ant Page 417 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Does The Panthers' Excuse For Cam Newton's Very Brief Concussion Exam Pass Muster?
The NFL and NFLPA are reportedly investigating the circumstances surrounding that massive hit to the brain Cam Newton took in the fourth quarter of yesterday’s loss to New Orleans. Newton was slow to get up after it happened. He fell to the ground as he left the field. He was tested for a concussion...
José Mourinho And Antonio Conte Are In An Outrageously Unprofessional And Deliciously Petty Beef
José Mourinho and Antonio Conte do not like each other. You might have picked up on this fact over the past week or so, seeing as the two managers have been openly slamming each other in the media like a couple rappers going verse-for-verse in a freestyle battle. The resulting insults have been as p...
René Magritte As Philosophical Detective
This essay was originally published in the Threepenny Review (1994), is featured in Sante’s anthology, Kill All Your Darlings, and appears here with the author’s permission....
Order The Veggie Burger With Bacon
More often than is smart, I find myself at a bar and desperately in need of sustenance with dwindling options. Maybe you’re an idiot like me, or maybe you work nights at a bar or restaurant and need to eat something satisfying that won’t knock you on your ass mid-shift. And when you ask a server if ...
For No Reason, Here's A Ridiculously Tight Cam Newton Throw
I flagged this yesterday in the hopes there’d be some larger context to use it today, but after the Saints’ 31-26 win over the Panthers, there’s really not. Which is fine! It’s fine to look at a cool throw for its own sake. This is a cannon....
Panthers Rally Around Disgraced Owner Jerry Richardson One Last Time
The Panthers were eliminated from the playoffs yesterday, meaning that owner Jerry Richardson’s active stewardship of the team has all but come to an end. Last month, Richardson put the team up for sale after it was revealed that he’d been accused of multiple instances of sexual harassment and racis...
Kawhi Leonard's Gonna Miss Some More Games
The injury that kept Kawhi Leonard out of last night’s Spurs-Blazers game is a “partial tear” in his left shoulder, according to coach Gregg Popovich....
Cam Newton Never Had A Chance
Cameron Jordan—Pro Bowler, first-team All-Pro, serious candidate for defensive player of the year—loves shit-talking the Panthers. The DE has had ample opportunity, with the Saints beating Carolina three times this season, including Sunday’s 31-26 playoff win. He’s gone back and forth with Cam Newto...
Cam Newton Sits Down While Trying To Leave The Field After Getting Sacked
Panthers QB Cam Newton took a head-on collision from David Onyemata while trying to avoid a sack in the fourth quarter of his game against the Saints. The hit looked painful on its own, but what’s especially concerning is what happened after. Newton initially tried to leave the field, but couldn’t m...
It Is Disgusting And Unfair That Giannis Is Making Clutch Jumpers Now
Giannis Antetokounmpo put up another absurd Greek Freak line Saturday night in a Bucks road victory over the Wizards: 34 points on 17 shots, 12 rebounds, seven assists, a couple steals, and a block. That’s the third time this season he’s put up at least 34 points on better than 70 percent shooting, ...
Melo Yells Two Of The Seven Dirty Words
The Thunder are rolling. After a rough start, they’ve now won eight of 10, and Thursday’s 127-117 win over the Clippers was exactly how it’s supposed to go: Russell Westbrook had his 13th triple-double of the season, Paul George led the team with 31 points, and Carmelo Anthony added 22, in doing so ...
The "Shit Bandit," A Mad Pooper Copycat, Torments Arkansas Household
A truly unfortunate woman in Little Rock, Ark. is the victim of one of the shittiest possible crimes: a mad poopening....
NFL Heiress Arrested After Sloppy Street Altercation
Jacqueline Kent Cooke, daughter of former Skins owner Jack Kent Cooke, was arrested last night after getting into an altercation with a man on an Upper East Side sidewalk....
Marquese Chriss Had A Heroic Game-Saving Block
The Phoenix Suns are basically toast in the Western Conference playoff race, and they were going up against the lowly Hawks at home last night. But that lack of high stakes doesn’t mean there can’t be any thrilling late-game drama....
Kevin Stallings To Heckler At Louisville Game: "At Least We Didn't Pay Our Kids $100,000"
Pittsburgh coach Kevin Stallings responded to a heckler at the end of tonight’s blowout loss to Louisville with a nice topical reference to the FBI sting that caught the Cardinals funneling $100,000 to former top recruit Brian Bowen: ...
Manu Ginobili Accidentally Passes Ball Straight Through The Hoop, Referees Don't Notice
In the closing seconds of tonight’s third quarter against the Knicks, Manu Ginobili tried lobbing a pass to LaMarcus Aldridge. But instead of getting the ball to Aldridge for the alley-oop, he put a little too much cheese on it and did something way cooler—he tossed it straight into the net. ...
319-Pound Defensive Lineman Da'Ron Payne Gets Interception, Catches TD Pass In Five-Minute Span
Alabama’s Da’Ron Payne pushes well past 300 pounds and bench presses 500. He is a large man. Here’s the large man catching two passes in five minutes—one of them from his own team, for a touchdown—and making us all very happy to be alive. Except for those of us who went to Clemson, and I didn’t go t...
Falcons Earn Another Chance To Spectacularly Choke In The Playoffs<em></em>
Most of you likely recall last year’s Super Bowl between Atlanta and New England, in which the Falcons somehow blew a 28-3 lead and let Tom Brady claim yet another championship. But many of you may also be shocked to hear that the Falcons weren’t immediately banned from all future postseasons after ...
Federal Court Strikes Down Asinine Rule Prohibiting High School Anthem Protests
The turds of the San Pasqual Valley Unified School District, in California, passed a rule this year prohibiting “kneeling, sitting or similar forms of political protest” during national anthem ceremonies at athletic events, because they are lame-brained suckers with tiny little meaningless existence...