ant Page 696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lenny Dykstra Won't Dispense Stock Tips And Autograph Balls For $35 At A Mall Today After All
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: WEC Goes Out With Some Matrix-Style Shit
Most MMA organizations fade away for want of money or attention or quality, crushed under the thumb of the largest promotions. But WEC was good enough to merge with UFC, so last night it had a chance to say a face-cracking goodbye....

Ray Lewis Wants To Snuggie With You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Merry Christmas, From Some Northern Irish Hockey Players Singing Mariah Carey
The Belfast Giants are currently leading the UK's Elite Ice Hockey League. But that's not enough for them this holiday season, because all they want for Christmas is you....

Even Papa John's Has Given Up On The Redskins
The chain used to offer a free topping for each touchdown, and double that if the Redskins won. Fans must've gotten tired of plain cheese pizza, because they pulled a random Ryan Torain tie-in out of their ass instead. [DCSportsBog, TV3]...

For Your Between-Games Entertainment, Video Of A Camel Falling In Church
I feel compelled to share this disclaimer: "No wise men were harmed in the production of this church's Christmas play, nor were any involved in the planning." (H/T Crackerman) ...

Jose Canseco Officially Entered The End Stages Of Desperation
If you thought the whole "Call me now" development was the limbo lowest, you were wrong. Around 2 a.m. EST, Jose Canseco declared, "I will not give up the dream of playing in the majors again, I just can't."...

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
The Giants heading to Minnesota was probably the most interesting game of this batch. But then, it snowed. Thank Jebus the fantasy playoffs start this week....

Metrodome Roof Collapsed, Just Like The Dreams Of The Vikings Fans It Shelters (Updated With New Picture And Interior Video)
A 20-inch snowstorm damaged a pair of panels on the roof of the Metrodome overnight, so the dome was intentionally deflated this morning....

Your Cam Newton Heisman Coronation Open Thread
Around 8 p.m., University of Oregon running back LaMichael James, Stanford University quarterback Andrew Luck and Boise State University quarterback Kellen Moore will all lose the Heisman Memorial Trophy to Auburn's Cam Newton....

Keith McCants Got Arrested On Crack-Related Charges Again
In 1990, the Tampa Bay Buccanners made Keith McCants the number four pick in the NFL draft. Didn't really work out. Yesterday, he logged his sixth drug-related arrest since Feb. 2008....

Despite Snub, Cam Newton Still Loves His Dad
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...

Thrashers/Islanders Game Targeted For Quebec Relocation Rally
Nassau Coliseum isn't just for hockey. It's hosted a number of empty seat conventions this year, and Saturday night will be the destination for busloads of Quebecois, looking to raise support for the return of the Nordiques....

Antoine Walker Airballs Free Throw, Nails Metaphor In D-League Debut
Flat broke, Walker signed a low-5-figure deal with the Idaho Stampede. He scored 13 in his debut last night, but we think this shot is a more appropriate highlight. [h/t Dan]...

Last Night's Winner: Not The Jews
The Panthers had heavily hyped their Hanukkah celebrations last night, including promising a Panther yarmulke to all in attendance. Only a few thousand walked away with one. Who would have thought there would be so many Jews in South Florida?...

Last Night's Winner: The Cam Newton Protest Vote
At least six media members have come forward to say they won't be voting for Cam Newton, the best player in the world, because of the allegations against him. What's the point?...

The Dougie Is Dead, And Drew Stanton Killed It
After a long illness, The Dougie passed away at 1:40 yesterday afternoon. Drew Stanton was by its side. In lieu of flowers, please send ideas for a new novelty dance....

Scandal! Ohio State Paid For Evan Turner's Braces
There's a well-meaning NCAA program that made $54 million — $500k for OSU — available to players via a "Special Assistance Fund." It's a lovely idea that's sure to be abused in the next big college scandal. [The Lantern, h/t Dan]...

German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....