lute Olson Leaving Arizona ... Or Not
ESPN's Dick Vitale reported on the SportsCenter this morning that Arizona men's basketball coach Lute Olson is stepping down because of failing health and that Arizona will "conduct a national search" for a new coach. Olson did miss practice yesterday and also failed to show up at an annual Rotary C...

Texas A&M Fans Take Online Trash Talking To Bizarre New Levels
Their football team may 2-5 and winless in their conference (and they haven't even played Oklahoma or Texas yet), but the Texas A&M boosters behind AggieReport.com are winning at least one battle this season. Their smack-talking YouTube videos are a surreal little slice of internet joy.They make ve...

World Series Game One Live Blog: Phillies At Rays
Playoff baseball in Florida. Just as Abner Doubleday foretold in his hallucinations. It begins right now as Cole "Settled In" Hamels and Scott "Dialed In" Kazmir will pitch. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will tell you what you already knew on the Fox broadcast. And this piece? Well, I call it "Lick My L...

Help Us, Baseball, You're Our Only Hope
We have reason to believe that this (or something similar) will be the opening teaser that will greet baseball fans as they tune into the Fox broadcast tonight. I'm not great at reading subtext, but the theme for this World Series seems to be "America: We're Screwed, But At Least We Have Baseball!"Y...