ant Page 696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Arm Wrestling Becomes Attempted Murder
A Florida man went nutso after losing an arm wrestling match, driving his pickup truck into a crowd and holding a rifle to the head of the guy who beat him. Seems reasonable. [TCPalm, via Weed/Speed]...

If Sideline Princess Is Already Taken, Jenn Brown's Friend Has A Promising Career As An Alcoholic Luchadora
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Tomlinson Fan Wears Adult Diapers in Brooklyn. Why?
I'd know the answer if the fan in question was Namath sans cell-phone waist-unit. But it's not....

A's Ballboy Scores Chick Using Four-Balls Trick
You'd think the Oakland Athletics would plaster embed links of their first attention-worthy event since Canseco pumped McGwire's ass full of inject-a-juice far and wide. Not the case. So, here's an excerpt of the story ......

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

Last Night's Loser: Drama-Loving U.S. Open Fan, Third Row
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...

Last Night's Winner: Antonio Cromartie's Seed
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Antonio Cromartie's many many children, who each got a mention on last night's Hard Knocks, even if he had to use his fingers and toes to count them....

How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

Blacks Totally Outrank Gays on the Whitlock Oppression Scale (W.O.S.)
You know that whole "analogy comparing black people's fight for equal rights and gay people's"? Well, it makes Jason Whitlock "uncomfortable." So knock it off, gay people. Gay bashers, too....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The 2010 Deadspin NFC Fantasy Football Preview
Every year, Andy Behrens of Yahoo and I preview the upcoming fantasy season by going through every team in the NFL. All killer, no filler. Listen here. Join us, won't you?...

Remembering The Greatest Basebrawl Of All Time
Twenty-six years ago today, the Braves and the Padres decided to forgo their obligations of playing baseball and instead sporadically cleared their benches and punched each other in the face. It's one of the best baseball fights ever, if not the best....

And That'll Do It For Chipper
Chipper Jones's season (career?) is over after an MRI revealed a torn ACL. And with that, the last Larry standing in the majors is Dewayne Wise. [AJC]...

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...