and Page 500 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Super Bowl Officials Couldn't Even Get The Make-Up Call On Nickell Robey-Coleman Right
You gotta hand it to NFL officials, they always find a way to screw-up even the simplest of lay-ups....
Report: The Patriots Blame Tom Brady's Quack Trainer For Gronk's Injuries
Rob Gronkowski is hobbled and washed, and Patriots brass at least in part blames Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s quack/body advisor. That’s according to a report by the NFL Network’s Michael Giardi:...
Black Cat Interrupts Everton Game, Much To The Delight Of Suffering Home Supporters
Despite their team being down 3-1 to Wolverhampton Wanderers on Saturday, the Everton supporters at Goodison Park finally had something to cheer about in the 67th minute of the match as a black cat had invaded the pitch. Play had to be stopped for about five minutes as players waited for the cat to ...
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...
Kyler Murray Tries Very Hard Not To Talk About His NFL Future In Awkward Radio Interview
Oakland Athletics draft pick and NFL draft prospect Kyler Murray is in a precarious position, as he has to figure out whether he wants to choose to play baseball or football, or even some combination of the two. If he’s planning to do interviews while plugging a salty sports drink, maybe he could st...
At The Golden Ram Barber Shop, The Rams Never Left And Can't Lose
It would be easy to miss The Golden Ram Barber Shop if you were walking by it, which is not something that you’d be doing. There are sidewalks along the stretch of Goldenwest Street in Westminster, Calif., but they are underutilized even by the standards of the greater Los Angeles metro area and dwa...
Tennis Player Takes Grunting And Yelling To Extreme; Colleagues Plead With Him To "Shut Up"<em></em>
Typically, tennis players grunt in order to hit a little harder and mess with the opponent’s perception of the ball. Maxime Cressy, meanwhile, seems to grunt in tribute to tennis great Waluigi. The world No. 335 can be heard moaning almost every time he strikes the ball—sometimes both before and dur...
The Stove Is So Cold That Now We Have To Entertain The Padres
Baseball’s hot stove should have burned bright and hot and then shut off by this point in the offseason, given that there are less than two weeks to go until spring training. Instead, the free agent process is all but guaranteed to trudge on through February, as solid potential additions including D...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Isn't The Super Bowl Supposed To Be Fun?
The Patriots are, in all likelihood, going to win again, and it’s going to be awful. The question now is: What is the worst possible way they could win? A 52-6 blowout? A three-TD lead for L.A. followed by yet another miraculous comeback by everyone’s least-favorite fancy dog? Aaron Donald breaking ...
Andy Murray Regrets That You Saw Through His Dick
The Andy-Murray-shared-a-post-surgery-x-ray-of-his-hip-in-which-the-outline-of-his-dong-is-clearly-visible story is somehow entering its third day, and Murray, for one, is over it....
Here Is A Delightful Anecdote From Cameron Jordan About The Browns Being Incompetent
Now, everyone knows that former Cal defensive lineman Cameron Jordan was selected with the 24th overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. What the Tom Heckert/Pat Shurmur–era Browns presupposed at the time was....maybe he wasn’t?...
An Interview With The Local TV Producer Fired For A Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
Michael Telek is a 27-year-old news producer who, until yesterday, worked for the CBS affiliate KDKA in Pittsburgh. He was fired after a Super Bowl news segment used a chyron that labeled Tom Brady as a “known cheater.” As was obvious to pretty much everyone, the graphic was a joke—and not inaccurat...
There's Nothing To Say About This Super Bowl
The week leading up to the Super Bowl is always bad for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s because one particular storyline gets beaten into the ground by every media outlet; other times it’s because a particularly loathsome team or player or coach gets hyped so thoroughly that the mere mention o...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
Bad Soccer Manager Suspended Five Months For Headbutting The Everloving Shit Out Of Opposing Coach<em></em>
Giancarlo Favarin manages Italian third-tier club Lucchese. During a match against Alessandria on Sunday, he found himself in a spat with an assistant coach on the opposing side. In an effort to settle the dispute, Favarin rammed his massive, shiny forehead straight through the assistant’s nose:...
Andy Murray Shares Status Updates On His Hip, Dong<em></em>
Andy Murray announced today that he is recovering from a hip resurfacing, which will hopefully relieve the chronic hip pain that is forcing him into a sad, untimely retirement. The surgery involves shaving down the end of the femur and coating it in cobalt chromium metal so that it can move smoothl...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...