are Page 109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fans Get Too Turnt When Gareth Bale Scores Winner, Start Wrecking Shit
European national teams are competing in Euro 2016 qualifiers today, and so the tiny, sucky nation Wales were tasked with traveling to the smaller, suckier nation of Andorra today. Wales are bad, but they were supposed to win comfortably. Still, it took an 81st-minute free kick from superstar Gareth...
How To Make Creamy Polenta, Which Puts The "Gruel" Back In "Grueling"
There's no way around it: Making real, from-scratch creamy polenta is a pain in the ass. Right from the jump: You have to find the right kind of cornmeal, and it's annoying; then you have to cook it for a long time, and that is also annoying; and god, what if you fuck it up, after all that, won't...
Fisherman Pulls Monstrous Nightmare Shrimp Out Of Ocean
Try to see how long you can stare at this gigantic monster shrimp before becoming wildly uncomfortable and convinced that something totally just crawled across the back of your neck. What if I told you that its eyes are on stalks and can move independently from each other? ...
Kliff Kingsbury Morphing Into Charlie Weis Is Quite Disturbing
The Big 12 has a commercial with some of the conference's coaches morphing into each other, and that's how we get Kliff Kingsbury turning into Charlie Weis. This transformation can actually happen if Kingsbury screws up every major decision in his future. Don't do that, Kliff. You're too handsome to...
Report: Tarp Failure Due To Cubs Not Wanting To Pay For Obamacare
The Chicago Cubs are, from the sound of it, very stingy bosses. ...
Kid Asks Jamie Carragher The Only Luis Suárez Question Worth Asking
A kid at a soccer camp asked Jamie Carragher, former Liverpool teammate of the bitey Luis Suárez, if Suárez ever sank his teeth into him. Carragher gave no answer except for a laugh. Kid should have followed up....
NFL Ref Refused To Work Washington Games Because Of Racist Name
Mike Carey was an NFL referee for 19 seasons before joining CBS to act as the network's rules analyst during NFL broadcasts. On Monday, Carey told the Washington Post's Mike Wise that he hasn't worked a Washington game since 2006, after specifically requesting that he not be assigned to their games ...
A Compilation Of People Fucking Up The Ice Bucket Challenge
My thoughts on the ice bucket challenge are complicated and not worth going into here. My thoughts on people falling down, bashing themselves over the head, and otherwise harming and embarrassing themselves are much simpler: I am staunchly pro-slapstick. ...
Enormous Jared Lorenzen Poses With Enormous Kentucky Lineman
Jared Lorenzen is doing fine, in case you were wondering. He posted a photo of himself with Matt Elam, the behemoth of a freshman defensive lineman for Kentucky. The man who was a professional quarterback roughly seven months ago is on the left....
Hey, This Ariana Grande Album Cover Doesn't Make Any Sense
This is the cover for Ariana Grande's upcoming album, My Everything. It doesn't make any sense, and it's freaking me out, man....
Why Pitchers Will Always Suck At Hitting
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering casual fans, racist neighbors, old porn, and more....
Behold The Horrifying Future Of NFL In-Game Advertising
Enter the Toyota Red Zone! There is no escape from the Toyota Red Zone! You will die in the Toyota Red Zone!...
That Image Of "Paul George's X-Ray" Isn't Really His
You pretty much know what an X-ray of Paul George's compound leg fracture from Friday night might look like. But lots of folks wanted to see scans of his specific snapped tibia and fibula. So, starting this weekend, this image started making the rounds:...
How Not To Reform The NCAA
There will be no new release of an EA NCAA Football game this year. The man most frequently blamed for this is a former UCLA basketball star named Ed O’Bannon, who had the temerity to sue the NCAA and EA for using his image without asking permission and without negotiating to pay for it. ...
Here's A "Cute" Video That Will Just Completely Ruin Your Day
This video is fucked up, man....
Cop Gets Pushy With Rockies Bro; Rockies Bro Becomes American Hero
The temptation is to say there are no winners here, what with the cop getting needlessly pushy and the bro trying to summon James Madison from his grave with his slurring bluster about injustice. But you know what? Fuck this. We're on Team Bro here....
Please Calm Down, Anderson Varejao Did Not Cut His Hair
Oh shit! Did Cleveland Cavs big man Anderson Varejao get rid of his beautiful Sideshow Bob hair? It looked so good, dude. Why'd you shear it off?...
"Next Week ... Is My Seventh Funeral For Someone Younger Than Me"
Drew Magary's piece this week on over-competitive kids (and parents) mentioned Fairfax, Va.'s prestigious W.T. Woodson High School, where six students have committed suicide in the past three years. Below is a lengthy, remarkable letter we've received from Ryan Mull, a recent Woodson graduate. ...