and Page 531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The American Who Briefly Got Ireland To Love Basketball Is Looking For A Storybook Ending
On Thursday, the national basketball team of Ireland beat Andorra, 63-56, to stay alive in FIBA’s European Championship for Small Countries, held all week in Serravalle, San Marino....
LeBronWatch: LeBron Officially A Free Agent
Folks, the thing all savvy LeBron Watchers knew was coming has indeed occurred. LeBron James has spiked the city of Cleveland back into the rubbish bin:...
England Score Big Win By Losing To Belgium
In today’s crucial group stage match between England and Belgium, the Brits narrowly managed to come out on top by coming out on bottom of a hard-fought 1-0 loss. With this phenomenal loss, England won entry to the much weaker side of the knockout round bracket, and now have a clear lane to the Worl...
Both England And Belgium Have Every Reason To Lose Tomorrow
England and Belgium will meet tomorrow at Kaliningrad Stadium in a match that will decide which team will win Group G. Both teams have scored eight goals and conceded two in a matched pair of blowout wins against Panama and Tunisia. This means that if they draw tomorrow, they will have identical goa...
The Cotton Candy Hot Dog Will Kill Us All
If you haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet today, it may be exceedingly difficult to do so now. Over the weekend, the Erie Seawolves, the Double-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers, unveiled a special product for their Sugar Rush Night. It is the kind of special anti-treat that you will never be able...
Randal Grichuk Pulled A Reverse Bartman On A Potential Game-Tying Homer<em></em>
With the tying Astros run at the plate in the bottom of the ninth, a long fly ball to right from George Springer was utterly robbed of dinger status by the vertical leap of Randal Grichuk. In preserving the Toronto lead, Grichuk thwarted not only the whole Houston team, but also a young Blue Jays fa...
Iranian Goalie Who Exposed Ronaldo As A Fraud Went From Being A Homeless Runaway To The World Freaking Cup
Portugal was denied the full three points in their 1-1 draw against Iran today, thanks in massive part to a save from Iranian goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand on a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. Ronaldo, who failed to score today, was newly exposed as a massive fraud when his attempt at a powerful sho...
LeBronWatch: Podcast Guest Thinks LeBron Has Narrowed It Down To Three Teams
LeBron James has until Friday to decide whether to opt in to the last year of his contract with the Cavaliers, or decline it and become an unrestricted free agent. As previous LeBronWatch entries have noted, LeBron plans to sign with the Lakers, Cavaliers, Nuggets, and Knicks next season, and he wil...
Panama Got Their Asses Kicked And Still Won
Expectations are everything at the World Cup. A narrow loss in the Round of 16 might be a generationally humiliating result for one team while being a heroic feat of determination and resolve for another, with the lines between the two being drawn based on what was expected from each team coming int...
Italian Heritage Group Manages To Get Offended By Minor League "Pizza Rats" Promotion
The Class-A Staten Island Yankees have one of the cleverest and most well-regarded promotions this season, as they occasionally rebrand themselves as the Staten Island Pizza Rats. It celebrates the 2015 viral video of a subway rat who likes pizza, and acknowledges a 2016 fan vote to change the team’...
How Did James <em></em>Rodríguez Make This Pass?<em></em>
Colombia rebounded nicely from a 2-1 loss to Japan with a 3-0 shellacking of Poland in their second World Cup game today. The icing on top was a goal from Juan Cuadrado, but the scorer had a pretty easy job. All Cuadrado had to do is run a breakaway to the net, while it was James Rodríguez who had t...
An Extremely Stupid Tiebreaker Will Be Used If England Draws With Belgium
England pulled level with group rivals Belgium after their lopsided win against Panama this morning, giving each national side six points going into their final group stage game against each other. Not only do Belgium and England have the same amount of points, though, but they also have exactly eig...
England Played Great And Actually Have The Goals To Prove It This Time<em></em>
Despite creating loads of chances in their first game against Tunisia, England had to rely on an epic stoppage-time winner from Harry Kane to get all three points. There was no such drama necessary in the Three Lions’ match against Panama on Sunday, however, as the English were actually able to fini...
FIFA Will Investigate Two Switzerland Players For Controversial Goal Celebrations
FIFA has announced that it has opened an investigation into Switzerland players Xherdan Shaqiri and Granit Xhaka in light of both players’ politically charged goal celebrations during Switzerland’s 2-1 win over Serbia yesterday....
Little-Known Icelandic Soccer Player Becomes Social Media Sensation Due To His Sexiness
Coming into the World Cup, not many people had heard of Icelandic winger Rúrik Gíslason. Then he stepped onto the pitch as a substitute for an injured teammate during his country’s match against Argentina and the whole world realized that he is hot as hell....
Icelandic TV Set Its Highlight Reel Of The Argentina Match To "Immigrant Song," And It Kicks Ass
Iceland takes on the Super Eagles of Nigeria in our next World Cup match, so here’s something to get you psyched up for the battle: a highlight reel from Iceland’s match against Argentina, set to Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song,” as aired just now on Icelandic TV....
England Accidentally Reveal Starting XI, Blame Media
During an open training session yesterday, England assistant coach Steve Holland was photographed holding notes that appeared to reveal the starting lineup for Sunday’s match against Panama. England don’t want Panama to know this! They don’t want anyone to see those notes. So here they are:...
Barstool Sports Stooges Try To Explain Why Corey Lewandowski's "Womp Womp" Was Actually Funny
On Tuesday, former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski displayed a shocking lack of humanity when he went on Fox News and responded to a story about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome being taken away from her mother at a border facility by saying, “womp womp” in a mocking ton...
Barry Trotz Is Coming To Try And Salvage The New York Islanders
With all the other NHL coaching vacancies filled before he announced he was leaving the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals, Barry Trotz could really only choose between a year off from the bench or the New York Islanders. Today, he decided to go with NYC’s little-brother hockey team, signing a...
Baker Mayfield Turns Colin Cowherd Into A Punching Bag
Cleveland Browns draft pick Baker Mayfield, who will have some kind of documentary series air on Fox next month, has frequently been criticized by rat boy Colin Cowherd. That part in between the commas is presumably why Mayfield appeared today on The Herd, where he handed Cowherd’s ass to him when t...