and Page 1143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Best.Draft.Ever.
I know that nobody likes hearing about other people's fantasy football lives— but this could be an exception. The intrepid Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Fantasy! gathered up a group of 12 sports bloggers to form the Tank Johnson Desert Classic. The league is a highly volatile experiment that Behrens will c...

The Sun Goes Down On Elton
Being stuck in Clipper purgatory is painful, but that's got nothin' on a ruptured Achilles' tendon. Elton Brand suffered the devastating injury during his off-season workout at the Sports Club South Bay. Once the league's most underrated star undergoes surgery he'll face several months of recovery a...

Witness The Raw Might Of Tony Gwynn
We make no claims to physical supremacy, or aptitude, or even the ability to walk 40 feet without heaving. But surely, new Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn isn't this weak....

Wizards, They Love Them Hos
Good rule of thumb: When a professional athlete is arrested for solicitation of a prostitute, we are required to write about it, even if that athlete only average 3.7 points a game last year....

Somebody Just Give This Guy A Grill Endorsement Already
You knew, somehow, if Evander Holyfield just hung around long enough, waiting for someone to need a big name to highlight some sort of grueling pay-per-view spectacle, someone would give the 44-year-old former heart patient the opportunity to fight for another championship. (Or die trying. Seriously...

Browns Fans Are A Joyous Sort
Apropos of nothing — we haven't said that in a while — here's a Photoshop creation to honor those happy Cleveland Browns fans. Somehow, Brady Quinn is not in this picture, dancing or rocking out to Warrant....

No One's More Fun Than OJ Simpson
If you haven't seen this highlight reel of O.J. Simpson being interviewed by some Website we've never heard of, it's worth checking out. We don't quite understand the mindset of pranking O.J., though; we mean, the guy killed two people. You think you can really embarrass him?...

The NFL Network Tells Deion To Shush
Remember Deion Sanders' compeletely batshit bonkers "defense" of Michael Vick for dogfighting? Well, amazingly, the NFL didn't take too kindly to it....

Congratulations, Cal And Tony!
If you'll kindly excuse me, I'm going to step away from the computer for a little while to stretch my fingers, eat a Tim Horton's BLT sandwich, and watch Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. I hope you understand. I'm really, really hungry....

Knicks' Curry Latest NBA Player To Be Robbed
When I eventually make the NBA — What? I have great court vision! — and I'm making millions of dollars off my 1.6 assists-per-game and great locker-room presence, please remind me NOT to buy a house in or around the Chicago, Illinois area. This is getting ridiculous....

Chatter Haunts Your Dreams, And Sees Straight Into Your Soul
Time once again to check in on the world of Minor League baseball. It's Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Are The Grimsley Affidavit Names Ever Coming Out?
Remember the Grimsley affidavit? (Yes: That one.) Well, the Associated Press has been suing that the public has a right to know the names that are in the affidavit, and the government says it's an ongoing investigation. (A very ongoing one.)...

Erin Andrews, Atlanta Tapas Lover
We don't mean to harp on the sideline reporter thing today, but we feel obliged to point out: If you're around the Atlanta area, and want to know where all the cool kids are hanging out, Erin Andrews has your back....

Mike Piazza Is Not Amused By Your Poland Spring
Mike Piazza has suffered through much in his career. One time everybody thought he was gay. He once was traded to the Marlins. Also, one time, people thought he was a gay. It's been a tough life. But now, now he has suffered through the ultimate indignity....

Deion Sanders Finds Dogfighting Quite Exciting, Actually
Via The Fanhouse, it appears Deion Sanders has a few choice things to say about Michael Vick and his alleged dogfighting. And, if you don't mind us saying, we believe Deion Sanders might be completely insane....

Fausto, Sans Devil, Beats Beckett
Faustus is Latin for "auspicious" ... so Fausto must mean the same thing, maybe? My spanish is not adequate. Remember when the Indians wanted to make Fausto Carmona a closer? Oh, those wacky coaches. The last time Carmona faced the Red Sox — last season — he blew two consecutive save opportunities. ...

When An Old Athlete Is Put Out To Stud
Nothing in sports makes us feel older than when an athlete retires; often, we remember when they first came into the league, and realize that an entire career has passed while we slowly lurched closer to death. It's an uplifting feeling....

Restless And Bored In Seattle, But Well Fed
We're excited to be heading to Safeco Field this September, and not just because of the Mariners, U-Dub and Seahawks games; apparently, the Safeco Field stands are going the way of the house call....

You Had A Bucket? Luxury!
Who among us hasn't locked their young child in his room with a loaf of bread and a bucket and then gone off to watch the Packers at an Indian casino? (Long pause). Um, anyone? Cripes, this is embarrassing....
