and Page 979 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your MNF Late Game Open Thread
One gets the sense that when this game was scheduled, someone had dreams of Tim Tebow starting dancing in their heads. Alas, it's not to be, as at least two quarterbacks, Ubaldo Jimenez, and John Elway would all have to get hurt before Tebow gets in this game. Unless...H-back time!...

UCF Student Fights With Police Officers And Loses, UCF Fans Respond With Thundersticks
You know what they always say: when Boston College and Central Florida get together, hoo boy, call in the National Guard. Say hello to Andrew Galbo, a graduate student at UCF, and someone who should've been tased, bro:...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Roy Hobbs Meets Sisyphus
Things got better on Friday for Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran starter and living parable. Yet things also got no better. Pitted against 28-year-old Angels ace Jered Weaver, the 38-year-old Colon found that his arm was fresh, his control everything he wanted it to be. "I feel like I did at the ...

Charles P. Pierce Takes His Red-Hot Career To Grantland
Remember this (to which Bill Simmons responded thusly)? "In addition to leading Esquire's politics blog, Mr. Pierce will write a regular column for Grantland and contribute occasionally to The Triangle blog." Honestly, this is wonderful news. [Observer]...

Tony Soprano Probably Saved The Jets By Having The Cowboys Whacked
Your morning roundup for Sept. 12, the day after there just wasn't enough 9/11 coverage on television. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Looks Like Somebody Pissed Themselves At Today's Chargers Game
The good thing about what happened to this poor chap standing next to a lass wearing a short light blue/white checkered skirt sitting in the front row when the San Diego Chargers hosted the Minnesota Vikings today is that he didn't shit himself. That's an assumption. He probably has by now. (H/T Cu...

Here's Video Of The Friday Night Fights At A Detroit Eatery
Explained YouTuber FullerVision, "Went to the money to get a corn beef sandwich and got some entertainment while waiting." There's some cussing, and bare male ass herein, for what it's worth....

Here's A Picture Of An Amorous Moment Between A Yankees Starting Pitcher And Backup Catcher
Tipster Spatt sent this photo of happy handed activities in the Yankees dugout last evening, along with the observation, "Apparently Bartolo Colon didn't like the feel of Jesus Montero's balls. Looks like Montero doesn't mind though. Ah, the perks of the Big Leagues."...

Watch A Chelsea Player Take Cleats To His Back And Decide For Yourself Whether It Was Intentional
In today's EPL match between Chelsea and Sunderland, Juan Mata of the former felt some cleats drive into his back from the foot of opponent Phil Bardsley....

This Evening: Welcome To Green Bay, Randall Cobb. How About A Handjob?
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 9, the day Steve Jobs did not die. H/T to Drew for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Grizzly Relays And Rugby Widows: Deadspin's Dispatches From The 2011 Rugby World Cup
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober....

Where Did Ryan Fitzpatrick Go To College, Again?
From Peter Richmond at Grantland:...

Grantland Republished David Foster Wallace's Epic 2006 Essay on Roger Federer, And You Should Go Read It Now
The late author's profile, written for the now-defunct Play, "constituted a dream pairing of writer and subject" that "still stands as one of the most stirring, illuminating essays ever written about the beauty of sport at its highest level," according to the Grantland introduction provided by Mich...

The Reports Of NFL Special-Teams Excitement's Demise Were Probably Premature
As you can see from this video compiled by new guy Conor Hastings, Darren Sproles of the New Orleans Saints returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown tonight. Shortly thereafter, Green Bay Packers rookie Randall Cobb did the same with a 108-yard kickoff return. To which Sproles said oh, ok, I'll ge...

Two Ladies Enter This Street Fight, One Leaves Topless (NSFW)
Thirty-two seconds into this Rockwellian portrait of a place called Trendwood, one participant in an apartment-complex parking-lot fracas places her breasts back into some sort of garment. They don't stay hidden very long, playing very prominent roles from 0:45-1:30....

Curtis Granderson And The Orioles's Mascot Shared A Moment This Afternoon
It's impossible to determine exactly what Yankees centerfielder Curtis Granderson and the Oriole Bird were discussing during pregame calisthenics....

Andy Roddick Totally Flipped Out Over The Court Still Being Wet At The U.S. Open (Video)
And ESPN's cameras captured much of his tirade, which was directed at tournament referee (and USTA pro circuit director) Brian Earley during Roddick's fourth-round match this afternoon against David Ferrer. The match eventually was moved to the much smaller, 584-seat Court 13, where Roddick won in a...

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN
Via Deitsch: "Been told former President George W. Bush will narrate a 2-minute opening for Fox NFL Sunday on Sept. 11 at 12PM."...

The Flying Squirrel, Like The Cleveland Indians' Playoff Hopes, Is Getting Away
Your morning roundup for Sept. 8, the day we learned we could buy Marty McFly's shoes. Photo via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out
Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap."...