ant Page 356 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Apparently Made Up A Bizarre Story About Kobe Bryant And Heath Ledger
I know we already wrote about ESPN’s delightfully detailed account of the Lakers’ deep-seated institutional rot, but this phony story GM Rob Pelinka invented about Kobe Bryant and Heath Ledger is too good not to call specific attention to....
Mike Yastrzemski Disappoints Wife While Trying To Get To Second Base
Yet another relative of a Hall of Famer was promoted to the majors this past weekend. Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, got the call up to join the dysfunctional Giants on Saturday, where he made his debut against the Diamondbacks. Yastrzemski finally got the first hit of...
How The Hell Did Rudy Giuliani Select This Obscure Atlanta Hawks GIF?
Rudy Giuliani, a poorly preserved bog corpse, burped up a response of some kind to a video that was disrespectful to Nancy Pelosi....
A Good And Smart Preview Of A Wide-Open 2019 WNBA Season
Hockey is almost over, and the NBA is basically done, so now all we have to look forward to over these impending hot summer months is a World Cup, the ability to blast Bad Girls out of our apartment windows, and some goddamn WNBA basketball. That last thing starts tonight, folks! Let’s get to the pr...
Raptors Defense Pushes Bucks To The Toilet's Edge In Game 5 Upset
The Milwaukee Bucks, the best team of the 2018–19 regular season and by far the best team through the first two rounds of the playoffs, find themselves in the deepest of caca following a 105–99 loss to the Toronto Raptors in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Bucks will have to stave off e...
Kevin Durant Probably Won't Be Ready For Start Of NBA Finals, Will Have Time To Continue Posting
Here’s some news that, perhaps perversely, should increase interest in the upcoming NBA Finals:...
Chris Broussard Gets In His Car, Loudly Defends Himself From Kevin Durant
At some point on Wednesday, as nationwide support for the meteor intensified, Fox Sports scoopster Chris Broussard balanced his phone on the dashboard of his car and defended himself from Kevin Durant’s attacks on his credibility. At the end of the day, this is about ethics in pettiness....
Kevin Durant Still Hasn't Logged Off
Seen through the lens of his Drakification, Kevin Durant seems to have entered the “Jaded” period of his NBA career. In “Jaded,” Drake croons about an ex whom he is dismayed to see doing well without him. Durant likely feels similar watching the Warriors blow past their Western Conference opponents ...
How The Milwaukee Bucks And A Former Wedding DJ Won The T-Shirt Cannon Arms Race
There’s an arms race of sorts now taking place in sports arenas. Hence, the Quad....
Quit Smashing Giannis Into The Damn Wall Already
For a top-seeded team that rampaged through the regular season and the first two rounds of the playoffs at a nigh-historic level of dominance, the Milwaukee Bucks feature a dull-ass half-court offense. Often—dismally often—it’s just, well, this:...
Anthony Mantha Is Blazing A Path Of Destruction Through The World Championship
We’re just a few hours out from a hugely important, potentially decisive Western Conference Finals Game 6, so right now is obviously the perfect time to talk about how dominant this one Detroit Red Wings kid has been over in Slovakia. Yes, for all those fans who don’t have a team left in the playoff...
Kevin Durant Has Logged On
The biggest downside—or upside, depending on your point of view—to Kevin Durant’s clearly unmild calf injury is that he has more time to spend online. He was already extremely online, even if you’re only counting his main and not his dozen burners, but injured Durant has extra time to contemplate hi...
Kawhi Leonard Is Doing Everything A Player Could Be Asked To Do
Kawhi Leonard is no longer the defensive marauder he once was, maybe because he’s been saddled with Jordanesque duties on the other side of the ball. The Raptors’ sludgy tar-pit offense leaves Leonard no possession to catch his breath. Almost every trip down the floor, he’s relied upon to create som...
Santi Cazorla Completes His Resurrection By Earning A Spanish National Team Spot
The last time Santi Cazorla played for the Spanish national team, Donald Trump wasn’t President, Vine still existed, and Real Madrid only had one Champions League this decade. The date was November 14, 2015, and Cazorla had scored against England in a 2-0 friendly win. The wheels almost literally fe...
Idiot On The Field Runs Himself Into A Corner, Gets Leveled
If you are going to run onto a major league baseball field in the middle of a game, there are two keys to survival. The first is to always keep moving, and the second is to have an exit strategy. The fan who invaded the field at last night’s Braves game followed the first rule, but failed miserably ...
Vancouver Whitecaps Goalie Pulls Off Three Spectacular Saves In A Row
If there’s one thing better than a good goalkeeper boner, it’s a goalkeeper thwarting an attacking onslaught by turning into a brick wall. Think Tim Howard at the 2014 World Cup, or David de Gea last season (before his brain broke and he became sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit)....
This Is Boston's Chance To Get Anthony Davis, As Long As They Don't Fuck It Up
Annoyingly, the vile Boston Celtics might get what they wanted after all. While the draft lottery ended in the most frustrating fashion for every team involved except New Orleans, the Boston brain trust had to be ecstatic to see the main Anthony Davis trade asset (Zion Williamson) off the board. Tho...
The Knicks' Woes Have Taken Unexpected Forms
Shockingly, it wasn’t actually worth it in the end. ...
The NBA Would've Been Better Off Rigging The Draft Lottery
The NBA’s new odds format did the job of scrambling the draft order. Four teams played especially horrendous basketball last season, and of those four teams, three were bounced out of the draft’s top four selections. This was satisfying. The Cavaliers, represented by Nick Gilbert, dropped to fifth,...