and Page 1083 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....

Hey Lama, How About A Little Something, You Know, For The Effort?
I don't know jack about Buddhism or karma or any of that noise, but I do know that the Dalai Lama wearing a Patriots hat can't be good for the natural order of things....

Tom Brady Must Be Thrilled
Hey, it's his new bride being groped by nude, muscular black men! [Arab Aquarius]...

Trail Blazer-Themed Pipes Make A Great Mother's Day Gift
If you live in Portland and have playoff tickets, someone would like to trade you these beautiful glass pipes for your ducats. I'm not sure what you would use them for, though. [Ball Don't Lie]...

Usain Bolt's Winged Appendages Undamaged In Accident
Usain Bolt was not seriously injured in a car accident in Jamaica yesterday—just minor injuries to the balls of his feet. That's good....I'm sure he won't be needing his feet for anything important. [Jamaica Observer]...

Dwight Howard Out For Game Six, Magicians Everywhere Mourn
Dwight Howard has been suspended one game for getting all elbow-y on Philly's Samuel Dalembert. (Rajon Rondo? It's all good!) I hope we all learned something valuable here. [Orlando Sentinel; Chicago Tribune; WFNY]...

Depressing Autographed Seat Cushion Is The Only Thing That Remains Of Stephen A.'s Career
I saw this this ungodly little tchotchke at Standings Bar in the East Village, one of the best places to watch sporting events in NYC. I tried to buy it for $40. The owner refused....

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

Fun Conspiracy Theories About ESPN.com's Pony Attack
Several emailers have pointed out an odd coincidence between ESPN.com's cornification and an interview featuring America's Sideline Princess. We may have our first real suspect....

See You On Down That Road, Redux
And now a special farewell to Rick Chandler from Emeritus, William F. Leitch....

Someone Got A Hit Off Of Stephen Strasburg? What?
The pitcher who's going to have major league teams tanking games by July gave up a three-run homer and threw 121 pitches on Friday, but don't worry folks, he still won....

White Guys...Activate!
Bernhard Langer's putt-making ability is much better than his awkward attempt at a chest-bump immediately after he made it. Tom Lehman is equally culpable, but at least his intentions were good. [PGA Tour.com]...

The Atlantic League Is Where Baseball Careers Refuse To Die
Can't afford MLB tickets? Try the Atlantic League, where dozens of former all-stars/has-beens give you a near-Major League experience at a fraction of the cost. Don't get too close to Carl Everett. [Jorge Says No]...

OK, Just How Did Michael Crabtree Slip To No. 10 In The Draft?
As if from a Dickens novel, the 49ers found Michael Crabtree in a basket on their porch on Saturday with a note pinned to his blanket: One receiver, courtesy of Mr. Al Davis, Esq....

And Now The Bill Cosby-Erin Andrews Comedy Minute
This is what happens when you try to put on 15 hours of continuous live coverage of an inherently boring event. Like there weren't already enough senile old men rambling at NFL Live desk....

A Final Message From Bea Arthur: Be A Good Sport
I'm trying to picture the production meeting that made this ad a reality. "Ok, once we signed Bea Arthur then, of course, Lemieux was eager to get on board. And we got the girl in the wheelchair to round out the gang of lovable misfits who learn about the true gift of friendly competition. But I sti...

Andre Smith Needs Your Support, Both Emotionally And Areolically
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Dan Shanoff Deconstructs The Sideline Princess
"But watching her at the event confirmed what I had thought when I watched her on TV: She was down-to-earth and completely comfortable with herself." You cad! [The Sporting Blog]...