ant Page 628 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Baseball Is Banning Melky Cabrera From Winning The Batting Title Because Baseball Sucks
A little over a month ago, Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games. Old farts got even more upset about it than they usually do, because, when the suspension hit, Cabrera was just a few points behind Andrew McCutchen for the National League bat...
How Those Robinson Cano PED Rumors Got Started
It started as a Twitter rumor, as these things tend to do. Yesterday afternoon, word spread that Robinson Cano had failed a drug test, and his PED suspension would be announced soon. Because similar rumors have recently turned out to be correct, and because Cano is a superstar and a Yankee and playo...
Chipper Jones Tries To Disguise How Fat He Is By Dressing As A Rookie Being Hazed
That's the conclusion we're drawing from this photo, which was tweeted yesterday by Braves pitcher Pete Moylan. Either that, or Chipper just dresses like that for every Braves road trip. Has to be one or the other....
Giants 36, Panthers 7: The Game In Three GIFs
This was a slow and deceptive win for the Giants, who run their record to 2-1. The defense played solid in the first half and allowed the Giants' offensive live to methodically dominate time of possession against the high-powered offense of Carolina. Even without starters Hakeem Nicks and Ahmad Brad...
<em>Vogue</em> Profiles A <em>Vogue</em>-Appropriate Version Of Tim Tebow
How does the nation's leading women's fashion magazine justify a profile of a homeschooled evangelical second-string football player? You Vogue him up, that's how. You make Tim Tebow into a style icon (when he's not) and a social butterfly who's eating up the New York party scene (when he's not). Yo...
Free Alex Smith's Hat!
Yesterday, Alex Smith revealed that the NFL has threatened him with $15,000 fines if he continues to wear his San Francisco Giants cap during press conferences. It's non-approved gear from a competing league, you see, and that's not cool. Postgame is prime time for marketing NFL products, and the le...
LSU Grandmas Still Do Keg Stands
Last year, when another Keg Stand Granny gave it the old college try at an LSU tailgate, there was plenty of spillage. But this 83-year-old sugarpie seems to have perfected her technique. Your move, old ladies of Alabama....
The NFL Will Fine Alex Smith For Wearing A San Francisco Giants Cap
Alex Smith grew up in La Mesa, outside San Diego, so it's not a surprise he used to wear a Padres cap at postgame press conferences. But Alex Smith used to be terrible, so something had to change. Last year, in the midst of a successful season, he switched to a Giants cap and used it as a good luck ...
Who Is The Blurry Guy In This Photo, And Why Did Manny Ramirez Steal His Pants? The Long Baseball Life Of "The Machete"
After Roger Clemens's first start in the Atlantic League, the Associated Press sent across the wires a photo of him in the middle of his lumpy follow-through, pitching to an out-of-focus batter at the plate. The Hall of Famer, of course, had dropped in to pitch for the Sugar Land Skeeters; his oppon...
The NHL Lockout's First Casualty: Florida Has Laid Off Mascot Stanley C. Panther
A work stoppage in sports, obviously, affects more than the players and owners. It takes a ton of people to make hockey go, from referees and broadcasters to concessionaires and janitors. And it's always the little guys who are first to go when the money stops rolling in....
Santonio Holmes Played Call-Your-Own-Fouls On Sunday With The Replacement Refs
Jets wide receiver Santonio Holmes did not do a very good job of getting open against Steelers corner Ike Taylor on Sunday. He had only three catches for 28 yards despite being targeted 11 times. Sometimes Holmes didn't make the catch because he was interfered with. And sometimes he didn't make th...
Which Rookie Quarterback Had The Most Poise After His Second Start?
Last week, Andrew Luck of the Indianapolis Colts showed the most poise out of all the rookie quarterbacks who played in Week 1, according to people who wrote about him. Did Luck maintain his grip on the poise title in Week 2? Or did any of the other four rookie quarterbacks—Robert Griffin III, Russe...
Some Jackass Made Blowjob Pantomimes Behind Home Plate At Wrigley For Nearly An Inning Before Getting Ejected
Weather delayed last night's Pirates-Cubs bout at Wrigley Field for several hours, and by the end of the 3-0 Pittsburgh win there weren't many fans left in the stadium. There was, however, one guy who really wanted to get on TV making blowjob faces....
Scab Ref Tells LeSean McCoy: "I Need You For My Fantasy Team"
It's an important distinction to note that most criticism of the replacement officials is directed not at them, but at the league for forcing it to come to this point. We know the refs are doing the best they can; we know they're just not prepared. (More than getting the calls right, memorizing the ...
Atlanta 27, Denver 21: The Game In Two GIFs
The officiating in this game was an absolute disaster. Just brutal. It was as if Drew's column earlier today sprouted legs and was playing out on our televisions. There was a point where it really looked like things were going to boil over and shit was going to get out of hand. Shit did not get enti...
Why Jump A Kneeldown? Because It Worked Two Years Ago
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Is It Poor Form To Literally Rip A Home Run Ball Out Of Another Fan's Hand?
This is from Anthony Rizzo's first of two home runs yesterday (the Pirates' collapse continues apace). I want to draw your attention not to the play, but to the two gentlemen in center, struggling over that all-important baseball. Who has the moral high ground, and the right to the ball?...
There's No Fighting In A Victory Formation; Or, Why Greg Schiano Is The Worst Kind of NFL Coach
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Idiot On The Field During Jacksonville Game Actually Outgained The Jaguars, Thanks To Security Ignoring Him
Late in yesterday's embarrassing Jaguars performance at home against the Texans, a presumably beer-fueled fan took to EverBank Field to perform the usual jackassery of an Idiot On The Field. As the crowd cheered his antics, though, yellow-shirted security completely ignored what was happening on t...
The Scab Refs Still Suck, And Roger Goodell Is Still A Hypocritical Shitstain
On Aug. 31, just a week or so prior to the kickoff of the new season, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a "note" to the public that was essentially a press release, a reminder to you, the NFL viewing public, that the league was going balls-out on player safety:...