and Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Hotel Prostitutes" Get Mexican Soccer Players Sent Home From Copa America
The Copa America is about to start, but eight players on the Mexican side are in big trouble. Seems they had a little place in their Quito hotel where they were running some Ecuadorian whores in and out, trying to be responsible. Then, laptops and iPads turned up missing. They got criticized for th...

The Girl With The OKC Thunder Tattoo Wants To Bear Kendrick Perkins's Babies
Here, Priscilla and Ashley discuss, or at least make reference to, the Mavericks/Thunder series, manners, personal space(s), sweat flavor, stalking Awful Joey Crawford and whether inking prevents pregnancy, while Priscilla or Ashley gets "Thunder Up!" and "Rise Together" tattoos added to her inner...

Oh Look, There Was Another Brawl At The D.C. Caribbean Carnival (Somewhat NSFW)
As opposed to the video posted, like, an hour ago, this brawl does not involve calls for titties. Rather, this "cArabian festival" footage drives home the point that, "If you're not on Howard University right now, you're not doing nothing." Fair enough....

Your Long, Painful Wait For Another Street-Festival Brawl Video Has Now Come To An End
What's left unsaid in this footage from a minor dust-up at last weekend's DC Caribbean Carnival — or as the uploader titled it, "caribian fest day 2" — is the cause. What's not left unsaid is that at least two observer deeply, genuinely "wanna see some titties, want some titties. Titties. Titties!...

Portland Continues Mirthfully Torturing Fan Base, Will Offer Greg Oden One-Year Extension
The Portland Blazers are expected to make Greg Oden — the most easily-forgotten TMZ star of our time and the youngest veteran in the league — a restricted free agent with a $8.8 million qualifying offer for a one-year contract extension. With the offer alone, the Blazers will reserve the right to ma...

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...

With NBA Lockout Looming, Gilbert Arenas And Dwight Howard Start Planking
Perhaps you are familiar with planking, one of those odd fads forced upon us by Australians. (Just like Hugh Jackman!) One planks by lying completely flat on an odd surface and then photographing it....

A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...

Drunk Ohio Teacher Resists Arrest, Sprays Cops With Her Breastmilk
We're not sure we know the precise meaning of the term "hot mess," but this just has to be the perfect application. Meet Stephanie Robinette, 30, a lactating charter-school teacher from Westerville, Ohio (a Columbus suburb), who got drunk, disorderly, and weird over the weekend....

Grantland's Jonah Lehrer Loves Intangibles So Much He Made A Whole Argument Out Of Them
Aren't sports statistics terrible? Of course they are. Sports has been overrun by number-nerds, and the number-nerds get angry if you point this out. So Jonah Lehrer, writing at Grantland about the pernicious influence of numerical analysis, makes sure not to bring up any actual examples of how numb...

Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe
Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically."...

Even These Freaks Have More Business On A Baseball Field Than Jeff Francoeur
Your morning roundup for June 28, the day we celebrated an extinction. (Photo of Cirque Du Soleil throwing out the first pitch at the Padres game via Getty Images.)...

Happy Serena Meets Sad Serena: A Video Comparison
Serena Williams, the two-time defending Wimbledon ladies' champion, was knocked out of contention today with a 6-3, 7-6 loss to Marion Bartoli. Her post-match presser was in stark contrast to the post-match presser that followed her third-round win over Maria Kirilenko on Saturday. One is a happy,...

Floyd Landis Is Sparring With Lance Armstrong Under A Strange Twitter Pseudonym
Outside magazine has the story of temporary 2006 Tour de France champion Floyd Landis and his anti-Lance-Armstrong Tweeting collective. Right now, they're holding court at @GreyManrod....

Playing Left-Handed At Wimbledon Is As Big An Advantage As Playing Right-Handed
Today's New York Times reports from Wimbledon on the sneaky advantage that left-handed tennis players enjoy on grass:...

Deadspin's 2011 NHL Entry Draft Running Diary
Welcome to Deadspin's first and likely last annual NHL Draft Diary. Follow along with due reverence for the most thrilling pageant in all of sport....

The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...

This Is The Most T.O. Thing You've Ever Done
When the season is actually delayed, we'll hate the NFL lockout for that. But for now we're just pissed at Goodell and/or De Smith that there's no football news out there. Summers suck for sports, and NFL draft/free agency/holdouts/training camp talk are an entire second season that we're lacking. W...

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Here's Video Of Mexico Tying The Gold Cup Final At Two All
The U.S. went up 2-0 on a Landon Donovan goal from a Clint Dempsey assist. Mexico's Pablo Barrera countered with one six minutes later, leading to this José Andrés Guardado tally. Halftime score: 2-2....