andy Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shirtless Horse-Man Jogs Through Hurricane News Coverage
One of the more curious finds at Qumran in 1947 was a scroll containing an alternate version of the Book of Revelations, a slightly different apocalyptic scenario than the one we're used to. "And I saw, and behold a white man: and he had a horse head; and jogging shorts: and he went forth capering,...
The Eagles Are Considering A Quarterback Change, Says Michael Vick
Usually, the clamoring for a change under center comes from fans and media, people who either don't know what they're talking about or haven't taken into account all the reasons for a team's struggles. A porous offensive line, or a defense that puts the quarterback into a position where he has to ta...
Randy McMichael Is The NFL's Most Impatient Player
Early in the fourth quarter of San Diego's eventual loss to the Browns, the Chargers offense (ineffectual for most of the day) managed to scrape together the ten yards necessary for a first down and keep a possible game-winning drive alive. The tension of the moment was too much for tight end Randy...
Maryland Will Start A Converted Linebacker At Quarterback Because Every Other Quarterback Is Out For The Year
Things are not going well for the signal callers at Maryland. In June, presumptive starter C.J. Brown went down with a torn ACL. Last week against N.C. State, backup Perry Hills also tore his ACL. Devin Burns then entered the game for the injured Hills and promptly suffered a Lisfranc injury. He is ...
This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....
How To Eat Halloween Candy: A Guide And A Power Ranking For Sad Adults
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, ...
Overhyped Northeast Media Shitstorms Converge As Analysts Predict Hurricane Sandy Will Somehow Lead To More Tim Tebow
The great thing about the northeastern part of the United States—the only part of the United States—is the way the region and its residents amplify the most of middling of things (think quarterbacks and weather events) into the only things in the world for a brief (long) period of time, thereby ass...
The <em>Philadelphia Inquirer</em>'s Story About Garrett Reid's Cause Of Death Includes Some Weird Speculation About A Stupid Conspiracy
So Garrett Reid, the oldest son of Eagles coach Andy Reid, officially died of a heroin overdose, according to a coroner's report that was released today. This is not surprising, considering Garrett's history of drug abuse and Andy's own statement days after Garrett's death, which strongly implied th...
How's That "Going For It On Fourth Down" Thing Going For San Diego State?
This August brought momentous news: San Diego State Aztecs head coach Rocky Long had done lost his mind, and would be implementing essentially the strategy all advanced football stats people have been stridently advocating since the dawn of advanced football stats. Long was going for it on fourth (i...
Albert Belle Wants To Be The Indians' Next Manager
The Indians have two pretty good candidates to helm the team next year, after firing Manny Acta with six games remaining. First, Sandy Alomar Jr., the bench coach who is acting as interim manager these last couple days—a beloved former Indian who was something of a field general dating back to his b...
How To Eat The New Candy Corn Oreo (Which Isn't As Gross As It Sounds)
Candy corn, folks at home: candy corn sucks. This is neither an ideological nor a conceptual complaint; that is to say, candy corn sucks not because it (almost certainly) originated in some steamy, foul-smelling, nightmarish industrial wasteland, or because it is artificially flavored, or because i...
Goalie Can't Make Save, Can Dive Face First Into Goal Post
New York Red Bulls teammates Thierry Henry and Dax McCarty hooked up for a nice goal off an Henry corner kick in the Red Bulls 3-1 win over the Columbus Crew. Poor Crew goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum made a hell of an effort to stop it, but he came up short....
Calvin Johnson Meets Randy Moss: Two Wide Receivers Bigger Than The Game
Sunday, the Detroit Lions go to Candlestick Park to play the San Francisco 49ers. It's an early season test for a pair of newly relevant teams. But much more importantly, it will be the first time that Calvin Johnson and Randy Moss have shared the field. The two receivers—Detroit's superstar and the...
Bristolmetrics: <i>SportsCenter</i> Spent 45 Straight Commercial-Free Minutes On Giants-Cowboys
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....
"Fuck You Tennis! I'm Trying To Watch <em>How I Met Your Mother</em>." Twitter Responds To The Novak Djokovic-Andy Murray U.S. Open Classic
Last night Andy Murry and Novak Djokovic played a 4 hour, 54 minute match, tied for the longest U.S. Open men's final ever. It was a gem. CBS scheduled the Monday match in the 4 p.m. slot to ensure tennis wouldn't bump into its primetime lineup. That didn't work. The nearly unprecedented match stret...
The U.S. Open Finally Gets A Classic: Andy Murray Is A Grand Slam Winner
Andy Murray always said his favorite Grand Slam was the U.S. Open. Something about the noise, the music, the late nights. It was a weird thing for a Scotsman to say, since he was not so subtly turning his back on Wimbledon, and the British fans....
Sean Connery Approves This Message
Sean Connery is watching the Novak Djokovic-Andy Murray U.S. Open men's final at Arthur Ashe Stadium this afternoon. Connery has been out in New York all weekend rooting hard for Murray, a fellow Scotsman. And after Murray won a point in that delirious first set of today's match? You're the man now,...
The Murray-Djokovic U.S. Open Men's Final Is On. Let's Watch.
Hey, it's time for a fifth straight U.S. Open men's final. Hopefully you're watching at work. Novak Djokovic is gunning for his second Grand Slam of the year; Andy Murray, fresh off Olympic gold, is going for his first. It'll be a battle of defense v. defense. Let's watch. Drop your thoughts in Kinj...
Smoke 'Em If You've Got 'Em: Your Late Games Viewing Guide
Man, what a rush. Everyone still alive? Season not over yet? Good, because we have four more games to go today, with three kicking off at 4:25 p.m. Let's keep this gravy train rolling. ...
Randy Moss Is Back In Green Bay Today
Randy Moss returns to the scene of a disgusting act this afternoon. His new team, the San Francisco 49ers will be visiting his old rival, the Green Bay Packers. Moss put up some impressive numbers in Green Bay. He also mimingly took down his pants. A lot of the players in today's game were playing h...