ant Page 780 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Braves Know What Their Fans Want
After all this super-secret-memo and banned-monologue business today, it's probably fitting to wrap matters up with something we can all come together on: BEER....
Michael Vick Indicted On Dogfighting Charges
Well, so much for our man Ron Mexico scrambling away from those dogfighting allegations: He was just indicted....
Everywhere You Look, Pants Parties
We had a grand time at the Philadelphia Pants Party this weekend; it was oddly less drunken than usual — might have been the crushing heat, or perhaps just the Mamula sandwiches — but as grand as we could have hoped. We are consistently amazed by how nice everyone is at all these; we've been to four...
Adam Laroche Knows Comedy
You know, it's really difficult to find a species of human being with a more refined sense of humor than a professional baseball player. Hell, the Padres all urinate on each other, after all....
The Matchup You've Waited For: Bonds Vs. Laundry Cart
We take you now to the Giants' clubhouse at Dodger Stadium, where Barry Bonds has a few words about his second straight 0-for-5 performance in a 5-3 loss to the Dodgers: "It's an embarrassment for me to be wearing this (expletive deleted) uniform 'cause of the way I'm playing. There, that's it. Now ...
It's Philly Pants Party Eve
A reminder to those coming along for the Philadelphia Pants Party tomorrow: Be ready for booze. (And dudes.)...
Lonny Baxter Does Not Trust The Postal System
One would think, after that whole firing weapons outside the White House thing, former Maryland "forward" Lonny Baxter would be careful with the transport of his weapons in the future. One would be wrong....
Barry Bonds' Last Friends In The World
Bud Selig can take some solace in the world: Not everyone is gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over Barry Bonds' impending destruction of Hank Aaron's home run record....
Worry Not, Everybody: You'll Be Seeing Plenty Of Bud Selig
We know that you, like us, have been on your proverbial pins and your proverbial needles wondering whether or not baseball commissioner Bud Selig would attend the game in which Barry Bonds destroys our collective faith in humanity by breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. Wonder no longer!...
Chandler: This Year You Are Mine, Dan Patrick
If you are reading this, Dan Patrick, let's clear the air on this interview nonsense right away. To put it bluntly, last year you snubbed me. You were the only player at the Lake Tahoe American Century Golf Championship to do so — I even talked with Mike Schmidt. Mike freakin' Schimdt....
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
Greg Oden Can Only Improve On His Foul Trouble From Here
I knew there was an underlying reason notable tall dude Greg Oden went to the NBA after one year in college. It couldn't have been just the money, or the chance to be picked No. 1 overall. No, It had to be for the NBA rule that you foul out after six, not five like in college. Or maybe it was the al...
The Adventures Of Chip And Dale
OK, so maybe the Atlanta Braves career home run leaders list isn't the most imposing statistical group in baseball (Ryan Klesko is in the top 10). But Chipper Jones is No. 1, and you can't take that away from him ... at least until Jeff Francoeur passes him in 2012. Jones hit homers from both sides ...
Vote Neshek, Everybody!
Twins reliever Pat Neshek is having a rather outstanding year, with an ERA at 1.37 and pitching in that submarine way we always find charming. He's actually one of the five finalists for the last American League All-Star spot, voted on by fans on MLB.com. And he's unleashing his secret weapon to bri...
Please Do Not Protest Bonds In Sign Form
Now that San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams aren't going to jail for their stories about Barry Bonds, they're getting awfully cocky: They're now exposing the Orwellian practice of shutting down anti-Bonds signs at baseball stadiums....
Danny Almonte's Big League Dreams
So this is sad: Danny Almonte, the onetime Little League World Series legend who turned out to be older than everyone had sad — and ended up marrying a woman 11 years his senior — is gonna need himself a new career....
If Only Mike Cooper Called New York City Home...
It's a sad commentary on the state of the summer sports scene that one of the most important things happening today (other than the Arena Football playoffs, of course) is this Mustache Madness tournament going on at Keyboard Quarterbacks....