and Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
AI-generated Kevin Burkhardt and Greg Olsen lapse into an existential crisis during the Super Bowl
ChatGPT is a lot of fun to mess around with. It is also going to steal my job within the next five years. So until that happens, let’s use it for extremely stupid purposes, such as this procedurally generated dialogue in which Greg Olsen and Kevin Burkhardt become increasingly concerned about the na...
Kansas City Chiefs need Patrick Mahomes to be legacy-defining great to upset Philadelphia Eagles
Super Bowl LVII is almost here, and if you’re like any objective observer, you’ve been staring at this matchup on paper for so long that you’re second-, triple- and quadruple-guessing yourself. The line hasn’t budged at all since settling in at Eagles -1.5, and that should tell you one thing: Stick ...
Who's going to win Super Bowl 57 MVP?
As the lights are brightest, some step up and have truly unforgettable efforts. And some don’t, because they suck and that’s life. And one person from Super Bowl LVII will become the game’s MVP. The chances are high it’ll end up being one of the two starting quarterbacks in Patrick Mahomes and Jalen...
The New York Jets made history — and not the wrong kind for once
The NFL announced its end-of-the-season awards Thursday night, and the list of recipients was largely predictable. While every winner should be proud of the season they had, why stop the competition there? Each standout player and coach accomplished a lot, but who was the most impactful? When we loo...
Durant to Phoenix, Lake Show reboot: Recapping the NBA Trade Deadline’s biggest deals
The 2023 NBA Trade Deadline was one last chance for intrepid NBA contenders to separate themselves from the pack and for a select group of sluggish teams to stow a stimulant onto their rosters. Unless you’re John Collins still stuck on the runway in Atlanta, it didn’t disappoint. The relative parity...
How to hate-watch Super Bowl 57
Listen, the Super Bowl can’t be a celebration for both teams. Derision is the energy source that fuels at least half of the NFL’s astronomical viewership. Millions of fans every week hate-watch sports scripted television, reality TV, and hate-read our site — and we thank you for your eyeballs. (But ...
Keep an eye on these 12 non-QB playmakers in Super Bowl LVII
Plenty of the attention during Super Bowl week will deservedly go to Patrick Mahomes and Jalen Hurts. The pair of quarterbacks who led two of the best offenses in the NFL colliding in the biggest game of their lives. Due to how important the quarterback is to any team, the chances of Hurts and Mahom...
Jordan Mailata is the most interesting man at Super Bowl LVII
Many of the best athletes in the world are playing in this Super Bowl. Patrick Mahomes can throw a football 65 yards from his knees, Jalen Hurts can squat 585 pounds, Skyy Moore is 5-foot-10 and had the largest hands of any wide receiver at the 2022 NFL Scouting Combine. The most impressive athletic...
Could Golden State be moving away from its youth movement?
The youth movement in Golden State seems to be coming to an end with the trade of center James Wiseman just hours before the NBA’s trade deadline. Another once-coveted young player, Moses Moody, was also on the trade block but will probably hang around until the summer. Wiseman was the No. 2 overall...
Bryan Danielson is on the run of his life
This is what I came for, just eight years later. ...
A beginner's compendium on Aaron Rodgers' stupidity
Jets QB Aaron Rodgers has done and said many stupid things over a course of just the last few years. These are those things....
This is new — the Lakers are making reasonable yet still helpful trades
Look at the Los Angeles Lakers. After years of flicking away rotation players and first-round draft picks like doughnut crumbs, they have finally made some moves that go towards building a full-fledged NBA roster. On Wednesday they finally unloaded Russell Westbrook’s expiring contract, and in retur...
Of course the NHL makes teams wear St. Patrick’s Day jerseys
In the NHL’s current procession into the gutter, the New York Islanders were the latest to announce that they wouldn’t be using rainbow jerseys or stick tape for their Pride Night. While odious on the surface, digging a little deeper it gets…slightly less odious. The Islanders have never done so, th...
Brooklyn Nets, we hardly knew ye
A pouting James Harden was traded to the Brooklyn Nets nearly two years ago to the day. Way back in January 2021, before the COVID vaccine card went mainstream, the newest super team was Harden, Kevin Durant, and Kyrie Irving. It is now Super Bowl week 2023. Some of you all have vaccine cards stampe...
These are the best Super Bowl QB matchups we wish got to happen
The Super Bowl is home to some of the NFL’s most iconic matchups and showcases its biggest stars. The biggest stage, however, has still managed to lack some quarterback matchups — brother vs. brother or Hall of Famer vs. Hall of Famer — that would be even more iconic. Here are some of the head-to-he...
Fox should’ve waited before it gave Tom Brady $375 million
Remember the scene in Ocean’s 11 where Brad Pitt gives Matt Damon advice before he goes undercover as a gaming warden to swindle Andy Garcia? “Be funny, but don’t make him laugh. He’s gotta like you and then forget you the moment he’s left the safe.” That’s what I want from my sports booths, and tha...
10 logical ways for Aaron Rodgers to decide his future
When I heard about Aaron Rodgers’ plan to voluntarily go into solitary confinement for four days to figure out his future, I thought he was crazy. I mean, who does this? What kind of screwed up, delusional, narcissistic, ayahuasca-gobbling asshole does this? Has he not seen a prison movie? The only ...
These are the best — and worst — Super Bowl National Anthems
Assuming you’ve got all your Super Bowl snacks and fixings in time, the Super Bowl National Anthem is the first real indication that the game is about to start. At least, that’s usually when everyone at the Super Bowl party starts shhhing everyone else. Not necessarily because everyone gets misty-ey...
The best HC-QB tandems that never won a Super Bowl together
As we enter Super Bowl week, memories of the best players and teams and coaches to ever win the big game. Maybe you think of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, or perhaps Russell Wilson and Pete Carroll. ...