and Page 464 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up
Less than 24 hours after the Astros issued a statement accusing Sports Illustrated of “fabricating” a story about assistant general manager Brandon Taubman gloating to a group of female reporters about having signed accused domestic abuser Roberto Osuna, the team has changed their tune to something ...
If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking Pathetic
The scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...
Bill Belichick Delights In Tormenting The Hapless Jets
Viewers who hadn’t already slipped into a coma Monday night will have noticed a funny sequence early in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ blowout victory over a spectacularly inept Jets team. A pair of declined penalties against New England’s punt team produced the ultra-rare scene of Bill Belichi...
Odell Beckham Jr. Is Pissed About A Big Fine For A Dumb Uniform Violation
Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr. showed off his gams during Cleveland’s Week 6 loss to the Seattle Seahawks back in Week 6, wearing his uniform pants a couple inches above the knee. Why should you give a rip whether a football man wears his pants above or below the knee, you ask, like a real grump?...
"Spooky" Sam Darnold Sees Dead People In Ghastly Loss To Dreaded Patriots
Sam Darnold’s first game back after a bout with smooching disease went great! The returning hero threw for 300-plus yards, and his Jets upset the Cowboys, and poor, discarded Luke Falk was swiftly forgotten. Darnold was even named AFC Offensive Player of the Week! Darnold’s second game, Monday night...
Report: Astros Assistant GM Yelled "Thank God We Got Osuna" At Female Reporters After ALCS Win
During the Houston Astros’ clubhouse ALCS victory celebration Saturday night, Astros assistant general manager for player evaluation Brandon Taubman taunted three female reporters about the organization’s trade for closer Roberto Osuna, who was suspended for 75 games last season for violating Major ...
FA Cup Match To Be Replayed After Team Walked Off The Field Due To Racist Abuse
It’s been a banner fortnight for racism in English soccer. After the debacle in Sofia, wherein the England national team was racially abused by Bulgarian fans, the racism came home in an FA Cup match this weekend....
High School Cancels Football Season, Fires Coaching Staff After Suspended Player Suits Up With New Identity
A high school in St. Louis canceled the remainder of its undefeated football team’s season and fired the entire coaching staff after it was revealed that a suspended player suited up in a different uniform and played a game....
Andy Dalton Finds New, Miserable Low With Three Picks In Five Plays
The piece of shit Bengals got pantsed at home today by Gardner Minshew and the Jaguars, coughing up a narrow, early fourth-quarter lead and allowing Jacksonville to coast to a double-digit win. They are now 0-7. Nobody went to the game. Joe Mixon had 10 rushes for two yards, and non-QB rushers combi...
Report: Conor McGregor Under Investigation For Second Sexual Assault
Conor McGregor is being investigated by Irish authorities for allegedly sexually assaulting a woman in a car outside of a Dublin pub on Friday, Oct. 11, according to the Irish Times and the New York Times. The Irish Times reported that a “well-known sports figure who is already the subject of a rape...
Giancarlo Stanton And His Bum Quad Will Try To Save The Yankees
This postseason, the New York Yankees are 4-0 when Giancarlo Stanton gets into the game, and 0-3 when he does not. The lack of Stanton’s bat in the lineup isn’t the only reason the Yankees are down 3-1 to the Astros in the ALCS, but it’d certainly help to have him at DH instead of Edwin Encarnacion....
Why NFL Officiating Is Such A Shitshow Right Now
Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the NFL is having officiating problems. This year’s crop of rules controversies has a little bit of everything, from inscrutable procedures and points of emphasis that seem to change on a whim to inexperience within the ranks to the role of technology and the...
The Washington Nationals Are The Team Of Destiny, Until They're Not
For the entirety of their brief existence in the nation’s capital, the Washington Nationals have been too insignificant or too lousy or too unlucky or too self-defeating to hate. This is not to say that I haven’t figured out various ways to do it over the years, but also I am not without some intere...
Demaryius Thomas And Bill Belichick Both Agree That Thomas Shouldn't Have Trusted The Patriots
Less than a year after tearing his Achilles, veteran wide receiver Demaryius Thomas has established himself with the Jets this year, though that was never his plan entering this season. He thought he was going to be a Patriot, and after a strange offseason, he’s not very happy with Bill Belichick an...
Vince Carter Remains Vince Carter, Drains Threes Over Hapless Knicks
If you have not watched a Hawks game on TV lately, you may have missed a number of ESPN graphics reminding you incessantly and in various creative ways that Vince Carter is old, older than his team’s entire roster combined, old enough to be Trae Young’s dad’s dad, so old he played pickup with James ...
Here's A Humiliating Way To Lose Your First Game Of The Season
The Colorado Avalanche looked unstoppably good through their first five games of the NHL season, going 5-0-0 against their early competition. But too bad for them tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins knew their weakness: Gabriel Landeskog can’t defend shorthanded overtime goals when he’s in the crease....
Myles Garrett Says Some Weak Sucker Asked Him For A Photo Then Punched Him
Who would do something like this to Myles Garrett? It’s a deeply shitty thing to sucker-punch someone, and it’s especially futile in this case, since Garrett is a 6-foot-4, 272-pound defensive end for the Cleveland Browns. It would take a grizzly bear to damage him!...
Theo Epstein Landlord-Tenant Lawsuit Pits Scorpion Infestation Against Home-Befouling Doggo
Cubs executive Theo Epstein is embroiled in a not-at-all-classic security deposit dispute with a landlord whose home in Paradise Valley, Arizona Epstein rented with his family during spring training in 2015. The landlord says Epstein’s small family dog was a prolific piss-monster; Epstein says the h...
UEFA's Anti-Racism Protocol Was Tested, And It Failed
Anyone could have seen this coming. After England striker Tammy Abraham said the team would walk off the field in Sofia, Bulgaria if faced racist abuse from the crowd, and after manager Gareth Southgate wavered on that claim, saying the Three Lions would adhere to UEFA’s established anti-racism prot...
Gaelic Football Champions Hospitalized After Falling Off Parade Truck
Gaelic football team Enniskerry GAA won the Wicklow Junior B-level football championship on Saturday, and disaster struck as they were celebrating atop a bus, when the railing crumpled and sent a good chunk of partiers to the pavement. Nine people were hospitalized, though nobody was critically hur...