and Page 988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He Did.
And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are....

This Evening: Alexander Ovechkin Is Really Overdressed For This Summer Weather
Your p.m. roundup for July 26, the day we passed on ordering pink beer. H/T to Ian for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Jeff Saturday On Hugging It Out
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Colts and Patriots, sitting in a tree....

The First Rounder Who'd Rather Play For The Long Island Ducks Than Sign With The Astros
The Astros are high on UConn outfielder George Springer, who they took last month with the 11th overall pick. How high? He's got some wondering if Hunter Pence isn't now expendable. But the deadline to agree to terms is August 15th, and Springer spent his weekend on Long Island, meeting with the GM ...

Guess Who Arrived First For Broncos Practice Today?
At 8:01 this morning: "Tim Tebow. Of course." [@AdamSchefter]...

The Sucker Karate Kick Is Much More Evil Than The Sucker Punch
After a third-round game in a U-20 soccer tournament in Minas Gerais, Brasil on Monday, the players brawled. That brawl suddenly ended, however, when Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind and with no warning....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....

The Best Argument For Eliminating Offensive Pass Interference
Different football (Australian), different rules (as far as we can tell from watching this televised Calvinball that airs on the wee hours on ESPN2, there are no rules). But we're still awestruck by this move that Carlton's Andrew Walker pulled on Saturday night....

Tour De France, Stage 21: A Bloodless Conclusion To A Bloody Race
The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilo...

Tour De France, Stage 20: The Aussie Gets His Wings
When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favor...

Watch A Cop Take A Baseball To The Head At Last Night's Indians/White Sox Game
Tipster Andrew D. was kind enough to share this video of a foul ball deflecting from the stands at Progressive Field in Cleveland onto the dome of a sideline cop. At first, he's on the edge of seething, but then he sees the whimsy of the moment and just goes back to his responsibilities to God, Co...

There Was A Nude Rugby Match With A Blind Referee In New Zealand Yesterday (NSFW)
The lede of the Western Australian's story about yesterday's 8th annual nude rugby tournament match between the Nude Blacks and a Fijian International side states, "Ball skills and a lot of tackle were the order of the day as New Zealand clashed with Fiji in a game of nude rugby in Dunedin."...

Tour De France, Stage 19: Like A Punch In The Face
Until yesterday, the 2011 Tour de France had been a bit of a drowsy bore (even Lance Armstrong had admitted as much). Then came yesterday's 18th stage when, like a stag party on Day 3 of a Champagne bender, things lurched inexplicably alive. There was a punishing "stuff of legends" solo attack by ga...

Venezuela Lost, But Did Not Go Down Without A Brawl, In Last Night's Copa America Semifinals
When Paraguay outlasted Venezuela in the Copa America semifinals last night, it brought cell-phone holder Larissa Riquelme within 90 minutes of having to strip for the world. The PK victory after a 0-0 match also resulted in a brawl. Good times....

Tour De France, Stage 18: The Day The Sport Lost Its Shit
There are moments when commentary on even the most marginal events rises to such shrieking hyperbole that we're compelled to see what the fuss is all about. Today, Stage 18 of the Tour de France, was one of those days. Total. Freakout. Perhaps this is not unexpected from veteran Versus cycling annou...

Is Alex Ovechkin Looking A Little Bloated?
Nah, probably just the posture, or the skintight shirt. Or his legendary offseason regimen. But it's got to be a little unsettling for Caps fans to have to be reassured: "Don't worry; I'm going to be in good shape." [Caps365]...

An Entire Section Of DC United Fans Planked At Last Night's Game
Well, planking just won't die. We thought it had, over the weekend. But maybe soccer fans based in DC don't watch morning news in Dallas....

Watch A "One-Punch Fight" In The Stands At Today's Pirates Game
With Pittsburgh's 3-1 loss to the Reds today, a Milwaukee win over Arizona tonight would put the Brewers in first place. The fear of dreams being dashed was probably what started all this static near Bob and Eileen who just wanted to talk some Ozzy and cheer the Pirates onto a victory that would n...

ESPN's Cringing, Persnickety, Condom-Obsessed Standards And Practices Manual, Presented Unabridged
Below you'll find ESPN's editorial and advertising guidelines as of 2010, sent to us by a tipster. They are the sort of guidelines one finds beneath coffee mugs at any typical media company: binder with laminated cover; nice paper stock; a general air of scolding, constipated didacticism that's like...

What Does Bartolo Colon Mean Today?
Life is a small sample. So what are the metaphysical implications of the most recent game pitched by the Yankees' 38-year-old fourth starter? After July 14 (0.2 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 0 K), "Defeat had simply taken wonder's place." Last night? 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 9 K. Wonder is back!...