are Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Browns Charge Job-Seekers Up To $105 To Enter Useless "Career Fair"<em></em>
The Cleveland Browns hosted a career fair last weekend that, in keeping with the Browns’ reputation, did not actually offer many jobs, and left multiple paid attendees feeling cheated....
U.S. Soccer Announces Bruce Arena As New USMNT Manager
Just a day after firing Jurgen Klinsmann, U.S. Soccer has already come to an agreement with his successor, and it’s exactly who everyone knew it would be. Bruce Arena is once again the USMNT manager....
Jeff Fisher Pleased With Jared Goff's Ability To Perform Basic Functions
No. 1 overall pick Jared Goff finally made his first start at quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams yesterday, and he looked a lot like the player we saw in the preseason, which is to say he was kind of butt....
Eddie Alvarez Explains His Loss To Conor McGregor: "I Fucking Blew It"
Eddie Alvarez was completely dominated by Conor McGregor during their lightweight championship bout on Saturday. On his Instagram account today, Alvarez offered a succinct and depressing explanation for the loss:...
Amar'e Stoudemire Gave The Ref His Glasses So He Could See Better
In August, Amar’e Stoudemire retired from the NBA and signed with Hapoel Jerusalem, an Israeli club he co-owns. “It’s also a spiritual journey as well. The next phase of my career—people have documented my journey with the Holy Land the last six years, the interest in playing in Israel. That dream ...
It's Goff Time, Motherfuckers
Strap the fuck in, because the 4-5 Los Angeles Rams finally gave us a reason to watch their quest for 7-9. Finally, after months of dithering, Jeff Fisher has made the move. Case Keenum? Benched! First overall draft pick Jared Goff? Ready as shit....
This Week In Jeff Fisher Refusing To Blame His Quarterback
I’d like to apologize to you on behalf of sports if you watched yesterday’s 9-6 Rams win over the Jets, a game that seemed absolutely destined to be a tie and didn’t end up with even that novelty to recommend it. The Jets are so unwatchable that they flexed Tom Brady out of primetime, but let’s not ...
How Are You Keeping It Together?<em></em>
I slept two hours Tuesday night and woke up with feeling some of the worst grief of my life and no substantial way to alter its source. I ate nothing but an açai bowl and most of a family size bag of nacho cheese Doritos. I went outside once, briefly, and it was drizzling and shitty out and I snappe...
Jim Harbaugh Really Admires SpongeBob SquarePants's Attitude
On this weekend’s episode of The Simpsons, Michigan coach/zealot Jim Harbaugh was a punchline to a joke about a “sports genius everyone hates.” Naturally, Harbaugh took it and ran, going on an extended tangent about cartoons on his weekly radio show....
This Is How The Deadspin Staff Is Voting
There’s no mystery about this site’s political leanings, and probably somewhat less public interest in who we’re voting for. Despite that, we thought it would be worthwhile on principle to follow our friends at Reason and Slate and go on record with our voting preferences, partly because it’s a wort...
Where Is Jared Goff?
Los Angeles fans waited a long time for a football team, but they can’t wait any longer for a competent quarterback. As early as the second quarter, and multiple times in the Rams’ 13-10 loss to the Panthers, the Coliseum crowd struck up the chant: “We want Goff!”...
Here Are Some Young NBA Players Who Are Butt
Many NBA teams have bright, bushy-tailed youths on them. Some of these youths will become cool and good professional basketball stars, but some of them, I am sorry to report, are butt. Here, in no particular order, are some young NBA players who are butt....
The Melbourne Cup Is Decadent And Depraved
You may have read Hunter S. Thompson’s famous article recounting the rampant debauchery at the Kentucky Derby and thought you’d glimpsed the true, beating heart of insane white people shit. But you’d have been mistaken. It’s not until you see these photos of the Melbourne Cup, Australia’s most drunk...
Smash Mouth Love Trent Baalke, Hate Chip Kelly
Smash Mouth—the house band from hit 2001 film Shrek—are prominent, prolific Twitter users who are unafraid to go to the mattresses to correct the record if you spread falsehoods online. The San Jose, Calif. natives are also, as it turns out, big 49ers fans who count themselves among the ever-dwindli...
Trump "Speaks" Hindi In Surreal Attempt To Pander To Indian-Americans
Donald Trump mega-donor Shalabh Kumar has posted an ad in which the Trump himself speaks Hindi. In fact, the deflated egg sac emits just a few words before the video cuts ahead, suggesting that he couldn’t muster five words in a row, one of which was his own name. ...
Dan Haren, Please Send Us A Photo Of Your Dogs
Let’s see the pugs, Dan....
Chris Hansen Offers To Build Seattle An NBA Arena Without Public Funding
On Thursday, the Sacramento Kings will play their first game in a new arena that the city chipped in $255 million to build. They scraped together that money in 2013 in order to win an arms race with billionaire Chris Hansen and the city of Seattle. Hansen’s offer to the Maloof family was $39 million...
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
Laremy Tunsil Hurt Himself Getting Out Of The Shower
Rookie offensive lineman Laremy Tunsil was a surprising omission from the Dolphins’ starting lineup yesterday, as he hadn’t been listed on any injury reports during the week leading up to the game. Today, head coach Adam Gase finally revealed why Tunsil was unable to play on Sunday, confirming a rep...