ant Page 754 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hey Steve, Have This Souvenir Cup!
The fans in Carolina are so polite. After sitting through an exciting Monday Night Football game and then being forced to do a lengthy SportsCenter wrap up, Steve Young was clearly too busy to run to the concession stand and get a tasty soda. So some helpful Panther backer decided to gently toss his...
Jeff Garcia Awaits Your Scrutiny In The Comments
I've been a fan of Jeff Garcia since his little 2006 playoff run with the Eagles and will continue to be one until he finally, mercifully retires. He's not the flashiest guy, wasn't blessed with a big arm, and is particularly unimposing when he's photographed in black and white with freckle-splashed...
Visanthe Shiancoe Becomes A Big, Bright, Shining Star
For the second Sunday this season I received a text message regarding an unlucky football player's unleashed member. Granted, KOGOD's "Locker room cock pic. Any thoughts?" message was less frantic than poor Tanner Cooley's after his brother's unfortunate slip-out, but it was still memorable in the s...
America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...
FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
Each day ESPN sifts through its finest reader comments, and chooses the most enlightening example to feature on its home page. This is one of those comments....
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
Plaxico Burress Saga Turning Into Awful Russian Novel
This web of lies that is surrounding Plaxico Burress and his ventilated right thigh just keeps getting wider and stickier. As of this morning, it has now ensnared his wife, two doctors, an entire hospital, half of New York's backfield, and the guy who lights the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center....
Please Watch Your Footing NHL Fans; We Can't Afford To Lose Any Of You
Here is palatial Scotiabank Place, home of the Ottawa Senators and, unfortunately, the scene of a rather spectacular accident on Wednesday night in the upper deck. As the Sens toiled against the Atlanta Thrashers below, a gentleman was lugging beers to his seat when he stumbled and went a-sailin' cl...
In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...
Colbert: It's High Time The Government Stays Out Of Our Sweatpants
If you think you've considered all angles of the Plaxico Burress story, think again. Stephen Colbert provides food for thought in this segment from Tuesday's Colbert Report, in which he asks the perfectly reasonable question, why should a consensual act between a man and his semiautomatic Glock hand...
Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...
Jon Stewart Reports That Sweatpants Do Not Make A Good Holster
I'm a little surprised that The Daily Show didn't break in with weekend coverage of the Plaxico Burress story; the whole thing seems cobbled by comedy elves just for Jon Stewart. Finally on Monday he was able to jump on it, and while not as good as Dash's efforts on this story, Stewart did not disap...
Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...
Illegal Contact, Packers, 15 Yards And Automatic Loss Of Beer
It's two days later, and all of North Carolina is still in a lather over this Packers fan, who took exception to the Panthers' DeAngelo Williams tossing his touchdown footballs to Carolina fans in the front row of the end zone stands at Lambeau. This one was completed, but the next one was successfu...
Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...
Miserable Stephon Marbury Gives Thanks to Knicks by Ripping D'Antoni's Dog-Walking Skills
The Knicks are quietly stumbling toward legitimacy this season under Mike D'Antoni, but still can't seem to peacefully rid themselves of the one player who embodies their past failures, Stephon Marbury. D'Antoni even extended an olive branch toward Steph by offering him a starting job, but that didn...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Matt Ryan Has Won Some of the Black Vote in Atlanta
Interesting story in the New York Times today about Falcons' quarterback Matt Ryan and how he's slowly winning over the large percentage of African-American Falcons' fans, many of whom were decidedly pro-Mike Vick. The timing is excellent too, given that Vick might be coming to a football stadium ne...
Rinku And Dinesh Hit Big Time, Will Soon Be Rolling In Rupees
Remember Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, the Indian teenagers who had a tryout for Major Leage Baseball scouts a few weeks back? The pitchers flew to California to work out in San Francisco and then show their stuff at USC, with the hopes of landing a major league contract. Crazy, right? Neither had e...