art Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Tattoo Should Cause No Problems Whatsoever
Know how I know your team is gay? It's, um, tattooed right on your arm there. Let this be a lesson to you kids: Beer, Aussie Rules football and Thai tattoo parlors generally don't mix. That's always been my motto, anyway....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your new invisible Spanish friend ... • College Football: Florida Gators at South Carolina Gamecocks. Gamecocks. Insert Beavis-like laugh here. [ESPN] • College Football: Come say goodbye to the Orange Bowl. [ESPN2] • Movie: Love & Basketball. Stevie and Cuttino are pumped! [ABC F...
Pedro's Offseason Workout Regimen
Far be it from us to tell a professional athlete how to live his/her life, but heavens, Pedro, you're turning into Schilling....
Dennis Dixon Takes Tougher Classes Than Matt Leinart
You might remember a couple of years ago, when everyone had their proverbial panties in a proverbial bunch about Matt Leinart taking only one class his senior year, ballroom dancing. This ultimately didn't turn out well for Leinart; all that extra time just gave him more impregnation opportunities. ...
This Morning, Ashley Judd Weeps
The college basketball season has barely started — really, it hasn't, not at all — and we've already had three ridiculous upsets (even if two didn't count). This is a welcome break; if you'll remember the NCAA tournament last year, we barely had any. We hope this is a good sign....
Michigan State Is Quite Fired Up About Michigan
Sticking with the Big Ten theme this morning, we'd like to note that new Michigan State football coach Mark Dantonio seems as unhinged as the infamous John L. Smith....
Kirby Freeman Did Not Have a Good Day
It’s nice to see that someone took the time to dedicate a video to Kirby Freeman’s other-worldly stat line from Miami’s overtime loss to NC State. 1-14 84 yards 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions—that’s just fantastic. But hey, that 84 yard touchdown was probably the highlight of the day....
Big Ten Network Airs Another Mind-Dissolving Upset (So Nobody Saw It)
Well it's about damn time a Big Ten favorite loses their first game of the season to a championship-caliber team from a smaller division. Grand Valley State, who made it to last year's Division II Elite Eight round (only to lose on a buzzer-beater), took an exhibition game way too seriously and won ...
What Will Happen at the Next Pants Party?
Aileen Gallagher is filling in as the Cultural Oddsmaker this week. Email her to let her know what you think....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you read Scott Boras' neatly-typed apology letter, which may or may not be sincere ... • NBA: Portland at San Antonio; Houston at Los Angeles Lakers. Charles Barkley is back! Did you miss him? [TNT] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Minnesota. Try to control your Penguin Lust. [Versus] • Boxing:...
What, No Facepaint?
For a franchise with such a short and unremarkable history the Carolina Panthers sure seem to attract an odd level of devotion. Most recently a curious young couple thought fit to devote their entire wedding ceremony to the team they love so much....
Who Will Win People's "Sexiest Fan Alive?"
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....
Just Another Peaceful Day Of Youth Baseball On Long Island
At first glance it's the story you've heard a hundred times before: Little League coach benches player for swearing; player calls dad on cell phone; dad and uncle arrive and pummel the coach unconscious on the pitcher's mound; arrests ensue. But this one has a few twists: Mob connections, federal wi...
Quincy Carter Hits Bottom Again
Once again our Arena League II fantasy team has been thrown into disarray with the news that Quincy Carter has been arrested on drug-related charges. As you know, Carter most recently played for the AFL's minor league Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings, but now resides in the Caddo Correctional Center ...
For Your Sunday Viewing Pleasure, Minus The NFL ...
12:05 — Movie. Enemy of the State [Encore] 1:00 — NASCAR. Nextel Cup in Concord, N.C. [ESPN Classic] 1:00 — Movie. Gladiator [TBS] 1:00 — Bowling. Woman's U.S. Open [ESPN] 1:00 — Movie. U.S. Marshals [Spike] 1:00 — Movie. Dumb & Dumber [WGN] 1:00 — Spanish WWE. Raw [Telemundo] 1:00 — Movie. Beverly ...
What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....