are Page 156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NCAA Expands To Canada; Can University Of Phoenix Online Be Far Behind?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Fond Remembrance Of The Night Nolan Ryan Kicked Robin Ventura's Punk Ass
Today, as you know, is the 16th anniversary: "It was 46 year old Nolan Ryan knocking the Sam-Hell out of a 25 year old wet behind the ears pup. You know dads all over America smiled that night ..." [Diamondhoggers.com]...

Arena Football Will Not Come Back To You
The president of the Tampa Bay Storm announced (via Facebook) that the AFL "will not be returning." Probably ever. Surprisingly, not playing the 2009 season didn't help to turn things around! Does this mean they file for Chapter 5.5 bankruptcy?...

A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....

Arena Football Team Bounced From Playoffs Due To Bounced Check
The Albany Firebirds make the AFL2 playoffs after the actual No. 8 seed, Florida Firecats, are disqualified because they owe the league $200,000. I guess Arena Football teams are not exactly cash cows. Sorry....firecows. [Times-Union]...

Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...

Turn Your Child Into A Sabermetric Nerd This Summer
One way you can prevent summer delinquency? "Help children track scores and favorite players' statistics." For a cookie as a reward, have them explain EqA to you. [KPHL]...

Suddenly, Everyone Cares About Delaware Again
The NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB and NCAA—what no UFL?—have joined forces to sue Delaware in the hopes of stopping their new state gambling law. Delaware can't have this one thing? They don't ask for much! [ESPN/USA Today]...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

Jeremy Mayfield Likes Fire, 'Splosions
We're not saying that Jeremy Mayfield's meth-fueled race car stepmom drama makes him (and his sport) look like some sort of redneck version of Hamlet….but this video of him blowing up gas cans doesn't help....

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry
OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse....

They Call Him MISTER Pig
Because Deadspin hasn't nearly covered Furries enough this month (exhibits A and B), here's Green Bay's Nick Barnett with some new friends. [Twitter, via reader Tim]...

Rick Pitino Didn't Do That Thing Karen Sypher Said He Did, Probably
Louisville police will not prosecute Rick Pitino for whatever it is Karen Sypher allegedly tried to blackmail him with. So I guess we'll never get a steamy "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama starring the saucy Cardinals coach....

The Sports News On A Sportsless Day
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Delaware Blue Hen Gets Stabby, Arrested
The University of Delaware's top wide receiver was arrested for a stabbing, except he was the stabbee. Except maybe he wasn't. Unless he was the stabber. It's complicated. Let's go down the rabbit hole....

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...

The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Pray For The Arena Football League
Bon Jovi and his fellow owners are working to keep the AFL afloat, even phone chatting at 7 p.m. each night, but he said chances of survival are "50-50." Also, the CFL kicks off tonight. Happy Canada Day! [Fifth Down]...