all Page 2167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We've Secretly Switched Canseco's Coffee With Mind Control Serum, Let's See If He Notices
You've seen the excerpts. You've heard the stories. Now prepare for the book tour. Jose Canseco is gallivanting about America, pubbing his second book, "Vindicated," the gripping tale of one man trying to figure out how to use a word processor to burn every bridge he had in baseball. And he doesn't ...
Jake Peavy Packed Kenny Rogers' Hand Cream By Mistake
Earlier we told you of Jake Peavy's masterful one-run complete game win over the Los Angeles Dodgers. A reader sent in these "shots of the screen" indicting a smudginess of the index and middle fingers, and possibly the thumb....
That's A Working Microphone, Derrick Rose
Now one has to wonder what Rose was afraid his teammate was going to say about him. "What do we think of him? I mean, once you get past the premature ejaculating and toenail eating, he's a pretty nice kid who can make things happen on the court. It's a good thing too, we almost forgot his Cabbage Pa...
Shades Of A Very Expensive 2003
And there it is. The dreaded comparison: "Detroit is 0-5 for the first time since the Tigers dropped their first nine games in 2003 en route to an AL-record 119 losses." For the record, the 2008 Tigers are in no way similar to the 2003 variety, with the exception of players named Brandon Inge, Jerem...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering why (a) they didn't go with "always be condoming," and (b) the one taped there was for sale, because, well... • NCAA basketball: Final Four sloughs off coastal teams, history, tradition, aura, grit, and potential ratings, leaving Memphis and Kansas to play for the tit...
Kansas, Memphis Sprint Past Everybody
Storming The Floor wraps up last night's non-live-blogged Final Four action....
I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about....
NCAA Takes Rigid Anti-Hot Girl Stance
Never have I eaten at a Hooters Restaurant, although I always found it amusing that in Toledo there was a Hooters across the street from a Catholic grade school. (Fun infallible fact: Growing up, Katie Holmes went to school there.) I guess when one hears the food isn't that great, and the only gimmi...
Bill James's Steroid Accusations Have Higher Range Factor Than Canseco's
By now even most casual baseball fans know the story of Bill James. Baseball thought of stats one way, he thought of them another, using complex equations using the quadratic formula and integrals and grep. Easy enough. But perhaps Mr. James has another e=mc² up his sleeve when it comes to the way w...
Blue Jays Fan Bares ... Nothing
What is it about that vast field of indoor turf that compels individuals to sashay onto it? Was it the powder blue throwbacks? That's the only excuse I'm taking on an otherwise standard Blue Jays opening night. Toronto beat the visiting Red Sox 6-3, thanks to Frank Thomas's go-ahead double. Roberto ...
NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....
Posing As An Unknown ESPN Analyst Not The Way To Score Teens
That man to your right is ESPN college basketball analyst Mark Adams. Some of you may recognize him; most of you may not. That still didn't stop a 48-year-old New Jersey man from posing as Mark Adams in a failed attempt to shack up with a teenage girl....
Somebody Better Grab That Guy
La New Bears SS Lin Zhi-Shen completely losing his mind after a close play at first in this Friday night's 5-5 tie with the Brother Elephants, charging the first base umpire at full speed from the dugout for about 40 feet and clobbering him with his shoulder and forearm. The Umpire, no small fellow,...
The Usual Dash Of Dollar Dog Night Bacchanalia
Wednesday night at the Philadelphia Phillies Citizens Bank Park marked opening night and its first official "Dollar Dog NIght" promotion, which culminated in a Phillies 1-0 loss and, as usual, another mesmerizing display of shit-faced chaos courtesy of the revved-up monkeys. Ever since the Phillies...
Storming The Floor's Final Four Preview
Storming The Floor looks at the Final Four, which tips off tomorrow. Oh, and this South Park "photo" of the coaches is from Gutty Little Bruins, which is probably why John Calipari looks a little off....
40 Acres And A Mountaineer
University of Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez is still in a messy legal battle with his former team, West Virginia University, about his old contract and the upcoming trial could possibly get ugly. The issue? The legality of the $4 million buyout Rodriguez's team of hard-nosed attorneys alleg...
Terror From The Sky At Fenway Park
It may seem as if I'm writing this post under the influence of peyote, and believe me, I'm not above trying that. But in this case I'm sober and it's all true: A girl who was part of a school group touring Fenway Park on Thursday was attacked by a red-tailed hawk, who delivered a decisive hawk beat-...
Your NIT Champion Ohio State Buckeyes
Storming The Floor looks at last night's NIT championship game. Before they do, however, we'd like to point something out: We never had any idea that teams cut down the nets after winning the NIT. We suppose it makes sense, but still. All right, to Storming The Floor now....
Take A Peek At Baseball's Next Big Thing
According to my calculations, the last pitcher to strike out 10 in his Major League debut was Daisuke Matsuzaka, last season. The last one to throw five perfect innings in his debut was the immortal Ken Cloude, in 1997 (do you know the team?). And the last Cincinnati Red to do either was ... well, n...