are Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fuck Sports Bottles<em></em>
I thought I was done. My kids were no longer babies, which meant no more formula, which meant no more time laboring at the sink, hand-washing 90 separate Dr. Brown’s bottle parts and leaving them soaking on a dishtowel to dry. That part of my life, as far as I was concerned, was over....
Wait, Do The Rams Actually Have An Offense Now?
Remember way back in December of 2016, not even a year ago, when the Rams were the most embarrassing team in football? Remember when star running back Todd Gurley was putting together a sophomore slump for the ages and saying things like, “we looked like a middle school offense out there.” Remember ...
No Justice For Good Boys
“WHORE the ramparts, weeee watched...” Some lady was singing the national anthem. “WHORE the lan-nnddd of the freeee...” We don’t care about that. We don’t care about any of that. We only want the Grade-A violence, now. ...
Gareth Bale's Still Got It
It’s more than a little insane to think that Gareth Bale—after four seasons at Real Madrid in which he has played 150 matches and amassed a mind-boggling combined 118 goals and assists, in that time asserting himself as a perennial top 10 player in the world with an unrivaled combination of speed an...
Adalaide Byrd Will Now Only Be Issuing Baffling Scorecards In Unimportant Fights
Gennady Golovkin and Canelo Alvarez put on a hell of a show on Saturday night. You could make a case that either fighter won the fight, and before the scorecards came out people were already talking rematch....
Kareem Hunt Is Still Fast
Rookie sensation and Patriot-defeater Kareem Hunt didn’t have a blisteringly fast start to his second career game today, but luckily, he’s got some pretty good acceleration. In the third quarter against the Eagles, Hunt sliced through the Philly defense and made himself impossible to catch, giving K...
Adalaide Byrd Must Have Slept Through The Middle Rounds
Saturday night’s middleweight bout between Gennady Golovkin and Canelo Alvarez was a good one. The two judges who didn’t shock and appall viewers with their scorecards had it as a close one—Dave Moretti had it as a narrow (115-113) Golovkin win, while Don Trella had it as a 114-114 draw. All three j...
Stephen A. Smith, Teddy Atlas Lose Their Minds Arguing Canelo-GGG Outcome
ESPN boxing analyst Teddy Atlas went berserk arguing the future of boxing with Stephen A. Smith tonight after judge Adalaide Byrd once again turned in a bizarre and suspicious 118-110 scorecard in favor of Canelo Álvarez at the end of the bout that was officially judged a split draw....
Canelo Álvarez And Gennady Golovkin Fight To Mighty Draw
The IBF, IBO, WBA, and WBC world middleweight titles will not be changing hands after Saúl “Canelo” Álvarez found himself unable to deal Gennady Golovkin his first career loss as a professional, settling for interrupting the Kazakh’s 37-0-0 record with a dazzling display that left both fighters unsa...
Who Is Saúl "Canelo" Álvarez?
Saúl “Canelo” Álvarez may be the world’s most popular boxer, and yet he has a problem: He lacks credibility among the sport’s largest fan bases, Mexicans and, increasingly, Mexican-Americans. Questions about Álvarez’s boxing skill extend beyond these two groups, but since he is Mexican, attempting t...
Referee Almost Hit By Huge Flare Fired From The Stands
Today’s Champions League match between NK Maribor and Spartak Moscow was briefly interrupted after a fan in the Spartak section fired a flare onto the pitch, narrowly missing the head referee....
Banned Golf Phenom Returns To Links, Keeps Winning
After a bizarre, court-ordered ban from golf, a preteen golf prodigy in suburban Washington, D.C., has returned to the sport, and has picked up right where she left off....
Charles Oakley Sues James Dolan, Doesn't Hold Back
Knicks legend Charles Oakley filed a suit in federal court Tuesday regarding a Feb. 8 incident where he was handcuffed, arrested, and hauled screaming out of Madison Square Garden during the first quarter of a game against the Clippers. The Knicks later released a statement accusing Oakley of “highl...
Hello, Kareem Hunt
The Patriots got shoved into a trash compactor last night, and watching it felt wonderful. Alex Smith’s passable and shocking Aaron Rodgers impression may have been the most impressive part of the Chiefs’ performance, but the part that was the most fun to watch was rookie running back Kareem Hunt ma...
Patriots Eat Shit In Front Of God And Everyone
At the end of the third quarter tonight, the Patriots led the Chiefs by a score of 27-21. They proceeded to roll over and die. They gave up 21 points in the fourth, letting Kansas City run away with a 42-27 victory for the worst beating New England’s endured in recent memory....
Show Us Your Fantasy Football Team
The NFL season kicks off tonight, and with the return of real football comes the start of the fantasy football season. So show us what you’re working with....
Las Vegas Police Union Releases Insane, Flag-Humping Statement About Michael Bennett
This is exactly what Roger Goodell created for his NFL: the belief that NFL investigations can solve everything. That’s why today the Las Vegas police union sent him the whiniest letter asking the commissioner to investigate Seahawks player Michael Bennett, who said he was profiled, wrongly handcuff...
Want To Avoid Getting Screwed On Arena Deals? Look To Seattle.<em></em>
Nine years ago, Seattle’s sports scene was in about as dire circumstances as a city can get. The owner of the SuperSonics, Starbucks mogul Howard Schultz, had thrown a hissy fit over Washington’s refusal to gift him $220 million to renovate an arena that had just been renovated 11 years earlier, and...
The NFL Is Eating Itself
Here’s a good joke that’s becoming more accurate every day:...
The Tigers Gave Up The Absolute Worst Dinger You Can Even Imagine
I want to show you just the worst dinger you are likely to see in this or any other year. It happened in the first inning of today’s Tigers-Indians game. Are you ready? I mean I really want you to get ready for this one. Here goes:...