and Page 982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nice Backpack, Rookie
Your morning roundup for Aug. 29, the day we learned stale beer works wonders as a wood polish. Photo of Padres rookie Anthony Bass via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ric Flair Is Threatening To Sue Grantland Over "Falsehoods" In Their Story, Even Though The "Falsehoods" Came From Flair's Book
WOOOO, boy. TMZ reports that Ric Flair, noted pro wrestler, is weighing his legal options against Grantland, Bill Simmons' sports-prose panacea, after the site published a long piece this week by Shane Ryan on Flair's legal trouble. ...

Brandon Davies's Sexual Punishment Has Officially Ended While Jimmer's Has Just Begun
BYU announced yesterday that it reinstated Brandon Davies to its basketball team and to engage in its academic offerings. He'd been suspended since March for an "honor code violation" in which "honor code violation" means engaging in sexual intercourse with his girlfriend....

Ravens Rookie Breaks Up Knife Fight At Five Guys Burgers, West Coasters Say In-N-Out Knife Fights Are Better
Tandon Doss is just a rookie, so he's still learning about Baltimore. His first lesson: the only two reasons to go to the Inner Harbor are the Aquarium and the chance to watch brawls at the many many chain restaurants (I saw a guy get shanked at the Cheesecake Factory once). Doss wasn't there for th...

It's Probably Not As "Record Breaking" To Hit Three Grand Slams In A Game If Strikes Are Called Balls
ESPN.com chose to lead its website with the Yankees 22-9 win over the A's this afternoon. Specifically, they highlighted the Yankees "record three slams in romp." This is noteworthy since it's the first such trifecta in MLB history. One for the ages....

If You're Going To Pick A Fight With A Memphis Transit Security Guard, Make Sure It's Not The MMA Fighter-In-Training
When a Memphis Area Transit Authority security guard beat the piss out of some chump who was harassing the ladies outside a downtown station, the local ABC affiliate did God's work....

This Evening: That Sign Behind Home Plate Sums It Up
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 25, the day we discovered beef jerky potato chips. H/T to Dan for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

New Hampshire Salutes World Champion Bruins In Most New Hampshire Way Possible: With A Corn Maze
This is a 12-acre corn maze at Sherman Farm in idyllic Conway, N.H., where the farmers live free or die and also have too much time on their hands. Their work has gotten some press, and the folks at Sherman Farm are rather astounded by the reaction. After Puck Daddy picked up the story earlier today...

Confused Old Man On A Rascal Tries To Run Over Referee
A lively old man on a Rascal (also known as a wheelchair, mobility scooter, or Jazzy, depending on your local parlance) nearly took out a referee in a game between FC Oss and Almere City in the Netherlands on Friday night. Edwin van der Graaf reportedly handed out six yellow cards to Oss, the home...

Bay Area Radio Hosts Have Insane Solutions To Fan Violence
KNBR's Damon Bruce supports profiling for allowing fans into games. [UPDATE: Damon was very insistent that he never mentioned or intended a racial aspect to the profiling, and we'll take him at his word. So, keeping out races, no, keeping out thugs who just come to games to start trouble, yes.]...

Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: It's A Fine Line Between Failure And Non-Failure
What did Bartolo Colon teach us about our place in the universe last night? Special philosophical correspondent David Roher was at the ballpark to witness the veteran Yankee's performance against Oakland, as Colon fell behind the A's 5-0—with two of the runs scoring after he'd left the game, on a do...

Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...

Here Is Andy Samberg Playing Both 70s Bjorn Borg And John McEnroe On The Cover Of <em>NYT Magazine</em>
OK, this is kind of cool. Tennis and the New York Times being weirdly not-stodgy, everybody!...

Maryland Football Players Will Dress In Whatever Clown Suit Under Armour Tells Them To
These new uniforms are the work of Under Armour. In their combinatoric ugliness, they are seemingly modeled on Nike's gear for Oregon, which is to say the uniforms are there to turn a bunch of under-compensated college kids into dress-up dollies modeling whatever hideous new breathable wear the comp...

John Starks Was A Gifted Grocery Store Employee, And Other Stories From Slate's <em>Hang Up And Listen</em> Podcast
Our friends at Slate do a fine weekly sports podcast called Hang Up and Listen, which is a thing that callers to WFAN often tell Mike Francesa they will do. But Josh Levin is more insightful than Mike Francesa!...

Cops, 49ers Will Work To Make Fans Less Drunk After Especially Drunken Raiders-49ers Game
The annual drunk brawl between 49ers and Raiders fans took place this past weekend, and it was, historically speaking, more drunk and brawl-y than usual. In what essentially amounts to a timeout for grown-ups, both teams have requested that the NFL "indefinitely suspend" the annual preseason "Battle...

Albert Haynesworth Has Two Words For Washington
It's not "fuck you." It might as well be....

You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...
