ant Page 381 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Grayson Allen Ejected From Summer League Game For, You Guessed It, Being A Goon
Former Duke shithead Grayson Allen was part of the trade that sent Mike Conley from the Grizzlies to the Utah Jazz last month. You may have lost track of Allen in Utah, where he played just 38 games and spent a bunch of time in the developmental league, and you may therefore be surprised and disappo...
Marcus Morris Wipes Out Thousands Of Acres Of Transaction Market Confidence, Dumps Spurs For Knicks
In a move that has been described by some as a ruinous assault on, uhh, confidence in the transaction market, Marcus Morris has officially reneged on his verbal agreement to join the San Antonio Spurs in free agency, in order to sign a more lucrative contract with the New York Knicks....
Robot Umpire Performed About As Well As Human Umpire
Robot umps have finally made their way into pro baseball, and by all accounts they seem primed to make Angel Hernandez just a little less horrible at his job. A system known as TrackMan made its professional debut on Wednesday during the independent Atlantic League’s all-star game....
Manchester United Travel Halfway Around The World And Still Can't Escape Liverpool Fans' Trolling
If you had to point at a single day that represents the absolute nadir of being a 21st-Century Manchester United fan, you could make a strong case that today, July 11, 2019, is that day. The team itself is a joke. Their best player desperately wants out. Both the Red Devils’ biggest rivals are in pe...
Until There's A Contract, There's No Contract
Here is some weapons-grade stoogery, from The Athletic’s Jared Weiss:...
Soccer Idiots Agree: The USWNT Is Cool, VAR Is Not
It’s Independence Day, the day on which every American feels especially proud to be American, which also now means every taking it upon yourself, as an American, to make sure that every other American is behaving in a suitably proud way re: how American they are. In real life, this holiday mostly re...
Miscommunication Leads To Kevin Pillar Taking The Slowest Possible Hit-By-Pitch
Kevin Pillar wanted to call time during Wednesday’s game in San Diego, but home plate umpire Jeff Nelson didn’t grant it to him. That ended up benefitting the Giants outfielder, because Padres pitcher Luis Perdomo threw a hilariously soft pitch which ended up “plunking” the batter....
Former Giants Quarterback Jared Lorenzen Dead At 38
Former New York Giants and Kentucky Wildcats quarterback Jared Lorenzen died Wednesday of multiple health issues. He was 38....
Stephen A. Smith Says Kevin Durant Says Stephen A. Smith's Kevin Durant Reports Are Bullshit
Stephen A. Smith shared three spicy Kevin Durant reports on Wednesday’s episode of First Take. The least spicy of the three (since it’s three years old, now) had Durant, entering unrestricted free agency in the summer of 2016, telling several Thunder teammates to their faces that he would not be lea...
Enes Kanter Says The Blazers Gave Him Six Minutes To Consider Their Contract Offer
Enes Kanter signed a two-year, $10 million deal with the Boston Celtics yesterday, bringing an end to his short but feel-good tenure as a member of the Portland Trail Blazers. Kanter’s time in Portland may have gone on a little longer if the team hadn’t, according to Kanter, given him just a few min...
The Warriors Will Retire The Jersey Of A Guy Who Dumped Them For Kyrie Irving
Having lost Kevin Durant in free agency to Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, the Golden State Warriors announced Monday that Durant’s number-35 jersey will be effectively retired, for as long as Joe Lacob is in control of the team:...
The Florida Panthers Found Their Goalie
The reinvention of the Florida Panthers continued today with a massive new contract for free agent goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky, worth a reported $70 million over the next seven years. By signing the two-time Vezina winner and former Blue Jacket, the Panthers hope that they’ve captured a key ingredie...
Treat The Knicks Like What They Are
Kevin Durant could have chosen better than to make Brooklyn the new center of the universe. For example, he could have joined Kawhi Leonard in Toronto and taken on the entire National Hockey League at its very core by making basketball Canada’s new national pastime. I mean, it’s one thing to kick th...
The Knicks Didn't Even Get The Chance To Be Turned Down By Kevin Durant
This is NBA free agency as written by Aesop. It was reported, soon after Kevin Durant took his talents to Brooklyn, that the Knicks weren’t going to offer Kevin Durant a max contract because of injury concerns. The Knicks would certainly like you to believe that, anyway. Is it true? Maybe. But those...
The Knicks Didn't Think Kevin Durant Was Worth The Max
As if the universe required more proof of the sorry state of the organization’s existence, the New York Knicks have struck out on major free agency targets in a spectacular way. After claiming he knew of big-name free agents that wanted to play for the Knicks, and that the team would have a “very su...
Kevin Durant Is Joining The Nets And DeAndre Jordan Will Be There Too
The Brooklyn Nets might have just launched themselves to the top of the Eastern Conference thanks to two very powerful Woj bombs....
God Man, Fuck You Bret Stephens
In case you were busy actually enjoying your weekend, Jordan Peterson celebrity cruise attendant Bret Stephens went ahead and ruined everyone else’s by scribbling out a bunch of racist bumper sticker slogans in the New York Times. And this time, ol’ Bret did so without the veneer of preciousness tha...
I Went To SoHo To Find Kevin Durant And All I Found Was A Bunch Of Clothes I Can't Afford
Where in the world in Kevin Durant headed? is one of the most interesting questions in the NBA right now. Where in the world is Kevin Durant currently? is a much less compelling cousin of that question, but one we are somewhat better equipped to answer. Assuming that older brother Tony is posting hi...
Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today
The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...
The Lakers Are Really Going For it
The Lakers have cleared the decks. They’ve stripped away every player from the roster who they do not view as central to their next championship push. It turns out the list of remaining players is hilariously small and remarkably expensive, and before filling out the margins the Lakers very much ho...