and Page 519 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Colts Don't Trust Andrew Luck To Throw A Hail Mary
For the majority of this past offseason, the narrative surrounding Andrew Luck and his long-injured shoulder was that the Colts quarterback was close to returning to his superstar form—even though the benchmark for the full recovery began when he threw a football in late July. However, Frank Reich s...
Report: Jon Gruden Is Dividing The Raiders Organization With His Inner Circle Of Scouts
Any breaking news about Jon Gruden must feel like whenever a notification block pops up in the middle of the screen while playing The Oregon Trail to Raiders fans, it’s almost never a good sign. The latest report about Gruden indicates that he is taking a POTUS-like approach to scouting talent by on...
The Baker Mayfield Era Is (Almost) Officially Upon Us
After leading the Browns to an incredible second-half comeback on Thursday, and unleashing Bud Light onto the hoards of Cleveland fans who have been desperately waiting almost two years for a win, Baker Mayfield will be the new starting quarterback in Cleveland. Hue Jackson is expected to make the d...
Report: Rob Gronkowski Threatened To Retire Rather Than Play For The Lions
Adam Schefter’s Sunday-morning scoop this week is about a trade that almost went down back in April. Normally, reports on trades that didn’t actually happen are far less juicy than ones that have happened or might in the future. But Schefter’s report—which names a previously unknown team from an Ian...
The Report On Jordan McNair's Death Confirms It Was Entirely Preventable
In a Friday night news dump, the University of Maryland released the findings of an independent investigation into the death of Jordan McNair, a 19-year-old offensive lineman who suffered heatstroke during team workouts. The report reaffirms that trainers contributed to McNair’s death, shedding ligh...
Browns ... Win?
Well that was exhilarating. Baker Mayfield came into Thursday night’s game with the Browns down 14–0 and their offense doing just nothing, and he played a brilliant half of football to bring his team back, and the Browns secured their first win since Christmas Eve 2016. ...
Baker Mayfield Is Playing Like He's Not A Browns Quarterback
Tyrod Taylor was pulled late in the second quarter and ruled out for the second half after suffering a concussion against the Jets Thursday night. He was having a shitty game, completing just four of 14 passes for 19 yards, and leading the Browns to just four first downs and zero points. Taylor bein...
Browns Fan Saves Possum From Having To Watch The Rest Of Thursday Night Football<em></em>
A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably co...
Angels' Francisco Arcia Makes Baseball History In Demoralizing Ass-Whupping
History was made in Thursday afternoon’s Angels-Athletics game. Surprisingly, it was not made by the Athletics, who beat the absolute shit out of the Angels by the football score of 21–3. No, it was made by Francisco Arcia of the Angels, who became the first MLB player ever to pitch, catch, and smo...
Isaiah Crowell Has A Special Gift For Browns Fans
Former Brown Isaiah Crowell scored a couple touchdowns in the first half of Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game. On the second of these Crowell used his touchdown celebration to do something very rude to the football, before throwing it into the end zone stands, to be caught by Browns fans:...
Oakland A's Fans Love Their Team, But Don't Trust Its Owners
Sixteen games into the Oakland A’s historic 20-game win streak back in 2002, Mike Davie realized how cheap team ownership truly was....
I Hope Reporters Never Stop Asking Jon Gruden About Khalil Mack
The Raiders are 0-2, and Bears pass-rusher extraordinaire Khalil Mack has:...
Timberwolves Drama Turns Into Spicy Internet Beef Somehow Featuring Stephen Jackson
You’re going to have to put a little effort into keeping up, here, because it involves multiple different social media platforms, and I am getting too old for this shit....
Chip The Buffalo Destroyed His Dick And Balls With A T-Shirt Cannon<em></em>
No point in keeping you waiting for this one—on Saturday, Chip the Buffalo, Colorado’s sideline mascot, blasted his dick and balls with damn t-shirt cannon and by the grace of God, someone had their phone out to film the vicious neutering of what was once a happy-go-lucky creature....
Oh Good, Time For Patriots Fans To Get Mad At ESPN Again
Those were good times, weren’t they? When that big ESPN report on a schism between Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, driven in part by Brady’s shady nutrition “guru” Alex Guerrero, dropped right before the playoffs and set off rounds of denials and non-denials and recriminations, and a whole lot of scre...
Philly's Once Ambitious General Manager Search Finally Lands On, Of All People, Elton Brand
Not too long ago the 76ers were courting Daryl Morey to replace disgraced former general manager Bryan Colangelo, in a sign of the organization’s lofty ambitions for the next chapter of Sixers basketball. By that same token, not too long ago the Sixers were hoping to court LeBron James and Paul Geor...
All Is Not Well In Minnesota
Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...
Sunday Was Hell Day For Kickers
“Professional football placekicker” has to be a tough job. Either you make all your kicks and people think you’ve done what’s expected of you, or you miss one (or two! Or three or four!) and you get trashed and maybe fired....
Josh Gordon Traded To The Patriots, Of Fucking Course
And here are the terms:...
Auld Lad At Ireland Bookie Shop Thwarts Three Armed Robbers
There may come a time in life when you’re 83 years old and posted up at the bookies in Glanmire, Ireland, enjoying the retired life. When three men wielding hammers and a gun barge in, what will you do? “You can either run and hide or take a stand and I took a stand,” was the answer that Denis O’Co...