and Page 998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Constitution Gives You The Right To Flip Off Rival Fans
A huge court ruling has gone completely under the radar. It's not a steroids witch hunt, or a BCS antitrust suit, but something far more important to the day-to-day lives of sports fans: protecting your First Amendment right to bear middle fingers at a football game....
Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....
Here’s An Update About The Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Earlier today, Philadelphia police announced they'd arrested two of the four imbeciles who beat someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....
Suspects In Attack On Giants Fan To Go Up On 300 LA Billboards
Starting tomorrow, sketches of these two men will appear on billboards around Los Angeles. They are wanted in connection with the beating of Bryan Stow in the parking lot after a Giants game. Stow "is basically gone," his mother said this week....
Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....
Mysterious Blackjack Savant Single-Handedly Busts Tropicana Casino
The New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement yesterday reported April revenue for casinos in Atlantic City. The numbers, down across the board, are disheartening for the second-biggest gambling market in the country. Heartening for the rest of the world, however, is that the Tropicana Casino and Re...
All Aboard The Bandwagon: Tampa Bay Writer Decides, On The Verge Of Conference Finals, That He Is A Hockey Fan
St. Pete Times writer Ben Montgomery has watched a grand total of seven Lightning games in his life, and they happen to be the most recent seven. The Lightning won all seven of those games. That's the kind of thing that makes one a hockey fan for life, right?...
Watch The "JetMan" Fly Across The Grand Canyon
Yves "JetMan" Rossy, a Swiss "pilot, inventor and aviation enthusiast," has a custom-made human jet suit, and today he flew 200 feet over the Hualapai Reservation on the Grand Canyon. How's your Tuesday going?...
Luke Rodgers Will Burn Off Your Face, Landon Donovan
Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dick...
Try To Look Surprised: England Says World Cup Voters Asked For Bribes
Ever since the good, godfearing Anglo nations were shut out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, rumors have flown that Russia and Qatar bribed their way to the top. No one would be surprised because it's FIFA, but it was also sour grapes. And maybe it still is, but this time England is naming names....
Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....
What The Hell Did Andrei Kirilenko Do To His Back?
Andrei Kirilenko got a back tattoo. As far as we can tell, although we don't play Earthdawn ourselves, it is an image of a warrior riding a dragon beast flying creature with strangely-textured giant wings. Let's call it the Russian God of Bad Ideas....
Belgian Cyclist Dies After Fall in Giro D'Italia
Wouter Weylandt was pronounced dead soon after a single-bike crash in a hilly stage of the Giro D'Italia, one of the three Grand Tours of cycling, and often the most dangerous....
Is This The Ultimate Insult To A Rival Team?
Your hated geographic rivals are suffering one of the worst humiliations in their 130-year history. What's a devoted fan who takes pleasure from the misery of others to do? Fly a goddamn airplane banner over their stadium....
An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...
The Lakers Had A Group Meltdown In Honor Of Phil Jackson's Final Game
Let's avoid speculating about why the Lakers are avoiding Kobe Bryant on the court, and why Pau Gasol broke it off with his girlfriend, and how those two things may or may not be related and may or may not have lead to this 4-0 sweep, and just point out that Los Angeles played like a team — despit...
After Mendenhall, Scoop Jackson Provides A Handy Guide To ESPN's Corporate Twitter Policy
Rashard Mendenhall wrote some thoughtless shit on Twitter after Bin Laden's death last week. Whatever you think about American military operations, or the popular reaction to the US mission, it's fair to say that Mendenhall's tweets didn't represent an athlete's thoughtful examination of jingoism ...
The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....
Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander Throws Second Career No-Hitter
In today's 9-0 win over the Toronto Blue Jays, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander was within one walk of a perfect game. His first career no-hitter came against the Milwaukee Brewers in 2007....
Here's Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Yesterday, police in Philadelphia released video from last weekend that shows four imbeciles beating someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....