and Page 1049 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

Stupid English People Will No Longer Get To Chase Rolling Cheese Down A Hill
After an illustrious 183-year run, the annual Whitsun cheese-rolling event on Cooper's Hill in Gloucester has been canceled, partly for safety reasons. Add "chasing cheese wheels down a steep hill" to the list of things that England has deemed unsafe....

Owner Of 14th Place Team Proposes Rule Allowing 14th Place Teams To Make Playoffs
The NHL's GM meetings wrapped up this week, and lost in the foofaraw over hits to the head was the Islanders' brilliant idea to render the six months of the regular season meaningless....

Erin Andrews and Dick Vitale Cut A Rug
EA is going to be doing it with the stars, and Dickie V is getting psyched for the Big one. So why not share a dance before yesterday's Duke/Miami game?...

Jets Offer 50/50 Proposition; Somehow Still Underdogs
The Jets want to flip a coin with the Giants for the right to have the first game at the new Meadowlands Stadium. Seems fair, after they lost the coin toss to get their own stadium. [NYJets.com]...

Terrible Call Gets Ovechkin Ejected
So let's see: Brian Campbell was 10 feet from the boards, and got hit from the side rather than behind. Still, game misconduct for Alexander Ovechkin. That's what happens when you've got a history of cheap shots....

Agassi And Sampras Have A Catfight For Charity
Dear Haiti: please enjoy this donation of two of America's greatest tennis players ever, teasing and bickering like little children for all the world to see. No givesies backsies....

Less Rex Ryan To Love
Sad news out of New York this morning; an era is over. Rex Ryan had lap-band surgery....

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Entrepreneurs Will Not Rest Until Every Lame Tiger Woods Joke Has Been Commodified
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Introducing Poopgirl: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Women's Football Leagues Justify Their Existence
The hiring of a female coach for a boys' HS football team does more to legitimize women's football (yes, even lingerie football) than a thousand Katie Hnidas....

San Diego Padres: The Fleeing Padre
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: San Diego Padres....

Cleveland's Lebron Tests Positive For Horse Steroids
Sure, it's an Indians' minor league catcher named Steven Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Plain Dealer]...

Last Night's Winner: Derek Anderson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Browns occasionally starting quarterback who was finally released from his own personal Purgatory—even if Purgatory isn't exactly sad to see him go....

Peter King Leads The League In Obliviousness, Strange Notions Of Justice (UPDATE)
Whenever a football story drifts beyond football and contracts and whatever Brett Favre just text-messaged from his ride mower, we can always count on Peter King to give voice to the most oblivious and casually insensitive thought in his head....

Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...

Jim Schwartz Pursues Free Agents Like A Deranged Ex-Boyfriend
How do you convince talented and (mostly) sane players to move to Detroit and play for the Lions? If you're Jim Schwartz you sit outside their house in the middle of the night and leave heaving breathing on their voicemail....

A Real, Honest-To-Goodness NBA Rivalry? Awesome.
Matt Barnes was in Kobe's face all game long (and occasionally, quite literally). Lamar Odom called Barnes "a monkey." It makes for a possible finals matchup not involving Kobe and LeBron that, dare I say it, would be anticipated....

Erin Andrews Will Not Be Part Of ESPN's NFL Draft
As we know, ESPN's Erin Andrews will be part of this year's Dancing With The Stars and, according to ESPN, her appearance on the show shouldn't interfere with her other WWL duties. However: no green room this year....