ant Page 631 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jerry Jones Grounds Dez Bryant
Dez Bryant can't go to strip clubs anymore and has to be driven to practice and games by some omnipresent security force. He also has a midnight curfew, unless he tells the Cowboys that he will not be abiding the midnight curfew. With advance notice, of course....

Not Everybody Loves Derek Jeter, As Evidenced By This Old Man Giving Him The Handwank
The Yankees scraped past the Indians 3-1 last night in Cleveland, extending their AL East lead thanks in part to Derek Jeter's two hits....
![NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wziwoeubmmijpg.jpg)
NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports
The morning after the London Olympics came to a close, NBC Sports Network (né Versus, né Outdoor Life Network) premiered The 'Lights, described by the network as as "a catalyst for our new programming lineup" that "will quickly provide sports fans all of the scores and highlights they crave as they ...

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

The Soccer Fans Who Ought Least To Go Shirtless Always Do
The UEFA Champions League playoff is like a very long series of NCAA Play-In Games Opening Round Games; scrappy champions of small leagues and barely-qualified major league losers clash heads for the right to face the real "Champions" in the group stage....

Bart Scott Says Prince Amukamara Should Be Hazed More
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rookies should probably stay away from Bart Scott....

British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...

Melky Cabrera's Fake Website Sent MLB Investigators All The Way To The Dominican Republic
Can we all just take a second and appreciate how batshit insane Melky Cabrera's scheme to get out of a PED suspension really was? Like, legitimately incredible. In five years, it's going to be hard to believe this is a thing that actually happened. Like Jason Grimsley crawling through the Comiskey d...

Steven Jackson Will Crumple Like A Duraflame Log: The Deadspin 2012 NFC Fantasy Football Preview
I used to plan my fantasy football drafts meticulously. I used to create spreadsheets with my own personal rankings of players, established only after poring over any number of inexplicably pricey preseason fantasy guides (Eight dollars, Street & Smith's? BLOW ME) and scouring numerous online mock d...

Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...

Chipper Jones Calls Curt Schilling A "Shock Jock"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schilling says Jones might come back next year. Jones says Schilling is full of it....

Casino Fails To Shuffle Cards, Sues Gamblers Who Won $1.5 Million
A group of 14 people were huddled around a mini baccarat table at Atlantic City's Golden Nugget casino in August, when something strange started to happen. The same sequence of cards was dealt twice—then a third time, and a fourth, and so on. Gamblers aren't dumb: they upped their bets from the mini...

Here's Kobe Bryant Playing Electric Guitar, Scoring 68 Points in 15 Minutes
And both happened in China, which is the only way any of this makes sense. We were first alerted to this by Eye on Basketball and they have some details, culled from Kobe's facebook page....

Jason Pierre-Paul Dumps Prince Amukamara Into An Ice Bath, Sports Writer Loses His Ever-Loving Mind
I wish I could tell you this video, that ProFootballTalk posted during the Giants thrashing of the Jets is cause for "concern" in the New York Giants "locker room." Nothing would make me happier than to sit here and pound out a paragraph that suggests the Giants are on the verge of a team meltdown...

Barry Zito Sums Up His San Francisco Giants Career In One Pitch
There are expectations and then there is reality. The expectation, when the Giants signed Zito to a seven-year, $126 million contract, was that his time with the Giants would at least approximate his career to that point with the Athletics. Then, reality....

Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...

The Crime Dog Rips Melky Cabrera A New One
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fred McGriff has no sympathy for Melky....

Who Is The World's Most Recognizable Athlete?
Saw this photo over at TBJ, of Kobe Bryant making an appearance on his annual Nike tour of China, and it's no surprise. China loves Kobe. Loves him. That's a billion people who go nuts at the very sight of Bryant, a global superstar for 15 years now. It got me thinking: who's the most recognizable a...

Guantanamo Detainee Wants LeBron James To Apologize To Cleveland
Afghan Muhammed Rahim, a former translator for Osama Bin Laden, spent a long time in a CIA secret prison before being moved to Guantanamo Bay in 2008. Which is to say, he hasn't had a lot of time to check in with NBA League Pass. But even Rahim couldn't let "The Decision" pass by without a comment....
