ant Page 674 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Here's Victor Cruz Making An Even More Ridiculous Juggling Catch In The Giants-Seahawks Game
Eli Manning should probably buy Victor Cruz something nice after making a catch like this....

Kobe Has A Kwame Brown Story, And It's A Very Kwame Brown Story
The highlight of Kwame Brown's Los Angeles tenure was escaping charges for theft and wanton destruction of a chocolate cake. Kobe Bryant's highlight of Kwame Brown's Los Angeles tenure was when Kwame Brown was traded away....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Tony "Horny Little Bitch" Romo Evisceration
The mighty Knox City Greyhounds got back on the right side of the scoreboard by defeating the Woodson Cowboys 46-0. A marvelous victory. A redemptive victory....

The Best Of Grantland, Now Available In $20 Leather-Bound Edition
If you've been thinking, "Grantland is cool and all, but it would be so much more enjoyable in a $20 leather-bound quarterly published by McSweeney's," then holy shit, you should go work in publishing immediately. Comes complete with a running diary of Hoosiers from you-know-who. [McSweeney's, via O...

The Arizona Cardinals Got Jobbed By An Old Rugby Rule
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

In Praise Of Football Stupidity
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

This 6-Foot-4, 320-Pound NFL Player Drives A Hello Kitty Convertible Smart Car
Chargers DT Antonio Garay was just fined $15,000 by the NFL for a hit below the knee on Tom Brady in Week 2, but he will be laughing all the way to the bank, because he drives a tiny car with a Hello Kitty on it and tweets pictures of it all the time. So, ha!...

Matt Bryant Had His $3,000 Golf Clubs Stolen By His Chinese Food Deliveryman
"'He went into the open garage, took the clubs, delivered the food and went on his way,' said Braselton Police Assistant Chief Lou Solis." [AJC, via Larry Brown Sports]...

Dan Uggla Celebrated His Home Run Last Night By Dong-Bumping David Ross (Video)
Uggla had just hit a two-run homer off Cole Hamels in the bottom of the third to put the Braves ahead, 3-1. There was a playoff spot riding on this game, of course, so there was reason to be excited. But ... what was that?...

SprtsCntr: The Collapses Were Epic, And So Were the Clichés
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

And Your MLB Wild-Card Teams Are The St. Louis Cardinals And The Tampa Bay Rays
The Cardinals beat the Astros 8-0 behind Chris Carpenter's complete game two-hitter. Sounds simple. But the rest wasn't. They'd have to wait a while to get all all celebratory in the locker room....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...

The Ups And Downs Of Sidney Crosby's Scrambled Brain
Our old friend Katie Baker has published an exhaustive timeline of Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby's concussed 2011 at Grantland.com. Take those things out of your ears and go read it! [Grantland]...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

SprtsCntr: The Wild-Card Races Tie It All Together
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Screw You, And Screw Your Man Card
I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic l...

Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...